What do you tell your kid?

So my son is still a baby and I realize I may find a great male role model/father figure in the future but...I am concerned about what to tell my son about his real daddy. Mainly because I cannot figure out why or how you could not try to be in your own flesh and blood's life?? I am concerned my son will grow up feeling like a piece of him is always missing because he's never met his daddy. Or that he'll have low self esteem. Or I'm afraid when he gets to his teenage years or maybe even younger that he'll blame me for not having a Dad around. Single moms, how did you handle this situation or how are you planning on handling it? thanks  

Quoting ItsEasyIfYouTry:" So my son is still a baby and I realize I may find a great male role model/father figure in the future ... [snip!] ... for not having a Dad around. Single moms, how did you handle this situation or how are you planning on handling it? thanks  "

When he asks I'll just tell him it was daddy's choice and I can't explain why he chose what he did... but we did pretty okay without him.

The way a father could disappear is the same way a mother could have an abortion.

Anyway, my son is 3 & I've yet to tell him anything about his father. I'm not sure what to say yet, so I just don't say anything. He hasn't asked, so I don't feel the need to tell him yet.

My BD is a deadbeat and was in and out of jail my DD's whole life until recently. I just told her he was at work far away.

Also, I never talked bad about him to her. He's only seen her for a total of maybe 10 days her whole 3 years of life but she loves him.

Quoting ma ♥:" The way a father could disappear is the same way a mother could have an abortion. Anyway, my son is ... [snip!] ... father. I'm not sure what to say yet, so I just don't say anything. He hasn't asked, so I don't feel the need to tell him yet."

....what doeshat have to do with her question.

I would explain the situation to him in the best way possible, at an age that he can fully understand. Regardless of how the situation ended between his father and I, the last thing I would do is talk badly to him about his father. And if he wants to get in touch with him, I am all for it---but I would strongly advise him not to expect to much from it as he did decide to get up and leave. It's a very sticky situation---it's such a long way from having to sit down with your kids and have that talk with them that I would just not try to think of it and go about living my life.

Quoting Curlyheadedfck:" When he asks I'll just tell him it was daddy's choice and I can't explain why he chose what he did... but we did pretty okay without him."

do you ever worry if your lo will not understand or be mad at u over it?

Quoting ItsEasyIfYouTry:" do you ever worry if your lo will not understand or be mad at u over it?"

every damn day.  

Quoting ItsEasyIfYouTry:" So my son is still a baby and I realize I may find a great male role model/father figure in the future ... [snip!] ... for not having a Dad around. Single moms, how did you handle this situation or how are you planning on handling it? thanks  "

My mom always told me that he wasn't ready to be a dad. I accepted that. And never relly thought much of it. You don't miss what you never had.

i will tell my son hes dad was not ready to be a father and had alot in his own life to fix but he loves him very much etc wont talk bad about him he can make hes own mind up when he gets older and meets him because he will see for himself and at least i will have a piece of mind that i tried and let him see his father so he never turns around and says you made my choice for me ! so yeah  

Quoting Curlyheadedfck:" ....what doeshat have to do with her question."

I was just responding to the part in her OP- "Mainly because I cannot figure out why or how you could not try to be in your own flesh and blood's life??"

Quoting ma ♥:" I was just responding to the part in her OP- "Mainly because I cannot figure out why or how you could not try to be in your own flesh and blood's life??""

yah...flesh and blood that is BORN.
an abortion is totally different.  

Quoting Andrej's Mummy  :" i will tell my son hes dad was not ready to be a father and had alot in his own life to fix but he loves ... [snip!] ... piece of mind that i tried and let him see his father so he never turns around and says you made my choice for me ! so yeah  "

good advice.

Quoting кïnga:" I would explain the situation to him in the best way possible, at an age that he can fully understand. ... [snip!] ... to sit down with your kids and have that talk with them that I would just not try to think of it and go about living my life."

yeah you're right i should just enjoy my peaceful moments away from drama. that's the whole reason i left bd in the first place. thanks for reminding me of that.

Quoting кïnga:" I would explain the situation to him in the best way possible, at an age that he can fully understand. ... [snip!] ... to sit down with your kids and have that talk with them that I would just not try to think of it and go about living my life."

yeah you're right i should just enjoy my peaceful moments away from drama. that's the whole reason i left bd in the first place. thanks for reminding me of that.