re: Financial Support or Love?

I wouldn't settle for just any man that could financially take care of me but I would stop with the loser types. Go to your local DFCS and talk to them about getting some help with things.

Quoting lil*Mama*Bear™:" Also start getting on some low income housing lists."

you just have to go to the welfare office for this right?

I never said anything about choosing men based on looks. Idk whrere you guys got that from. I just said I have made some bad choices in men in the past.. I never said those mistakes were male models. Lol. I have considered adoption, but I just don't like the option. If it ever came down to the point where I was not providing for my child, then I would definately make sure my child found help.. Even if it meant letting someone else take him/her in. I actually have friends of family that have offered to adopt my baby and they would keep in contact.. But I feel like it's my baby and my responsibility. I get to go through all the hard times, and I always get to watch my baby grow with love. These few months have already created a bond. I love my child. And you all have some really great advice but I've been working on ALL that. I'm on WIC. I've applied for food stamps and HUD. But the waiting lists here are soooo long. I applied months ago and still no word. I put in applications to income based housing.. They're all full and I'm at the bottom of the list. There's not a lot of options here in my small town. I've considered moving but I'm scared. I was born and raised here, it's all I've ever known. On the other hand, my baby daddy is very abusive and I have to avoid him, even run from him if we ever cross paths. He's literally held a gun to my head and threatened to hurt me and kill the baby. He's tried running my car off the road. He's NUTS. And I know what you're all thinking.. Call the Cops. It's not that simple. Police down here are so crooked.. I'm better off handling this myself. Idk what to do!!

Quoting Máthair:" I look at marriage completely logically. It's a partnership, not a love match. I want a partner, a friend, ... [snip!] ... be a good father. I don't believe in true love so i'm not looking for it. So yes, if I found a good guy I'd "settle" for him."

That's what I'm saying. I feel like if I'm looking for love I'll waste my life away. My mother is grown and still searching.. I don't wanna be that person. I mean, I'm not saying find a man and use him. I'm just saying.. Maybe I should find a man that I can tolerate that will pay half the bills and love my child. I'll work, too. I'll keep the house tidy. I'll pull my load, but I can't do it all on my own. Just so happens that the good men are the one's no girl falls for. Maybe I need to trip myself this time??

Quoting Christina Getty:" you just have to go to the welfare office for this right?"

depends where you live. here the welfare office doesnt do anything dealing with housing.. we have a seperate housing authority for things like low income housing and section 8

Quoting Becca&Baby.:" I never said anything about choosing men based on looks. Idk whrere you guys got that from. I just said ... [snip!] ... Call the Cops. It's not that simple. Police down here are so crooked.. I'm better off handling this myself. Idk what to do!!"

if hes lke that then id def move

You can't help who you are attracted to but you can help who you date! So wait it out for a great guy whom you are attracted to rather than dating worthless guys or settling just for the sake of financial support.

Quoting Becca&Baby.:" That's what I'm saying. I feel like if I'm looking for love I'll waste my life away. My mother is grown ... [snip!] ... do it all on my own. Just so happens that the good men are the one's no girl falls for. Maybe I need to trip myself this time??"

A good man is hard to find. Really. I've been a single mom my daughter's whole life. But I'm completely happy doing it alone. It gets hard but it's not the end of the world if you don't have a man to help. It's easier if you did but why waste the time, the energy, the heartbreak and the drama?

I agree, I don't have to have a man to RAISE my child. But I do have to have help SUPPORTING my child. There's just no way of doing it on my own. Even if I work full time, a big chunk of my check will be going to day care. Which I don't agree with anyways. I've worked in day cares and those teachers are NO angels. Trust me. I don't think I could stand taking my baby to a day care each day. Don't let those smiling faces fool you. It's a diff ball game when they get in the classrooms. Let them say a wrong word or pee their pants.. OV.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Christina Getty:</b>" you just have to go to the welfare office for this right?"</blockquote>




They may have lists I places. But it's separate from welfare.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Becca&Baby.:</b>" I agree, I don't have to have a man to RAISE my child. But I do have to have help SUPPORTING my child. ... [snip!] ... faces fool you. It's a diff ball game when they get in the classrooms. Let them say a wrong word or pee their pants.. OV."</blockquote>




I hate daycare too. Could your mom or another family member help maybe?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Becca&Baby.:</b>" I agree, I don't have to have a man to RAISE my child. But I do have to have help SUPPORTING my child. ... [snip!] ... faces fool you. It's a diff ball game when they get in the classrooms. Let them say a wrong word or pee their pants.. OV."</blockquote>




I'm a single mom. My daughter has never been in daycare.

Quoting lil*Mama*Bear™:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Becca&Baby.:</b>" I agree, I don't have to have a man to RAISE ... [snip!] ... word or pee their pants.. OV."</blockquote> I hate daycare too. Could your mom or another family member help maybe?"

doubtful. my mom's on drugs, dad's an alcoholic. grandmother is kicking me out to avoid just that. the rest of my family thinks I'm a failure and are determined to prove themselves right by giving me no support what-so-ever. The only person I can turn to is my older brother who lives hundreds of miles away. Which he's not doing so good either. Just got layed off, so that delayed my vacation to visit.. Looks like when I do it may be a little more permanent than a vacation. And I really hate to be a burden on anyone.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Becca&Baby.:</b>" I never said anything about choosing men based on looks. Idk whrere you guys got that from. I just said ... [snip!] ... Call the Cops. It's not that simple. Police down here are so crooked.. I'm better off handling this myself. Idk what to do!!"</blockquote>

<blockquote><b>Quoting Becca&Baby.:</b>" I never said anything about choosing men based on looks. Idk whrere you guys got that from. I just said ... [snip!] ... Call the Cops. It's not that simple. Police down here are so crooked.. I'm better off handling this myself. Idk what to do!!"</blockquote>

I.am a domestic violence/ sexual abuse counselor and you.are definitely not stupid and its not your fault he abused you. If you call a local domestoc violence shelter/program they can help you. They can offer you shelter, help you get an apartment fastet, help you get rextraining orders or protective orders against him. They are there even just to talk. I work at one and we take women and children wjo.are running from abuse and need a safe place to go. Ic you call 211 ttheyll help you find one close to you.