justavent

thanx everyone

Lots of people with mutual belongings get divorced or seperate or break up.... You can get out if u want to.

Thats sad  . But you shouldn't feel trapped by material possessions, you only get one life and you don't want to spend it being miserable with someone you hate.

Don't let your home & debt stop you from being happy. You deserve to be happy. & You're obviously not happy in this relationship. Get out now, you'll feel so much better afterwards.

its SO sad! im depressed, im like never happy, i get anxiety attacts just hearing him come sometimes. If it wasnt for him i would still be in the Marine Corps. Its because of his non existent support the entire time i was in that i got out. Its because of him that we rented out our house in CA and moved to NC, bc he was too goddamn lazy to get a job! I wouldve been so much further in life if i just loved myself a little more when i met him. I wouldve never gotten with him if i had any self respect for myself. Now after years of put downs, i dont even feel like i could make it on my own especially with 15k in debt that i know he would never help me pay off. When we broke our engagement he left me with a 5k debt i ended up paying off. Hes a dirt bag. were living with his parents now, where i have no friends whatso ever. not even 1! because i dont ever get to go out and meet people. i am always watching our LO. i hate where i am in life.

we started this farm. Veteran owned hydroponics. ive invested so much money into it and its on his parents property. Its Veteran owned. i cant just leave my business. and if i was to leave i would NOT stay here in NC for another second. I believe he would try to pull some smurf saying im not mentally stable ( yea bc im fking depressed from this marriage!) and hes told me he would take nika from me. And the fact that i have NO family in this country is even harder. i have like no support. Nowhere to go. im not sure if he could care any less about that. He has never been supportive and allowed me to go see my family. We never have money for that and never will . so i guess ill never even see my family.

Quoting SubLowE:" we started this farm. Veteran owned hydroponics. ive invested so much money into it and its on his parents ... [snip!] ... and allowed me to go see my family. We never have money for that and never will . so i guess ill never even see my family."

Sounds like such a toxic relationship. You need to leave, for yourself & your child. As for the debt, I believe when you get a divorce the courts split it up (if you both equally created it...). Also, you'd probably get CS if you went for it...

Does your family have any money to get you back to them??

Quoting ma ♥:" Sounds like such a toxic relationship. You need to leave, for yourself & your child. As for the ... [snip!] ... created it...). Also, you'd probably get CS if you went for it... Does your family have any money to get you back to them??"

i only have my mom here in NJ, and she would help as much as she could i am sure, she would let me us stay at their house, shes begged me to come back! I dont want to go live in Europe right now. i think that would just be too great of a change for my daughter. ithink i may be able to get lawyer support as a veteran. this is out of hand. i dont even know how i got here. i so wish i found someone with a good personality. i dont even know where or who i was tog et with this person. He has changed me so much. i have an appt to talk to a therapist next month, i will tell them everything and see what they think is best bc i dont even know whats the best strategy for this problem

Quoting SubLowE:" i only have my mom here in NJ, and she would help as much as she could i am sure, she would let me us ... [snip!] ... month, i will tell them everything and see what they think is best bc i dont even know whats the best strategy for this problem"

That's probably your best bet, talking to a therapist. Just stay strong & remember that you DO deserve to be happy, & it is possible, you're not stuck in this relationship forever. Although you're married, you deserve to be happy & treated with respect.
Good luck!

Quoting ma ♥:" That's probably your best bet, talking to a therapist. Just stay strong & remember that you DO deserve ... [snip!] ... not stuck in this relationship forever. Although you're married, you deserve to be happy & treated with respect. Good luck!"

thank you so much. i believe i should be happy as well, and i do not want my daughter growing up thinking this is what marriage is about. i would rather be a single parent then be married and unhappy.

Quoting SubLowE:" thank you so much. i believe i should be happy as well, and i do not want my daughter growing up thinking this is what marriage is about. i would rather be a single parent then be married and unhappy."

Right. & Being a single parent isn't as bad as some people make it out to be. I've been a single mother since my son was born over 3yrs ago. & I am FINE. He has everything he needs (& more), but most importantly, I am HAPPY. (& I doubt I'd be this happy if I stuck with his father) He deserves to have a happy mother, just like your daughter does  

I BELIEVE that you can do it on ur own. There is a way. If I knew what I'd tell ya. Wish u lived here bc my girl is going to school to be a lawyer and has many friends that can help you.
You probably have more support then you think though. U don't have to leave ur business and he CAN'T take her away from you bc ur depressed. Ur not suicidal, ur not even on meds for it. But even If u were, he can't. Unless it is documented that you really are unstable.

Where would u wanna live if you left him?