How come the people with such harsh thoughts about certian subjects can never give areal reason about why they have such opinions?

me and my husband both share the same view about porn. If we didnt, i doubt that i ever would have married him in the first place. I dont need to "threaten" him with anything.

and to C.
saying that porn is sick and wrong isnt judging the people that view it. it is a judgement on PORN, not the people who watch it.

marriage is about mutual RESPECT, i dont believe that my man jacking off to naked women (who are not me) is respect. plain and simple. Just like i would never disrespect him by masturbating to naked men. some people may have a different definition of respect and what it means to them... thats great, whatever works for them i guess. its just not my opinion.

Quoting brendaruth:“ me and my husband both share the same view about porn. If we didnt, i doubt that i ever would have married ... [snip!] ... definition of respect and what it means to them... thats great, whatever works for them i guess. its just not my opinion.”

*sigh*

How you've managed to not understand after I clarified it for the other person, I don't know...

I did not take exception to you saying that porn was sick and wrong.

I took exception and called you judgmental for your comment about people who use porn as a method to get turned on having problems.

C.

Quoting God:“ *sigh* How you've managed to not understand after I clarified it for the other person, I don't know... ... [snip!] ... and called you judgmental for your comment about people who use porn as a method to get turned on having problems. C.”

Thank you :-)

I, personally, think women who expect their husbands are ONLY getting off to them are completely unrealistic. The fact is, it's in our nature to have wandering eyes. I'd rather him watch porn than go around fucking everything behind my back.

It is unrealistic to put so much into a relationship that you honestly believe one and only for one another. I know when I close my eyes it's not always my husband playing in my fantasies. Just as I am perfectly aware I'm not always the girl dancing in his mind :-)

Quoting God:“ *sigh* How you've managed to not understand after I clarified it for the other person, I don't know... ... [snip!] ... and called you judgmental for your comment about people who use porn as a method to get turned on having problems. C.”

you know, i really dont like the word 'judgmental'. especially in the negative context that most people like to use it in. It is not, in fact, a negative thing.
The definition is this:
1.involving the use or exercise of judgment.

We ALL exercise judgment in our lives to make our everyday decsions as well as life changing decisions. You calling me judgmental, was YOU judging ME!! So, i could call you judgmental.... but i wouldnt say it in a negative way. By calling someone judgmental, you might as well just call them human., because we are ALL judgmental. We have to make judgments to make decisions!

so yes, i suppose i AM judgmental. as are you and everyone else in the world.

Quoting brendaruth:“ you know, i really dont like the word 'judgmental'. especially in the negative context that most people ... [snip!] ... We have to make judgments to make decisions! so yes, i suppose i AM judgmental. as are you and everyone else in the world.”

Indeed. I will clarify then, though you clearly understood my context, that you made a value judgment about someone's life based upon one activity they enjoy.
If pornography is not for you, that is all well and good.

I do not understand how you can reasonably claim that there's a large problem if someone gets turned on from pornography. You haven't provided any kind of reasoning for this line of thinking.

C.

Quoting God:“ Indeed. I will clarify then, though you clearly understood my context, that you made a value judgment ... [snip!] ... problem if someone gets turned on from pornography. You haven't provided any kind of reasoning for this line of thinking. C.”

What i said was that if they had to use porn in order to get turned on enough to have sex with their partner, then they have bigger problems in their relationship. I stand by this judgment, because from what i have seen in my life and just from what i know about relationships from personal experience, it is true.

To me, it just makes sense that in a marriage or relationship that you should be turned on by your partner. that is a fundamental part of an intimate relationship. Taking away that integral part of an intimate relationship is bound to cause problems in other areas of the relationship. do you see my logic here?

Quoting brendaruth:“ What i said was that if they had to use porn in order to get turned on enough to have sex with their ... [snip!] ... part of an intimate relationship is bound to cause problems in other areas of the relationship. do you see my logic here?”

I see what you're saying, but I honestly don't know anyone who *needs* porn to get turned on for their spouse. A lot of people find it enhances their arousal, but they'd still be able to get turned on by their spouse if the porn wasn't available.

I someone truly *needed* it in order to have sex, then yes I'd agree there's a problem there.

C.

Porn turns me and my husband on...not all types of porn, but most of em lol...it isn't a respect issue..he and I respect each other greatly...but if we see 2 hot, naked people having sex on TV, we want to do what they are doing...just like if you see a big juicy hamburger on TV..you want to eat one don't you lol? Monkey see monkey do lol...anyways, if my husband NEVER wanted to have sex with me, and always preferred porn, that would be an issue but since that is not the case, we are fine..

What works for some doens't work for others...

Quoting brendaruth:“ What i said was that if they had to use porn in order to get turned on enough to have sex with their ... [snip!] ... part of an intimate relationship is bound to cause problems in other areas of the relationship. do you see my logic here?”

There are plenty more men in this world that turn me on more than my husband..in a sexual way...Justin Timberlake or Matthew McConahuey (sp?) turn me on WAYYY more lol...because they are super sexy to me and excite me, well sexually...

But that, in no way, means I want to be with him...my realtionship with my husband is so much more than our sex lives...that's actually somehwere near the bottom...how he treats me, how he knows my thoughts, shares all my inned feelings that I feel no one else does, understands me when I'm misunderstood, listens to me, does things for me and just for my happiness, and our mutual love for each other and wanting to share our entire lives together excites me in an entirely different way than Justin timberlake lol...

And the way my husband turns me on emotionally and mentally, far outweighs anything we get turned on by sexually..I see no problem with him getting turned on my Jessica Alba or whoever because she is hot, and biologically will excite his man parts...that is nature...but she doesn't have the other, more important stuff that I have ya know?

Don't get me wrong though, I still definitley excite my husband as he does me..but I see nothing wrong with someone who is underniably sexy turning him on, perhaps even more..

I just wanted to add, most of the time men or even women are not getting turned on by other men or women, its the act that they are commiting. Have you ever read a book that describes to people making love it is very arousing. It is natural to get aroused from seeing or even hearing about sex...

Quoting God:“ I see what you're saying, but I honestly don't know anyone who *needs* porn to get turned on for their ... [snip!] ... the porn wasn't available. I someone truly *needed* it in order to have sex, then yes I'd agree there's a problem there. C.”

exactly!! it's just another form of fore-play, to mix it up a bit. we don't watch porn all the time, in fact i can't remember the last time we got it out, but it's fun, something different, to add to the whole experience. i DO agree that if you have to HAVE porn to have sex, then yes, there's an underlying problem, and i feel sorry for those couples dealing with it.

so brendaruth, what is your opinion on 'toys' in the bedroom?

Quoting E.T's mommy:“ exactly!! it's just another form of fore-play, to mix it up a bit. we don't watch porn all the time, ... [snip!] ... problem, and i feel sorry for those couples dealing with it. so brendaruth, what is your opinion on 'toys' in the bedroom?”

Hey HEy dont get another topic started! lol

Too many women are so inseucre with themselves they honestly can't stand the thought their husbands may be imagining other women. It's sad, really, to lack confidence in yourself sexually. I may not believe myself to be hot shit outside of the bedroom (or bathroom, or living room, or kitchen...or car...and so on)but porn or no porn I know I can fucking move it.

Porn makes things exciting when the "marriage bed" has grown boring. Yes, it does get boring. I'm sorry, once you've played with every average position and a little naughty talk (if the porn haters even do THAT) things start to take a tumble. You HAVE to do something.

Even if that means putting in a porn, and tossing on a naughty school girl outfit...or a dominatrix leather suit, for those of us kinky bitches...:-P lol

Quoting Erica (MizAmERICA):“ There are plenty more men in this world that turn me on more than my husband..in a sexual way...Justin ... [snip!] ... my husband as he does me..but I see nothing wrong with someone who is underniably sexy turning him on, perhaps even more..”

AFUCKINGMEN....

I have Richard tell me exactly what he is thinking...my husband can be a naughty, naughty boy...but he has some hot ass taste in women. Makes me feel good about himself...thinking maybe I can compete with these girls. I mean, he did choose me after all, right? And if he finds those girls hot, then I must be just as smokin' :-P