Quoting *Wicked Mama*:“ AFUCKINGMEN.... I have Richard tell me exactly what he is thinking...my husband can be a naughty, ... [snip!] ... these girls. I mean, he did choose me after all, right? And if he finds those girls hot, then I must be just as smokin' :-P”

Good way to think of it. Wish more women would.

C.

Quoting God:“ Good way to think of it. Wish more women would. C.”

A lot more women would enjoy their sex lives a whole lot more if they would think of it that way. I am NOT the jealous type. Not in the least bit. No reason to be. I say let them look. The truth is, whether you give them freedom or treat them like dogs who should be locked in cages, if they are going to cheat, they'll do it regardless.

So, just enjoy the sex and say to hell with everything else. In my opinion, another thing women have a problem with is mixing up sex with love. Sorry, ladies, but sex is NOT a form of love. To me, it's not even a *show* of love. The intimate moments after or even before are the moments of closeness and "love." But they combine the whole thing. It's what makes them almost "afraid" of pornography or anything out of the ordinary.

They are all stuck in romance novels :-\

Wow, I highly agree with that, lol. That's actually how I see it as well.

pornography is an ADDICTION. and yet so many people on here treat it like no big deal. yeah, go take some speed or lsd or meth, cuz thats no big deal either. riiiiight. why do you think the porn industry is a multibillion dollar industy? and growing exponentially? because they get people HOOKED!

ask a family practice lawyer or ANY marriage counselor. I bet you that porn has to do with a HUGE percentage of their clientele. I know a marriage counselor... he says that porn is an epidemic. an epidemic!!! that is a strong word.

And you know, i can kinda see how it might be a little exciting to experiment with it in your love life. It would be something new and exciting and naughty. but hey, i can also see how trying dope might be an exciting experiment too. but why risk addiction? most of the time it is men that get addicted, so on this forum, the more applicable question would be, why risk your signifigant other getting addicted?

I think that porn in a relationship can start out really innocently.. and then before you know it, you are finding a secret stash in your home and your husband finds it more convenient to just watch it by himself as much as he wants and masturbate to it as much as he wants.. you dont even have to be around for him to pleasure himself... how convenient for him. and he gets addicted.

not to say that this happens to everyone that views porn, obviously, but i think it is more the norm than the exception.

and to the person that asked me about my opinion on toys in the bedroom: i dont necessarily see a problem with them as long as both partners feel totally comfortable with using them. just like any other sexual act... both partners should feel 100% comfortable with it.

oh man, this is sooo long. lols. sorry bout that.

Quoting brendaruth:“ pornography is an ADDICTION. and yet so many people on here treat it like no big deal. yeah, go take ... [snip!] ... any other sexual act... both partners should feel 100% comfortable with it. oh man, this is sooo long. lols. sorry bout that.”

Why would experts in relationships agree that porn can ENHANCE a relationship?

SOME people get addicted. NOT all...just like SOME get addicted to gambling.

BOTH can be fun.....if both partners are stable and healthy consenting adults.

Quoting Satan:“ Why would experts in relationships agree that porn can ENHANCE a relationship? SOME people get addicted. ... [snip!] ... all...just like SOME get addicted to gambling. BOTH can be fun.....if both partners are stable and healthy consenting adults.”

Exactly.

Porn can be fun. Some people do get addicted. I'm not. I can live without it.
Porn is not comparable to speed, lsd or any other drug.

Quoting brendaruth:“ pornography is an ADDICTION. and yet so many people on here treat it like no big deal. yeah, go take ... [snip!] ... any other sexual act... both partners should feel 100% comfortable with it. oh man, this is sooo long. lols. sorry bout that.”

Yes, people can become addicted to it just like anything else. Anything can become an addiction when self control is not used. Hand washing can become an addiction, but that does not mean we should obstain from it.Just like about anything else there is a middle ground. I think as long as is does not get even close to the point of obsession, I think it is fine.
I also wanted to point out that a porn addiction and a drug addiction are not comparible IMO. One is a chemical dependancy and one is a behavioral problem.

Quoting ♡Kimi's Mommy:“ Exactly. Porn can be fun. Some people do get addicted. I'm not. I can live without it. Porn is not comparable to speed, lsd or any other drug.”

but omgosh, isnt that exactly what drug users say? or alcoholics?

how many addicts do you know that openly proclaim that they are an addict?? not saying that YOU are an addict, just saying that most addicts are in denial about the fact that they are addicted to whatever.

just an example to illustrate my point. my SIL was a meth addict. it took her YEARS to finally own up to the fact that she had a problem. she used to say the exact same things. "its fun. im not addicted. some people are, but not me, i can live without it."

Quoting lilmrsmchenry:“ Yes, people can become addicted to it just like anything else. Anything can become an addiction when ... [snip!] ... a porn addiction and a drug addiction are not comparible IMO. One is a chemical dependancy and one is a behavioral problem.”

idk, both of them send "feel good" messages to the brain. one is chemically induced and the other is chemically induced within our own body.

Quoting brendaruth:“ but omgosh, isnt that exactly what drug users say? or alcoholics? how many addicts do you know ... [snip!] ... problem. she used to say the exact same things. "its fun. im not addicted. some people are, but not me, i can live without it."”

ever heard an expert say that Meth enhances ANYTHING.

but they do say porn is great porn is good...so go buy some....

Quoting Satan:“ ever heard an expert say that Meth enhances ANYTHING. but they do say porn is great porn is good...so go buy some....”

i dont know what "experts" youve been talking to.

 

"My boyfriend really likes to watch porn. I wouldn’t say he’s addicted or anything, and he wants us to watch together, but I’m not into it. We have a good sex life otherwise, and I want to figure out a way to make this okay, but some of my friends say that it’s not normal to watch porn when you’ve got a girlfriend, and even if it is, I don’t know how I can get into it."
A.
This is a very common question and concern. Let’s start by dispelling a major porn myth; there is absolutely nothing “unhealthy” or abnormal with watching porn in and of itself. As long as we’re talking about legal adult movies, and as long as everyone who is watching is consenting, there is nothing inherent in pornography that makes it bad. That doesn’t mean that people do use porn in unhealthy ways, watching too much of it or becoming obsessive about it. But people do this with drugs, work, even sports, and we don’t consider those things “evil” (well, some of us do I guess).
Sex therapist Marty Klein says that no one in a healthy sexual relationship would choose porn over sex with their partner. Notice the qualification of “healthy”. It doesn’t sound like this is happening in your relationship, but it’s still worth pointing out that if you feel like you’re being passed over for porn, there’s definitely a problem (although it may be more a problem with the relationship than the porn).
All that said, the way that you and your boyfriend each feel about porn, and the role that porn has in your relationship may be unsatisfactory to you, and you have a right to expect your needs to be addressed here (exactly as much as he has the right to have his needs addressed).
The first thing I want to suggest is that you talk to him about it. Without being judgmental, it would be interesting to know what he likes about porn. Is it the fantasy? Are there things he sees that he wants the two of you to try? Is it boredom or habit?
I also think you should take some time to think about your feelings around porn. Is it something you are interested in at all? If so there are some key things to know about picking movies that might help you out. If you are not interested in making porn a part of your sexual relationship, are you okay with your boyfriend still watching it sometimes? If it feels absolutely wrong to you, can you explain these reasons to him?
Sexuality is so complicated and it goes so deep, that it is unlikely we will ever share all our partners’ sexual interests. To some extent relationship is about compromise, and this may be a time when one or both of you will have to meet somewhere in the middle.

Because visual pornography seems to be a part of many people’s early exposure to sexual material (a “fact” that isn’t really verifiable, but nonetheless is taken as true) it is often considered a form of sex education. And because, as adults, most of us don’t get the chance to talk honestly and openly about sex with a wide range of people, many adults continue to believe that what they see in pornographic films represents common sexual practice.

Both of these ideas, when it comes to the vast majority of mainstream pornography, are completely false. People may watch adult films, get ideas from them, and mimic those ideas in real life, but this isn’t the same thing as sex education. And when it comes to mainstream pornography, very little in it represents common sexual practices.

Mainstream pornography is no more like most people’s sex lives than big budget Hollywood films are like most people’s daily lives. Notice how in Hollywood movies people rarely go to the bathroom, and never look anything other than stunningly beautiful. It’s the same in porn only they never use condoms, and their bodies always look perfect when their naked…and moving.
zSB(3,3)

Here are just a few of the significant ways that mainstream pornography does not represent most people’s sexual experiences. These differences are not meant to suggest that mainstream pornography is good or bad/right or wrong. Most sex therapists and educators agree that watching adult films can be a very healthy part of adult sexual expression.
Porn isn’t made for the actors:
While sex should be all about what gives the people who are engaging in it pleasure, porn is the opposite. When people have sex on camera for money they’re doing a job, and what they do isn’t designed to turn them on, it’s designed to turn on the viewer, to somehow be cost effective, and to make the director and editors jobs easier. Porn isn’t a document of two (or more) people having pleasurable sex, it’s one person’s idea of what will titillate millions of other people.
Most porn is made in a vacuum:
Real life sexual experiences happen in a social context. Whether it’s your first or thirty-first time, every time you have sex you bring your past experiences and your values to bed with you. Porn has none of this. The vast majority of mainstream pornography is made by a small, insulated, and surprisingly sexually unsophisticated group of people in southern California. Sexual behavior can be an incredibly complicated form of human communication and interaction. Pornography isn’t.
Just like in Hollywood, those bodies aren’t exactly real:
You should never compare your body to what you see in porn. For starters, porn actors are chosen in part for their physical attributes. The average penis size among male porn stars is not representative of anything in the general population. As well, because many female actors still make the majority of their money by stripping, plastic surgery remains ubiquitous in the adult entertainment industry.
It’s amazing what smoke and mirrors can do:
In addition to the plastic surgery and bodies that can only be maintained by working out seven days a week, adult filmmakers use other tricks to make porn stars bodies appear much larger, smoother, and “prettier” than what you see in real life. Lighting, camera angles, make up, and even pubic hair design changes the appearance (and apparent size) of porn star body parts.
Sex positions for the camera:
The sexual positions you see in porn are chosen for a few reasons including visual variety and what will allow the camera greatest access to all the hidden parts. Sex positions in porn don’t represent what’s most popular in the bedrooms of America, or even what is innovative in terms of offering more sexual stimulation. In fact some sexual positions you see in porn are clearly uncomfortable for one or both of the performers.
Porn is meant to shock and excite:
The kinds of sexual behaviors you see in porn are not based on any idea of what people actually do in their bedrooms, they are based on what will excite and often shock the porn viewer. They are also based on the pornographer’s need to “prove” to the viewer that actual sex is taking place. Thus external ejaculation is a required element of visual pornography, even though this is not necessarily a common part of the sexual repertoire.
Porn editors have their work cut out for them.

Most porn scenes are not shot continuously from the first ring of the doorbell (enter the pizza delivery boy) to the last silly line “Next time I’ll remember to order extra sausage!”). There are constant breaks and interruptions during the shooting of a single scene, and they may even shoot some elements out of order. The end result is that what you see, the order you see it in, and how long it all takes, is often determined by the editing and not the actual sex that took place.

Quoting brendaruth:“ pornography is an ADDICTION. and yet so many people on here treat it like no big deal. yeah, go take ... [snip!] ... any other sexual act... both partners should feel 100% comfortable with it. oh man, this is sooo long. lols. sorry bout that.”

Some people can be hooked on pornography, sure. Just like some people get hooked on gambling, video games, etc.

That doesn't make any of them inherently harmful, as most people can and do use them "responsibly".

Your beef should be with people who "abuse" porn, not porn itself.

C.

Pfft, what do those experts know anyway?

*snicker*

C.