re: Should there be a limit?

Quoting usmcbaby!*35days*:“ imo, you're backwards on this one. If teenagers take care of babies/children they actually SEE how tough ... [snip!] ... to have their own children. If anything it makes them appreciate their childhood even more. Its the best form of birth control.”

You're forcing them to do it anyways by making them responsible for other siblings. Their brothers and sister are NOT their responsibility that is yours. No its not backwards. Look up al those old post from 3 and 14 yr old girls saying they are trying for a baby. They think because they took care of a brother or sister WHEN THEY WANTED TO (meaning when you are not forcing them)that it was easy and they could handle having a baby. When you force them then you forced them into the role anyways. What chiildhood does a child "assigned" to another child actually have that is their own? There is no excuse for putting the responsibility of YOUR children on another child unless they are a babysitter or something and then its only occasionally.

Quoting Leendah:“ Wow, that last bit was a HUGE assumption on your part. I come from a bigger family nowadays at least. ... [snip!] ... them because both parents are working, the families are smaller and they are trying to feel a void. Don't you watch Maury?”

So you think smaller familes are auotmatically bad now? There are even more good homes out there with 2 or 3 kids then there are with more. I have a aunt for example that has 5 kids all of which were ignored and neglected but thats because of their PARENTS and thats it. Broken familes come in all shapes and sizes so you should really look at who is making the huge "assumptions" here. You are putting down small familes and saying they are more likely to be in a bad situation or turn out bad. Thats just not true. Parenting is what causes those problems and when parents get streched thin is when they start dropping the ball. No a big family that "assigns" their kids to watch one another cant be streched then because they spread THEIR responsiblities onto their children. There may very well be some good ones out their but putting parenting responsibilities on a child they did not lay down and makewill never be right. I dont care if you have 2 or 200 kids its still not right. Ifyou made them then you take the responsibility for ALL of them on your own.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ You're forcing them to do it anyways by making them responsible for other siblings. Their brothers and ... [snip!] ... the responsibility of YOUR children on another child unless they are a babysitter or something and then its only occasionally.”

Any teenager with half a brain that has taken care of a screaming infant would never say they are ready for a child. In fact, the only teens I have ever heard say that are the ones that never experienced it in real life. Thats why, when these teens announce they are TTC on TV shows and stuff they give them baby for a day, its like shock therapy. Its gets rid of that baby fever quick, fast, and in a hurry.

I don't think its wrong to have one of your children babysit the other one (teenager to younger age). Its teaching them to be responsible, just as any other household chore would. What if its a single mom that works? Not all people have easy options and can afford child care.

Quoting usmcbaby!*35days*:“ Any teenager with half a brain that has taken care of a screaming infant would never say they are ready ... [snip!] ... other household chore would. What if its a single mom that works? Not all people have easy options and can afford child care.”

Yes, there are ones that have taken care of a screaming infant that want a baby that still say they can handle it. I watched those shows and laughed at how the girls acted with the babies. I took care of screaming infants for my brother and my aunts for pay and I didnt act that way even once. Its the people (adults)screaming in their ears that bugs them more then anything.

Asking them to babysit yes I can see but you do not have the right to force your kid into watching their brothers or sisters just so you can have free daycare. Its you that made that baby and you that should be taking care of it. Single mom or not its still not their responsiblity and shouldnt beits yours. If you cant get care for your own child then you shouldnt have that child, someone who CAN get them care without forcing the responsibility onto a a teen so they can have "free daycare" should. A baby is not a "chore" and should not be treated as such.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ So you think smaller familes are auotmatically bad now? There are even more good homes out there with ... [snip!] ... if you have 2 or 200 kids its still not right. Ifyou made them then you take the responsibility for ALL of them on your own.”

Alright, you really need to read a little better. We are talking a very, very large families. Of which nowaday, there are fairly few. Of those few....do you have any stats on how many ran out and got pregnant?
I said I felt it was sad, that nowadays, when we have the divorce rate we do, me being a woman who has been divorced and in a blended family, raising another woman's children, having more and more dysfunctional children in our society.....feel the need to question extremely large families. Are they really that big of a burden?
Sorry, but I think that there are worse things out there. I never said that small families were bad. I was a single mom for several years.
There can equally be said there is a problem with kids feeling ignored by their parents from smaller families. I see it all the time, with the teens coming over to hang out with my kids. Alot say the same thing, they think their parents ignore them. Most only have one or two kids. The feel they are just handed a psp, ipod or the tv and ignored. It isn't about siblings. Some are just teens being teens, others geniunely don't feel like their parents even look twice at them.
I also said that I personally know a lot of larger familier(10+ kids) . You are going off of a few posts to make this assumption. I don't know anyone with those problems, especially young girls getting pregnant at the age of 13 because their mom MADE them parent their babies.
That is what I meant by your assumption, i truly don't get it. I never once said smaller families were bad and bigger families were better. Ever.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ Yes, there are ones that have taken care of a screaming infant that want a baby that still say they ... [snip!] ... responsibility onto a a teen so they can have "free daycare" should. A baby is not a "chore" and should not be treated as such.”

Hmmmm, I've never seen it. But, like I said, for those with half a brain.

I dunno, maybe its just the way I was raised, but we all took care of each other. And I fail to see a problem with a brother or sister helping out around the house, "forced" or not. Parents have to work so those same kids can eat, they can share in the responsibility as well. If I ever do have a teenager and a toddler at the same time, I can guarantee that teen is not going to be running out around town all free willy without a care in the world. They will help.

Quoting usmcbaby!*35days*:“ Hmmmm, I've never seen it. But, like I said, for those with half a brain. I dunno, maybe its just the ... [snip!] ... can guarantee that teen is not going to be running out around town all free willy without a care in the world. They will help.”

I very much agree. I was the oldest and helped out. I don't feel hurt by it. In fact, I think I was made better for it.

Quoting usmcbaby!*35days*:“ Hmmmm, I've never seen it. But, like I said, for those with half a brain. I dunno, maybe its just the ... [snip!] ... can guarantee that teen is not going to be running out around town all free willy without a care in the world. They will help.”

Listen to a crying baby isnt all that hard. You can see the girls getting mad at the adults that are yelling in their ears. They arent getting frustraited by the babies its the adults and because its them and the babies at the same time they "think" its both when in actuallity its not. Thats why you dont see them just handed a infant and left alone like with someone just watching and correcting what they do. Some babies may cry that much but most dont atleast not constantly like they show. You even see some girls brought on again later because they still think they can handle it.

I dont see helping out as a problem but being forced to constantly care for a child that isnt yours is wrong. I love one of my cousins to death but he was forced on me and his older brother because no one else could handle his ADHD and he wouldnt even try to listen to anyone else. It was neglect on his mothers part to pawn her job off on me and her oldest son. She was like a mom to me growing up so thats why it was both of us.

Its not the kids responsiblitiy to help you support them while they are a minor. Help keep the house clean and picked up yes but not to be your own personal child care provider. If you have a toddler and a teenager its not your teenagers responsibility to watch YOUR toddler. Your child is your responsibility not theirs. They shouldnt have to worry or care for your child. You laid in bed and made that child then you take care ofthem yourself. Its terrible how their teenage years have to be tied up taking care of a child they did not make. Whether they feel "hurt" by it or not still does not make it right. Why should a teenager have a care in the world if they didnt do anything to MAKE a care? If they took care of THEIR responsiblities and stayed out of trouble they shouldnt have a care in the world. Like I said occasionally is fine but regularly hell no.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ Listen to a crying baby isnt all that hard. You can see the girls getting mad at the adults that are ... [snip!] ... and stayed out of trouble they shouldnt have a care in the world. Like I said occasionally is fine but regularly hell no.”

You keep saying, "You made the kid, you take care of it." I'm sorry, but when a sibling/child is born not ALL of the work should be forced on any one parent. Like I said before, there are different circumstances and not all moms are lucky enough to sit at home all day with the TIME to take care of everybody. Different things work for different families. And if it takes a teenager looking after a sibling in order for the parent(s) to work, I still fail to see a problem. Stuff has to get done in order to live, not everybody has the option of being a sahm.

Listening to a crying baby isn't hard? Man.....I know when I hear a kid crying at the top of their lungs for long periods of time it will about drive me to a loony bin. But like I've said before, I've never actually seen, or ever heard of, a teenager that has cared for a child and still thinks they are ready to have their own, although there are probaby very few out there. So, oh well.  

Quoting usmcbaby!*32days*:“ You keep saying, "You made the kid, you take care of it." I'm sorry, but when a sibling/child is born ... [snip!] ... for a child and still thinks they are ready to have their own, although there are probaby very few out there. So, oh well.  ”

"I'm sorry, but when a sibling/child is born not ALL of the work should be forced on any one parent." You are right it should be on BOTH parents but if there is only one in the picture it still should NOT be put on the other children to pick up your slack. Like I said if you cant take care of your child yourself without pushing that responsibility onto your other children then you should not have them. A family that can should. It is wrong no matter how you put it to make your children your own personal full time babysitters. In no way is it right to force that responsiblity on a child. No not everyone has the choice to be a SAHM but if you cant get childcare for your child while you work without making your teenager basically a "teen parent" then you shouldnt have them. If you didnt have that teenager to pick up your slack then what? Parents should not rely on their kids to run the house.

No listening to a crying baby is not that hard. I have three and have heard endless crying at times when the only thing that upset me about it was I couldnt comfort them because the crying was due to colic, reflux, random illnesses, etc. I was a teen mom when I had my oldest at 17 and my son at 19. I didnt think it was NEARLY as hard as people made it out to be with crying and staying up all night. Yes, I did it on my own when my husband went to BMT and Tech School and deployment starting when my son was only 2 weeks old. I remember doing it on my own and running the house. If I couldnt have cared for my children then they wouldnt have been in my home. They would have been in a home that could. I remember saying a number of times when I was pregnant with my oldest that if we couldnt care for her properly that it wouldnt be the best thing for her to force her to live that life. As much as adoption would have broke my heart if it was best for her then thats what would have been done.

The teen girls that I went to school with and were pregnant were all from families of 1-2 kids. Not large families.

Quoting Mama to Lucas:“ The teen girls that I went to school with and were pregnant were all from families of 1-2 kids. Not large families.”

I wonder why. Maybe because they are already being forced to practically be teen parents at home. The minute those in large families leave the house they want to start making a large family of their own. Of course they wouldnt make them while they are living at home because they are already living that role. Instead of them making the choice to lay in bed they have to deal with someone elses choice to lay in bed. That does not make it right. They should not be forced in to that role no matter what.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ I wonder why. Maybe because they are already being forced to practically be teen parents at home. The ... [snip!] ... with someone elses choice to lay in bed. That does not make it right. They should not be forced in to that role no matter what.”

What the heck?? How in the world did you manage to draw that conclusion from what she said?

Now you're just making up stuff.  

Quoting usmcbaby!*32days*:“ What the heck?? How in the world did you manage to draw that conclusion from what she said? Now you're just making up stuff.  ”

I'm not making anything up. I have seen it myself. I have seen kids in large families forced to parent their siblings. I have seen those who come out looking to start their own large families immediately without taking time for themselves thinking it will be okay they can have a bunch of kids and those kids cant take care of each other. I have a few large immediate families inside my family and inside my friends families. Forcing a teenager to take care of their siblings on a regular basis is forcing them to act as a teen parent. They are a teenager forced to act as a parent and take responsiblityfor a younger sibling which is no different then forcing them to be a teen parent.

Your response had absolutely NOTHING to do with what I said. Do you realize that?
You're just talking out of your ass now.