Calling Step Dad (Dad) Advise please

Ok so my annoying suegra (Mother-in-law) Has been telling my fiance that my daughter not his biological daughter needs to start calling him dad or daddy or whatever instead of erick. I have always shrugged it off because he hasn't said anything so we never discussed. Until yesterday Ava & I was sitting on his lap and he looks at ava and says " Can i be your second dad?" of course she says yes she is 3 so he says can you call me dad instead of erick and she goes "but your erick" and he tells her but i want you to call me dad. So the whole day yesterday he would keep correcting her or she would correct herself. I was still in shock so i really didn't say anything but the whole day i avoided saying his name when i was talking to ava the whole day I would replace his name with him or he or something like that.

Ok I dont have a problem with her calling him dad but I dont think we should pretty much force her to sayit. When pretty much 2 and half years of her life she knew him as erick. Help please Advise please!!!

I think this is a discussion for YOU and SO.


Mother in Law should have no say. I would have said something right away to my SO about correcting LO...

I like how you said seugra... I can't call my MIL that for the life of me, it sounds too strange coming from me. lol I would just let it ride it's course. Is the other father in the picture at all?

I think that it should come from her. You shouldn't be pushing her to call him dad, at all.

If she wants to, she will when she's ready.

I would have been super pissed he didn't discuss it with me at all before dumping it on her.

does she know her real dad? its sort of hard to tell a child who is already 3 to randomly start calling someone by a different name, shouldnt force it on her.

Carson just started calling Mark "daddy" about 2 weeks ago. He asked if he could. Since DH and I met 2 years ago we said if we made it this far we would allow DS to choose on his own when he wanted to call DH "dad" that is what my step dad allowed me to do. DS does not know his bio dad though, up until 2 weeks ago he has always called DH "Mark"

I would allow your daughter to do it on her own, it makes it a bit more special imo

I think your mother in law needs to butt out.
Your daughter should be able to choose for herself whether or not she considers your fiance her "dad". She should use whatever title she feels comfortable with.

Quoting Goobs Mom [30]:" Carson just started calling Mark "daddy" about 2 weeks ago. He asked if he could. Since DH and I met ... [snip!] ... 2 weeks ago he has always called DH "Mark" I would allow your daughter to do it on her own, it makes it a bit more special imo"

Exactly. It's like saying "I love you" to someone for the first time. It doesn't feel like real love if you have to ask someone to say it to you. It feels forced and insincere.

Quoting Bobo's mum:" I think this is a discussion for YOU and SO. Mother in Law should have no say. I would have said something right away to my SO about correcting LO..."

Well i did this morning and he took it very wrong and got upset

Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" I like how you said seugra... I can't call my MIL that for the life of me, it sounds too strange coming from me. lol I would just let it ride it's course. Is the other father in the picture at all?"

lol .....
Uhhhh yeah but no he is a troublemaker so he gets to see her 4 hours out of a week

Quoting ×ø×K·ßear×ø×:" does she know her real dad? its sort of hard to tell a child who is already 3 to randomly start calling someone by a different name, shouldnt force it on her."

Yes and exactly

Quoting Wiggity Wack:" I think your mother in law needs to butt out. Your daughter should be able to choose for herself whether ... [snip!] ... for herself whether or not she considers your fiance her "dad". She should use whatever title she feels comfortable with."

Exactly what i said! After the wedding we are planning on being ttc and i just said if it was mean't to be she will and just cause she will here our future kids calling him dad she might want to but dont force. I straight up hate my mother in law for putting me in this postion.

Quoting Ashley 2 little miss Ava:" Yes and exactly"

if she already calls another man dad... shes only going to get confused if someone tells her to call them dad too. he needs to accept the fact with whatever she calls him.i mean it doesnt change anything so dont stress it

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" I think that it should come from her. You shouldn't be pushing her to call him dad, at all. If she wants to, she will when she's ready."</blockquote>




This.

We discussed this (Britton and I). If the girls decide to start calling him Dad or Daddy, then its fine. We have told the girls that he will be their step dad, but that they can still call him Britton. They dont quite understand the whole thing, and we dont want to push it and confuse them. They know that Britton will be Brynn's daddy.
Sophia has slipped up a few times and has called Britton Daddy. We dont make a big deal out if it and have rold everyone else to let them be and let them call Britton what they want. Its their choice. No need ro push them or confuse them. When they feel comfortable with it and the time is right for them, they will come around and do it, or they may never... not my choice to make for them. They are old enoigh to know they have a daddy, but not quite old enough to understand that they can have two daddies that love them and can call both of them that.