My story of my Angel baby
posted 2nd Jul '12
Hello everyone, my name is Natasha and Im relieved to have discovered this support site. Its good to know that Im not alone in my pain. Im 36 and live in NYC. My bf and I were ttc for a few months in 2011 with no success. Then in October I missed my period but didnt think much of it till it was a week late. We got a pregnancy test and it tested positive. We were incredibly happy, I went to the clinic for confirmation and we were ready to tell our parents the good news. I went for my first appointment 2 days later and was told I was 5 1/2 weeks pregnant. I was so happy. Then a couple days later I noticed a spot of blood, and felt some discomfort in my lower abdomen. I rested but I worried a bit. Then another couple days later I was very exhausted from going out for a walk and saw another spot of blood. I began to really be concerned. The following day, a Sunday, I got out of bed looked at my underwear and there was no blood to my relief, I then went to use the bathroom and as I pulled off my undies there was blood. I called my closest friend and my sister, they both told me to rest and see what happens. A few hours later I got out of bed to use the bathroom again and like before there was blood. I decided to go to the ER. They did an ultra sound and when the tech was done she told me to make sure I did not leave, "its very important" I knew something was wrong. Well, my attending obgyn docs came and told me that I was having an ectopic pregnancy...which means my baby was in my fallopian tubes. For some reason my baby could not get to my uterus and was stuck in my tubes. My tears began to fall immediately, I could not believe it, I had waited so long for this to happen, I always wondered if I could have kids, and then this terrible awaful thing happened, I was devastated. This was my first baby ever. When my bf came to the hospital to meet me I could barely look at him, he held me and we cried together in that room. I was given a shot of Methotrexate to terminate my pregnancy, since an ectopic pregnancy can be deadly if not caught in the early stage.
It took a week after receiving the shot for the real bleeding to begin and I knew it was really happening, my baby was really gone. It was painful too, i actually went back in the ER bc the pain and bleeding was intense, thank God I did go bc I was also developing an infection which needed anti-biotics. Its the most awful thing I have experienced.
Its been 9 months now, my baby wouldve been born in June 2012, so its a difficult time for me still. I still cry for her. I believe I wouldve had a girl, and I named her Natalia Haley, I think of her a lot and wish I couldve met her. I got some counselling and it was helpful, and lots of prayer. She is my first child and she will always be in my heart. I know my angel is in heaven. I pray God will give me another opportunity to have a successful pregnancy.