re: Should there be a limit?

Quoting Mama to Lucas:“ Your response had absolutely NOTHING to do with what I said. Do you realize that? You're just talking out of your ass now.”

Really?!?! Actually it did. They may not be as likley to become a teen parent when they are already forced to be one at home with their siblings. I'm not the one talking out of my ass. I know what I am talking about.

How many teen parents want to run out and have another one? Not very many. Well these kids are already forced to act as a teen parent it just not their child its their parents children they are forced to take care of.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ Really?!?! Actually it did. They may not be as likley to become a teen parent when they are already ... [snip!] ... are already forced to act as a teen parent it just not their child its their parents children they are forced to take care of.”

What the hell? So you're changing your opinion/story now?
You said teens for larger families were more likely to get pregnant young because they're parents don't pay attention to them. Now they are more likely to NOT get pregnant because they already watch their siblings?
You need to stop backtracking.

Quoting Mama to Lucas:“ What the hell? So you're changing your opinion/story now? You said teens for larger families were ... [snip!] ... them. Now they are more likely to NOT get pregnant because they already watch their siblings? You need to stop backtracking.”

They are the ones more likely to "want" children of their own. Sorry if I worded it wrong before but I'm not changing my opinion or story. No one has even answered my question from before. How many of these 13 and 14 yr old girls that came on here saying they wanted a baby so bad and were ttc said they knew they could handle it because they took care of their borthers, sisters, or cousins??? They are already being teen parents if they are forced to act as a parent to their siblings.

So what about teens that babysit other peoples kids? They don't automatically want kids because they think they can handle it.

Most teens don't want kids because they babysit and see how kids act. The girls that come here are a select few of the actual teen population.

Quoting Mama to Lucas:“ So what about teens that babysit other peoples kids? They don't automatically want kids because they ... [snip!] ... want kids because they babysit and see how kids act. The girls that come here are a select few of the actual teen population.”

They are a select few of the entire teen population BUT they do represent the attitude most of the teens who want kids so bad have. Most of the teens and preteens that wantbabies have babysat and that what gave them the attitude "this isnt so hard I can do it". You see them say it ALL the time on the talk shows. If you know them you hear it in person. If you have friends of friends you hear about it. They all get this clouded view in their head that babies are easy 24/7 and they can handle it and they are so cute they want one of their own.

Usually those who had a "job" to babysit are more responsible then those who are not doing it as a job and more like a chore. Normally Those who babysit actually CARE more about what they are doing because if they do bad they dont get paid anymore and lose the job while doing it as a chore doesnt matter so much. You screw up you get grounded whatever who cares. Thats not saying they dont love their siblings or cousins but that is not their responsibility like it is to someone who has it as a job.

You want to pay (be it money or something else)your kid to babysit thats fine because by making it their "job" it is their responsibility and right fully so. Making them your own free child care provider and putting your child on them as a "chore" is not right.

Hehe...so now the argument is that large families cause teen pregnancy. Well damn. What have I done?
I have a son who is almost 15 and he has been suspciously playing with my 3 year old an awful lot. Hmmmmmm......I wonder?
And perhaps I need to get my 13 yr old on birth contol. She is constantly begging to babysit the toddler and the baby. Maybe she is crying out her desire to start her own family and I was just thinking she loved them. How blind have I been? How blind? I am so ashamed of my laziness. At to think, for a brief moment, we actually contemplated adopting one more or fostering. How selfish can we be? Damn us. Damn us to hell.
Time to enroll in Love and Logic again. Crap.

Quoting Leendah:“ Hehe...so now the argument is that large families cause teen pregnancy. Well damn. What have I done? ... [snip!] ... adopting one more or fostering. How selfish can we be? Damn us. Damn us to hell. Time to enroll in Love and Logic again. Crap.”

Teen Pregnancy is not caused by large familes but forcing a child to act as a teen parent is not helping the issue. Forcing the responsibility of parenting on a teen is wrong when it wasnt them who made that child so it should not be their problem/"responsibility".

You can get pissy and defensive all you want but this is my opinion and I have a right to voice it. If your 13 yr old starts sayig "I want a baby of my own now" and shows acting upon that the birth control would be a good thing as it would be for any 13 yr old doing that. 13 yr olds can be responsible enough to babysit (although thats not ALWAYS the case) but thats ASKING to do it. That is not FORCING it on them.

EDIT: Its not helping in theissuebecause in a sense you had the child for them and in the end they still came out as a teen parent.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ They are a select few of the entire teen population BUT they do represent the attitude most of the ... [snip!] ... and right fully so. Making them your own free child care provider and putting your child on them as a "chore" is not right.”

So if they were paid....then they wouldn't want to get pregnant?


I truly, truly, truly cannot follow your train of reasoning to save my life. And what teens and preteens do you know that have done this? I have 3 in my house that have friend that come over all the time, I have several cousins, my brother just left his teen years, my husband and I work with teens in our church; in fact, in my church large, to very large families are quite common. So, I have been somewhat familiar lately with teens and tweens. I do not know of what you speak!!!!! Who are these kids???? I have not met them. But I have only lived in Utah, Arizona and Kansas the last several years, maybe they are in different states. I could be wrong.
I mean I know most teens in general feel like "parents just don't understand" (word up Will Smith) and that they are ignored. That is normal. But I really am not getting the conclusion you have come up with.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ Teen Pregnancy is not caused by large familes but forcing a child to act as a teen parent is not ... [snip!] ... Its not helping in theissuebecause in a sense you had the child for them and in the end they still came out as a teen parent.”

btw, wasn't being pissy and defensive, I was being sarcastic and laughing. It takes a lot to get me pissy. This I find terribly amusing.

Quoting Leendah:“ So if they were paid....then they wouldn't want to get pregnant? I truly, truly, truly cannot follow ... [snip!] ... up Will Smith) and that they are ignored. That is normal. But I really am not getting the conclusion you have come up with.”

You cant really say if they will or not but if they have a "job" they are more responsible about the issues at hand and generally think through it more clearly.

Have you ever visited a Teen Parent school?? I have, a few actuallyand I have talked to numerous teens who wanted and succeeded in having a baby of their own. I even seen a 11 yr old with a baby and one on the way. Its sad how they end up that way.

Quoting Leendah:“ btw, wasn't being pissy and defensive, I was being sarcastic and laughing. It takes a lot to get me pissy. This I find terribly amusing.”

Atleast this is one debate thats on the 11th page and still close to the topic started with. It may not be about a "limit" as we all agreed that was wrong but its still about large families.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ You cant really say if they will or not but if they have a "job" they are more responsible about the ... [snip!] ... in having a baby of their own. I even seen a 11 yr old with a baby and one on the way. Its sad how they end up that way.”

Yes, several. I also have a uncle that works with juvenile deliquents and a brother. I haven't met one, kid you not, one, from a large family, that had a baby because her parents made her watch the kids, so she thought she could handle it.

Quoting Leendah:“ Yes, several. I also have a uncle that works with juvenile deliquents and a brother. I haven't met one, ... [snip!] ... not, one, from a large family, that had a baby because her parents made her watch the kids, so she thought she could handle it.”

Those already are basically teen parents at home but they are a lot more likely to start making huge families the minute they leave home or right when they are in the process of leaving. Difference is that its not their baby its their parents when they are at home so they still act like teen parents. How many of those girls who actually "tried" said it was because they could handle it and they watched brothers or sisters or cousins? Teen Parents are not juvenile deliquents. Some do have good reasons for having a baby young, some just made a mistake and created a miracle, others made a bad choice based on a dream.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ Those already are basically teen parents at home but they are a lot more likely to start making huge ... [snip!] ... reasons for having a baby young, some just made a mistake and created a miracle, others made a bad choice based on a dream.”

Well honestly, it has gotten to the point where no matter what is said, you have something to one up them with. You obviously have a lot more life experience than I have.
I do have teens and tweens. I do have a moderately large family that we have considered adding to. I am a Mormon from Utah, where next to Catholics, we are known for being baby making factories, so I am fairly familiar with large families. I do come from a diverse family and blended family. My husband and I have worked in the community and in our church with youth groups for several years.
I don't believe you can tell another family how to run their family as long as there isn't abuse, neglect and they are being finacially responsible for the children's needs. I can understand a lot of the other posters concerns. I truly don't understand your point of large families contributing to teen pregnancy. I have not seen what you have. Ever. Maybe I just need to get out more. But I am not going to continue to one up you. I know what I have done in my life and what I have seen. I'm not going to run through it anymore. I just flat out have not seen it. Maybe I have been sheltered. Maybe I am inexperienced and haven't lived enough. Maybe it just isn't in the areas I have lived in. No idea. But Good Luck proving your point to others.

Quoting Leendah:“ have people volunteered at elementaries lately and have seen what some of our sweet ole "normal" families ... [snip!] ... adjusted to me. A lot better than than the kids I see being a room mother at the schools or strolling through wal-mart.....”

I love you Linda. You just read my mind.