re: Should there be a limit?

Quoting chicki-chicki:“ Does anybody oppose?”

I believe the issue was the massive leap in logic that large families lead to teen pregnancy, then the jumbled explaination.
In fact, most people were saying that they would never force their children to watch their other children 24/7, they very idea is ludicrous. Most of us with OLDER children, where saying they want to help out. She was saying they shouldn't be forced or expected to. Well with the premise that we aren't slave drivers, the children have given the impression that they want to help out, where to you draw the line. Do I ask my child permission if now is a good time for you to help me? Can I interupt your busy schedule of watching tv, while I'm running around the house cleaning and cooking your dinner, for you to take a second to keep the toddler entertained....no, you'd rather not? You are having a bad day? You want to chill in front of the tv and relax? Oh...okay, I wouldn't want to force you.
This is where the parents with teens and tweens are laughing. There was such a fine line being drawn. If the child is notified ahead of time, if the child is rewarded, if the child is paid. Really?
Good for Duggars, it works for them. Wouldn't work for me, but I feel it is their right to choose. But my children aren't raising my other children, I very much am in charge in my house and they very much help out and they still are kids. It actually can work.
Sorry, some parents suck. I know some do, some of us have to raise other people's kids because some people are clueless on how to be parents. But that doesn't mean it always sucks and it never works.
And large families do not equal teen pregnancy!!!! (unless you believe Warren Jepps is the prophet, in that case what are you doing on the internet?)

Do I ask my child permission if now is a good time for you to help me? Can I interupt your busy schedule of watching tv, while I'm running around the house cleaning and cooking your dinner, for you to take a second to keep the toddler entertained....no, you'd rather not? You are having a bad day? You want to chill in front of the tv and relax? Oh...okay, I wouldn't want to force you.

What about a chores? A list of things that your older child is responsible for...That would be an easy solution...I understand the fact of "helping out" but how far does this "helping out" go...Is it daily? Is it hourly? Are the children scolded "if" they did not want to help out with their siblings? And why? And what ages are we talking about when we say "the older kids"? What would you do if you only had one or two children? Who would "help out" then?
The thing is you are the parent, it is ALL your responsibility not the childrens, pointblank...There is no reason to get angry at a child if he/she does not want to help out..Just b/c you are frustrated with the situation that you caused does not mean it should be taken out on the child nor should the child be punished or feel guilty in any way for it (about it)...Now if the child is just plain stubborn and never wants to contribute, that is a different story...

She was saying they shouldn't be forced or expected to.

I agree..They shouldn't...Expectations in that norm (acting as an adult) is alot of pressure on a child...I believe children should be allowed to be children but have responsiblities like having a hamster or doing house chores...children responsibilty, not adult responsibility....

Quoting chicki-chicki:“ Do I ask my child permission if now is a good time for you to help me? Can I interupt your busy schedule ... [snip!] ... any way for it (about it)...Now if the child is just plain stubborn and never wants to contribute, that is a different story...”

I have actually previous stated that I have schedules for my kids. BUT people have argued that kids shouldn't have schedules. I was "expecting things from them" ie the Duggars has schedules.
Honestly, I am raising 3 kids that had a crap mom. They have been in counseling for several years for it. For awhile there they expected a perfect little mommy to make up for everything horrible and bad that their mom did. This little world of rainbows and sunshine. Where they never got in trouble, I did everything right, they did have to do anything they didn't want and everyone skipped into happy land....my what wonderful adults they would turn into.....
It doesn't exist. Plain out doesn't exist. There is no supermom. And to put every little thing on the mom in beyond unreal. I have 6 kids. 3 of them have special needs. They had a mom the has gone to court for emotional maltreatment, I have raised them for over 6 years. I know about neglect. I know about kids expecting to raise other kids. Every summer I have to reprogram my teen to be a teen again and act normal. I use counselors. Several counselors. I deal with bipolar, ADHD, Asperger's Syndrome, and learning disabilities....and these aren't my kids by blood. And it is sad and very horrible that they went through all of this. But if they don't overcome their past, it will hold them back from their potential for the rest of their lives.
Then I have my children, one of which is a toddler and then my surprise baby. (wasn't supposed to have anymore) I have been parenting for almost 10 years now, several of those years with at least 2 counselors, if not more helping out.
Ladies, the way you are splitting hairs on certain things with kids, it is going to drive you bonkers when your kids get older. Your family is a unit. It is a group of people who love each other, who work together as family. The over-analyzation here is un-real.
If I need help, I don't yell at my kids and react in anger. It makes me sad for you that you would immediately jump to that. I actually joke and laugh with my kids a lot. Ask several of the ladies on this site who have seen me first hand. We communicate. We talk. We laugh. We give. We take. We are there for each other.
Why are you guys assuming we are giving our kids more than they can handle? Both of you have said your situations were the extremes. Do you not think that maybe there is a different way? And none of us are saying we expect our kids to act like adults. My gosh!!!!! We are teaching them to grow into adults as they slowly get older!

And again, I believe I have repeated this repeatedly....the issue that everyone was laughing at. Teen pregnacy being caused by large families and the explaination of why.

I never said "YOU"....I am not personally asking YOU these questions about your situation..It's not just about you and I would never question your parenting skills....You seem to be a great mother who is doing and trying your best to accomodate your families needs....But there are many families out there where that is not the case..I am speaking about them..I am speaking of the teenage girls who have had 3 kids and have not even hit 21 yet...
A family in my eyes is not a "unit" like in the army but a team...Everybody needs to play their role in order for all to be happy and to win at the end of the day....

Quoting chicki-chicki:“ I never said "YOU"....I am not personally asking YOU these questions about your situation..It's not just ... [snip!] ... in the army but a team...Everybody needs to play their role in order for all to be happy and to win at the end of the day....”

Sorry, from your questions I took it that way, I apologize if I jumped the gun. Thank you.
And I pretty much...um yeah I agree with all of what you just said.

Quoting Leendah:“ Sorry, from your questions I took it that way, I apologize if I jumped the gun. Thank you. And I pretty much...um yeah I agree with all of what you just said.”

All good, we all do that sometimes...Even though I don't know you, I have to say I am proud of you. You are an inspiration!