Quoting Ellie Shikari:" having a major anxiety attack and feeling really angry. it's been four years since my termination, that ... [snip!] ... ways but for me it was very traumatic and i am not grieving well at all. sorry for the rant. sorry if i sound like a dick."
I've never had an abortion, but I couldnt imagine having one then regretting it. I think the only thing thats going to make it go away is time, and I know you said that you already waited four years. :/ Maybe you could try to remember the reasons you got one? Good luck with everything.