Need some help. Cheating

Okay, so I'm just going to try to get all the important information out of the way first..

MY BIL is dating a girl we shall call her Amy.
My best friend is dating a guy who we will call Devon.
Amy and Devon have dated before.

Okay, that now that that's out of the way here we go...

On July 5th, my best friend called me in hysterics because Devon cheated on her. After much talking she said that she wanted to just forget and try to forgive, give him another chance yadda yadda... July 6th Devon and Amy's best friend was killed from drunk driving ( their friend was the one drinking and driving, hit a pole was ejected and killed). After that, Devon was acting weird still, but she chalked it up to the fact that his friend was just killed.

Fast forward to yesterday... My BIL texted me and said" Hey, question. Is your friend still dating Devon? Because he's been with Amy... A lot recently." I told him yes, and said she knows about what happened on July 4th. He proceeded to tell me that it's been more then that. That they are texting talking about wanting to get back together, and have "hung out" more then she knows about.

How does he know this? Amy's good friend told my BIL because she didn't think it was fair that she was playing him. ( BIL is friends with her friend)

I know with the given information, I need to tell my friend. I'm not going to just let her get cheated on repeatedly and sit back and allow it to happen. Now if I give her the information and she still wants to be with her, so be it, that's her choice.

But how exactly do I go about telling her? The friends funeral was JUST yesterday, I don't want to sound insensitive. TBH I really don't want to be pushed into the middle of the drama either. I will be there for my friend, but I don't want it to be a thing where Devon gets my phone number and smurf or something of that nature. KWIM? So how do I go about telling her? We've been best friends since high school, I love this girl with all my heart.

No one? Lol. No adivce?  

If she's your best friend you should be able able to just tell her straight up. Ask her to go out for a beer or lunch, and tell her you understand that she's in a tough spot but you thought she should know. this might sound smurffy, but i would rather someone give me bad new all at once so i can move on, than to move on from one bad situation just to be thrown into another.

I know you're set on telling her but if I were you, I would just keep my mouth shut. She already knows he's a cheater. Unless your friend is an idiot, she probably knows he'll cheat again. I seriously doubt you telling her would change her mind about him anyway. It's not like she doesn't already know what he's doing. I bet she realizes a lot more than she's telling anyone about...

Besides, you don't want to get involved in this stuff. It never, ever works out well.

Quoting Raptor Jesus:" I know you're set on telling her but if I were you, I would just keep my mouth shut. She already knows ... [snip!] ... than she's telling anyone about... Besides, you don't want to get involved in this stuff. It never, ever works out well. "

this too. i guess it depends how you feel about it. no offence but either way, you're the bitch in the end.
if you tell her and she decides to still be with him, you're the bitch. if you don't tell her and she finds out later you new, you're a bitch.

You said it yourself....that you don't want to get into the middle of all this. So there is your answer. Don't tell her anything. Stay out of it because these things never work out.

Quoting Raptor Jesus:" I know you're set on telling her but if I were you, I would just keep my mouth shut. She already knows ... [snip!] ... than she's telling anyone about... Besides, you don't want to get involved in this stuff. It never, ever works out well. "

But wouldn't you be pissed if your best friend knew someone and didn't tell you?

Quoting ScumbagFever:" this too. i guess it depends how you feel about it. no offence but either way, you're the bitch in ... [snip!] ... and she decides to still be with him, you're the bitch. if you don't tell her and she finds out later you new, you're a bitch."

This is how I feel. Except I hope she won't be mad at me. We had a talk about this not to long ago and she said she'd want me to tell her if I knew anything about her boyfriends. I hate being in these situations. Why did my BIL have to get me involved. And now my husbands fuming about it as well. Which I don't understand.. But it's whatever.

Quoting 3M'smom:" You said it yourself....that you don't want to get into the middle of all this. So there is your answer. Don't tell her anything. Stay out of it because these things never work out."

Idk. It's a damned if I do damned if I don't type of deal I guess.

If my best friend knew about my SO cheating, I would want to know. Wather I believed it or not. the truth eventually comes out and the messanger is forgiven.

I would sit her down and tell her. Start it off with " You remeber when you said if I knew your SO was cheating you would want me to tell you? well..." I would have the text messages to show her.

Its up to her from that point on, wather she gets mad or not she will eventually forgive you.