17 months...

I debated on whether or not I wanted to post my "memorial post" of sorts today, but I decided to go ahead...

I feel really bad today. It's been 17 months since Seth passed. A year and a half. I feel like I see him everywhere. Serena did this big wide-eyed grin the other day, and I flashed back. It was like Seth was right there making that same big happy face. Everything jumps out at me and reminds me of him. Carts at the grocery store. The toy section in walmart. Filling prescriptions. Baking cookies. Orange juice. Those boxes of Annie's organic macaroni and cheese ("because that's not mac and cheese. It's supposed to be REALLY orange.")

I wonder what life would be like if he were still here. If I'd be as much of a wreck as I am now. If Aiden and Serena would be any different with their big brother's influence. Aiden actually drew a picture of him, his uncle, and Seth today.

I'm rambling. The point is: Seth, baby, I miss you. But no matter what happened, no matter how short of time we had together, no matter how much it hurts now... I'm so glad that I was given the chance to have you in my life. You and your brother and sister mean the world to me. You are EVERYTHING.

So, as I mentally tuck you in tonight and hug your memory tight, I just wanted to remind you that I love you. No matter how many months pass, I will ALWAYS love you. Sleep peacefully, Seth bunny. <3

Can't believe it has been 17 months. I know exactly what you mean when you say you see him everywhere. It is the same for me and my ex who passed away.

I remember seeing you post a lot when he was having his treatments and such and I was hoping he'd pull through. He was such a fighter.Please know that he looks after his sister and brother everyday. ♥

I knew before I even opened this that'd it be about Seth so I came in to say that you are so strong and to give you a big *e-hug*. ♥

*hugs* He is a beautiful angel.