A new baby...

So, I recently found out that my daughter's father who is 27 has gotten his 19 year old girlfriend pregnant. We are still married, but have been separated for a while. He is living in KY and me in CA. What bothers me most about this is that he is surely moving on, so why is he avoiding the server who is trying to serve him with divorce papers?! He knows that they are divorce papers. He has another woman knocked up for crying out loud. All I want is to be divorced! He has had nothing to do with my daughter since Feb. 2011. I feel like I don't even want to mention to my daughter that she could possibly have ANOTHER sibling (he already has a 8 year old daughter in KY who my daughter knows about). Would it be wrong of me to not tell her about this sibling? Her dad isn't involved in her life, so why would he involve his new child?

Why wouldn't you tell her? it's not the kids fault that their dad is a loser.
I would be pretty upset if I was kept away from my siblings, my sister is my best friend.

How old is she? If she's younger I don't see why it would need to be brought up, but I wouldn't always keep it from her. My father wasn't involved in my life but I didn't like my mother trying to hide smurf - like my little sister - either.

Depends how old she is

Maybe he is avoiding the server because he doesn't want to end up paying child support??

Quoting Mama to William + 1:" How old is she? If she's younger I don't see why it would need to be brought up, but I wouldn't always ... [snip!] ... her. My father wasn't involved in my life but I didn't like my mother trying to hide smurf - like my little sister - either."

She is almost 4.

Quoting ☆ Katie ☆:" Maybe he is avoiding the server because he doesn't want to end up paying child support??"

He doesn't have a job and purposefully don't get a job so that he doesn't have to pay CS for his first daughter, so I don't see why that would be an issue for him really.

Quoting Kimber-Lily:" Why wouldn't you tell her? it's not the kids fault that their dad is a loser. I would be pretty upset if I was kept away from my siblings, my sister is my best friend."

I'm sure I would eventually tell her about it, but really if she can't have any communication with the sibling then what is the point? She has nothing to do with that side of her family.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Brookelynn's Mommy:</b>" She is almost 4."</blockquote>




Yeah at that age i wouldnt tell her, especially if she wouldnt be seeing the baby anyway because it would probably confuse her. But for sure as she is older i would tell her

Quoting Brookelynn's Mommy:" I'm sure I would eventually tell her about it, but really if she can't have any communication with the sibling then what is the point? She has nothing to do with that side of her family."

She won't always be a little kid. At some point she will get curious, no matter how much of an smurf he may be, and want to know him and his family.
I was 15 before I met my father or his family. I'm glad I knew I had a sister prior to that.

Quoting Mama to William + 1:" She won't always be a little kid. At some point she will get curious, no matter how much of an smurf ... [snip!] ... want to know him and his family. I was 15 before I met my father or his family. I'm glad I knew I had a sister prior to that."

I know she won't always be a little kid. I am actually very open with her knowing that whole side of the family. She calls her grandparents on that side whenever she wants to, but it is always a one way thing. They never call her or anything. As far as her dad goes, she hasn't talked to him in over 4 months and that is by his choice. I am very open with her about where he is and why he is there and not here. The reason that she keeps in touch with her older sister is because of the little girl's mother and I keep in touch. My ex also has nothing to do with that child. I guess I kind of feel that if I give it a couple years, him and his gf won't be together and she will come around and want her kid to know who her family is, which I would of course be open about that. But as of right now I just feel that there is really no point in it. My daughter will never see this baby anytime in the near future, and she doesn't talk to her dad, so he will never tell her, and his gf has no interest in trying to get to know my ex's children.

Quoting Brookelynn's Mommy:" So, I recently found out that my daughter's father who is 27 has gotten his 19 year old girlfriend pregnant. ... [snip!] ... be wrong of me to not tell her about this sibling? Her dad isn't involved in her life, so why would he involve his new child?"

Personally, no I don't think it is wrong, depending on how old she is (i didnt look at your profile so i am not sure.)

I would mention it maybe depending on how comfortable you feel about it. If she is never going to see this baby or etc then maybe it isn't worth really getting into. My daughter knows she has a sister through her father, but I never talk about the baby unless she does (which she doesn't because she never sees her). So you could tell her and just see what she says if she just brushes it off then let it go.