I don't find my SO attractive anymore, advice?

I just don't find my SO as irresistible as I used to. The initial spark has faded after 5 years. Anyone who's been in a long relationship have tips to keep the fire goin?

Quoting Let Me Tell You My Secret:" I just don't find my SO as irresistible as I used to. The initial spark has faded after 5 years. Anyone who's been in a long relationship have tips to keep the fire goin?"

I go thru that once in a while myself. The thing is, there is an underlying reason that you aren't finding him attractive. You need to get to the bottom of what is going on in the relationship. I know for me, when I start feeling that way about my husband it is because we are having some issues or I am stressed over something.

Yeah I have been through that. And usually when he's been pissing me off continuously. It does come back. I just used to take time out and spend a bit of time by myself. Then evaluate things and things have always seemed to improve. Or organise a night away for the 2 of you, and spend some nice time together. Sometimes when we are tired, (he's usually not helping out much) etc it does bring up alot of feelings. I'm like that when I'm sitting up in bed feeding and the bugger is laying beside me snoring his arse off. lol

Honestly, I'm just bored with him.



Ever since we had a baby our relationship has gotten incredibly boring because we always put our LO first. We've had sex once in the 3 months she's been alive and it was terrible because we didn't want to wake her up. (We co-sleep). We also work opposite shifts so we never have any quality time alone. And he also looks tired and gross all the time and smells bad. Total turn off, but I don't blame him. He's too busy being a good dad.

What do people do to spice things up after a baby?

The date night is a good idea. We haven't had a date night in months and things have gotten kind of stale

Quoting Let Me Tell You My Secret:" Honestly, I'm just bored with him. Ever since we had a baby our relationship has gotten incredibly ... [snip!] ... bad. Total turn off, but I don't blame him. He's too busy being a good dad. What do people do to spice things up after a baby?"

I have a 3yo and a 9 wo. Why not try having sex on the couch. Then you wont be waking baby up, adds some difference to the routine. (we all get like that) After both of our kids, sex improved but that was only cos I wasn't interested while I was pregnant. So it was more, yep now I'm back. lol. But maybe when he gets home, tell him he needs a shower etc (be honest), then when he gets out, wait for him at the bathroom door, or better still jump in the shower with him. Even if LO is laying on the floor in the lounge, LO isn't going far. And if its been a long time since sex, it wont take long anyway. lol
Maybe give that a try. He probably thinks you don't want to have sex. And someone has to take the lead, and if your sending off signals that he is gross, he probably doesn't want to make things worse by asking for sex.

Quoting Let Me Tell You My Secret:" Honestly, I'm just bored with him. Ever since we had a baby our relationship has gotten incredibly ... [snip!] ... bad. Total turn off, but I don't blame him. He's too busy being a good dad. What do people do to spice things up after a baby?"

try a date night. i would advise not going to the movies because you cant have a conversation together. try dinner, going for a walk. one on one time. and for the bedroom issue. have lo sleep in another location for the time being.