What should I do? *BD situation*

I'd been pursuing BD for C/S since May 2011. Me and BD broke up in my first trimester, he fell off the face of the planet. I literally could not find him until the same month I filed for C/S, which is the only reason I could file (Had to get his info). LO was about to turn 6 months at the time. He is 19 months old now.
BD is a major twist. He's so super interested in wanting to be a dad for a week, then dissapears for 2-3 months. Then he wants to be a dad again, then he dissapears. Literally, it's been like this for over a smurfing year. Dad, nah changed my mind, dad, changed my mind. He's met LO once when I drove to his city to do a DNA test and have him sign an Affadavit of Parentage.
Well, he hadn't had smurf to do with us in a while, then his girlfriend gave him permission (Ignore that, but it's accurate) to be a father and he decided he wanted to be a dad again. He called me 5-6 times a week for two weeks, but he wouldn't talk about LO...He'd call and say "So how's Niki?" I'd go on a huge, informative rant, and he'd talk about his life. It has always been this way.
Then he goes MIA again. He's not interested anymore. This was 2-3 weeks ago and I didn't hear a word from him since. Well, on the C/S paperwork (This is explained in detail in my last thread) I find out that this entire time, he's lied to me about his income. He's actually making about 25 times what he claimed...Why did he lie to me? Not sure, I couldn't have done smurf about it if he'd told the truth, but he lied.
I'm so incredibly done with my son being yo-yo'd back and forth at this guy's whim. I told him this last time that it was the LAST time he'd have the opportunity because it wasn't healthy for him to bounce in and out like that. I'm just so smurfing done and his mom keeps messaging me, calling me, saying she's going to bitch him out and make him check on our son, she's going to make him be a dad, and get this, she's going to make him LOVE our son.
I cannot do this smurf anymore. I can't. I'm so smurfing stressed out, I'm tired, I'm already in therapy for the emotional strain this is putting on me. No amount of bitching, whining, or pissing and moaning will make him give a flying rabid rat's ass about his son, nor love him.
What in the smurf should I do? I know BD is going to pop back in and just expect me to say "Oh it's chill, we'll give this another try, it's only the 12th or so try".

I don't blame you at all. It isn't right for him to come and go in and out of your son's life as he pleases, that's not good for him. I'd tell him he either steps up for real and STAYS in his son's life or that's it!

I've said this before, but really, Z's dad and your LO's dad have to be the same. They just gotta be.

Anyway, this past time we broke up, he was like, "I'm just not cut out to be a parent" when he left (which was his way of thinking he was in control of the situation, I kicked him out). But he'll want to see her out of no where, want weekends and then change his mind, it's ridiculous.

Does he actually see your LO or just call?

My response so far has been, "She needs stability, you can be re-introduced when you're stable, not a minute sooner." I have full physical custody and he won't pursue visitation because by the time he can get in to talk to anyone... he doesn't care again.

I guess my advice would be, establish custody if it's not already done. From there, you have more options.

IS your avi from damnlol.com??

Quoting October Rust:" I don't blame you at all. It isn't right for him to come and go in and out of your son's life as he pleases, ... [snip!] ... life as he pleases, that's not good for him. I'd tell him he either steps up for real and STAYS in his son's life or that's it!"

I said that about a month ago when he decided to pop back in and he's bounced, yet again. I'm done.
He has no rights to our child, he has not taken me to court or had anything established.

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" I said that about a month ago when he decided to pop back in and he's bounced, yet again. I'm done. He has no rights to our child, he has not taken me to court or had anything established."

Show him you mean business and don't bother with him. If he wants to be in his son's life bad enough he knows what he needs to do!

Quoting anonymom + 1.5:" I've said this before, but really, Z's dad and your LO's dad have to be the same. They just gotta be. ... [snip!] ... advice would be, establish custody if it's not already done. From there, you have more options. IS your avi from damnlol.com??"

He's seen LO once and called occasionally long enough to ask how he's doing, and then immediately change topic and start talking about his life. He didn't even know our son's full name until about three months ago.
And custody has not been established via courts, though I have LO 24/7 and his daycare is aware that BD is not allowed to pick him up nor see him without my consent, which has never been an issue thus far because he's never wanted to see him.
And it probably is, I don't remember lol.

Quoting October Rust:" Show him you mean business and don't bother with him. If he wants to be in his son's life bad enough he knows what he needs to do!"

That's what I was thinking, but I wasn't sure it was 'ethical'.
I told my mother today that considering his income, if he wanted to see our child badly enough, he could easily hire a lawyer and sue me for custody. I haven't been taking his calls simply because I refuse to be lied to and I'm tired of it.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this smurf. I can't even imagine.  

Quoting [[Breezy]]:" I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this smurf. I can't even imagine.  "

Therapy has helped me TONS with the issues, so I'm handling it much, much better.
I guess I just wish the same thing every mother mom with a non-custodial father wishes...They'd be straight forward about what they wanted.