Need advice..no negative comments, please. LONG.

So I just had my baby recently. I'm married to the love of my life. Sounds awesome, right? Well..it IS, but it's not at the same time.

I can't stop being depressed and crying. I've always had pretty irregular periods, but they were pretty much starting to take a normal-ish schedule for months prior to me getting pregnant. Anyway, I had been broken up with my now husband for months during last summer. I was going out a lot because of this, and in turn, having sex. Now, I wasn't aware I could get pregnant because I was informed that I could in fact, not get pregnant. Not that it's an excuse, but, there you have it.

So after the last time I got my period, I slept with an ex of mine that I absolutely loathe. Why did I sleep with him? I don't know. I don't have any logical explanation. I just did. I slept with him when I just had gotten off my period, and then again a week later.

Lo and behold, me and my now husband got back together very shortly after. Then I found out I got pregnant! Awesome.
I got an ultrasound done, which dated my conception about 3 weeks after I was with my ex. But, I'm still iffy about this because I hadn't gotten a period when the u/s indicated I would've and I skipped a period that same month.
In the beginning of this, I told my now husband--he said based on all the information, the dates were too far apart, he didn't care, blah blah blah. He's never had a shadow of a doubt about it since. I, on the other hand, think about it 24/7.
Now that the baby is here, I asked if he had any doubts--none.
I'm so torn. It would literally kill me if my ex was the father. KILL me. I know it's my fault, I get that, but I've never been so remorseful or regretted something so much. Nothing. My husband's family has been involved in this entire thing (not about the ex, but the baby) and have been SO damn excited. They love the baby...as does his friends..my husband. He is so smitten and does everything for the baby. I try to always do the majority of everything and anything because I feel so smurfing guilty. If the ex WAS the father, they'd all be so devastated. I don't even care about my feelings--I just care that it'd hurt so many people that I love more than words can describe. I have the best husband you could ask for. And I would lose all of that.
But I can't rid my mind of it...I obsess over it. And I don't know what to do. The ex would be a TERRIBLE father and he and I (because of me) can't be around each other, because I hate him so much. I just am so broken..

Just leave it alone!
everything is going fine
who cares???
Your DH obviously doesn't, so why does it matter? Just be happy!

I would have a paternity test regrdless of everything.

I think you are gong to get a negative comment or two just saying I hope you don't tho but good luck hun I have no advice but I can imagine that all this would bother a mom  

but if your SO does not care about any of it maybe you can try not caring so much ..TRY

did you get an U/S done early on ? those tend to be pretty accurate... does the baby resemble your husband ? just get a DNA test... I think there are some cheaper at-home alternatives too

Quoting InkDMomma:" Just leave it alone! everything is going fine who cares??? Your DH obviously doesn't, so why does it matter? Just be happy!"

This!!!!!!!!!!

unless DH wants a DNA test then go on living your lives as a happy couple <3 wishing you the best because i have been in similar situation

Quoting Whatsarahsaiid:" I think you are gong to get a negative comment or two just saying I hope you don't tho but good luck ... [snip!] ... that all this would bother a mom   but if your SO does not care about any of it maybe you can try not caring so much ..TRY"

why would she though ? she shouldn't... she was single at the time so *shrug*

Quoting #3 is on the way!:" I would have a paternity test regrdless of everything."

  this

Seems your husband knows it's a possibility and wants to be dad anyway. If you need a DNA test for your own piece of mind you should just tell him so, if it's for his benefit then ask him if he wants one.

Does your ex know?

I understand the 'what if's', and the 'not knowing'. But at the same time, your live seems to be going good. Your husband seems to have no qualms about any of it. He's very happy it seems.

As for the crying and being depressed, I think it might be a good idea to speak to your doctor about it, you seem to have some anxiety and possibly some baby blues since you just gave birth.

It's HIGHLY unlikely your ex is the father.

Regardless, sperm makes you a bio father. Raising a child makes you a dad.
Your husband believes the baby is his, and wants to raise him that way. I would just accept it at that.


I really don't think it's even possible to conceive three weeks after sex.
We all makes mistakes.
Relax, mama. Enjoy your little family  

There's dna tests at walgreens or walmart. ITs like $80 bucks then you know. :shrug: Try and ninja him while he's sleeping, its just a cheek swab.

Quoting Sarah Michelle Austin:" So I just had my baby recently. I'm married to the love of my life. Sounds awesome, right? Well..it IS, ... [snip!] ... be a TERRIBLE father and he and I (because of me) can't be around each other, because I hate him so much. I just am so broken.."

Breathe. Smurf happens that we sometimes cannot explain. We are only people; we make mistakes. So that being said-try not to beat yourself up. It's great that you were honest with your husband. If you need to put your mind at ease-then go for a paternity test. But prepare yourself for what you would after you know the results, if they're different than you'd hoped.

Chin up hun...

Quoting #3 is on the way!:" I would have a paternity test regrdless of everything."

this, you can get one at the drug store!
does the baby not look like your DH?
If baby does then I wouldn't worry about it.