The Father's Family

So there is no hiding that I really messed up this time around but I am not ashamed.

I was dating baby-in-oven's father for a month when we found out we were pregnant. I hadn't met his family, except his sister her boyfriend and a few cousins at a bon fire. When I found out he told his sister and she was surprised but excited as she is also pregnant. (she is due in august)

Eventually his sister and I went out when him & I hit a rough patch because I don't want this baby cut off from her dad's side of the family & neither do I. After her & I went out to breakfast things were still weird because she still didn't really know me. Now him & I are completely over, he is in denial of this baby being his ( i am getting a DNA test when she is here ) and wants nothing to do with the pregnancy. Well I have his sister as a friend on facebook and her & I talk here & there but its normal to go a few months without speaking. Honestly I think we have no idea what to say to each other, you know? When I post ultrasound pictures she will comment and say "aww look at my beautiful niece" never being in denial & almost accepting the child as apart of her family. I just wish I could interact more. With my oldest daughter her dads side of the family was so warm & welcoming they called me all the time asking how the baby is when they can see me, they bought stuff to prepare etc. I know every family is different & in this case its such a rare situation where there is a baby so soon. Anyway, point is I have never met his mother never heard from his mother nothing. I told his sister that I am interested in talking to her and asking her if she is interested in being in the babies life etc and his sister never got back to me on it and I don't want to be pushy as I still have a ways to go & I figure when she is here & the DNA test is done maybe then it will be better. I just don't want anyone to miss anything and regret never being there. I also am kind of wanting to know if I should even bother with some things like inviting them to the baby shower, even if it is just his sisters.

I don't know what to do, if i should try reaching out again or if i should just let it go and wait until she is here. I just feel when she is here I am going to be so busy with other things that his family wont be on my mind since they weren't around the whole time.

If I should try reaching out again what do I say (*to his mom*) should I write a letter or something idk very confusing..

I come from a VERY close family (my moms side) everyone is there for each other its very close I guess this is why I want it so bad.
TIA

Aw Ashley this breaks my heart  
Good to see that you are trying though! Me personally, I think youre a big girl, you should deal with the mom directly.

id invite them to the baby shower to be nice and wouldn't want them to get upset for not inviting them since the sister calls the baby her neice .

Leave them be until you can prove paternity to them. I would not try and contact them until baby is born unless they prove to want to be involved now. They are his family. If they miss out on things like the baby shower its their loss and those types of things can always be made up later.

Quoting mama aℓex ♡+3:" Aw Ashley this breaks my heart   Good to see that you are trying though! Me personally, I think youre a big girl, you should deal with the mom directly."

i know =/

i wish i could go to her directly if i could i totally would but I don't know her name, her address, her number , nothing i have nothing. It would all have to be done through his sister.

Quoting Emily Fried:" id invite them to the baby shower to be nice and wouldn't want them to get upset for not inviting them since the sister calls the baby her neice ."

That's what I am thinking, at least send and invite and if they come they come if not then oh well nothing much i can do.

Quoting ♥ darah ♥:" Leave them be until you can prove paternity to them. I would not try and contact them until baby is ... [snip!] ... family. If they miss out on things like the baby shower its their loss and those types of things can always be made up later."

You're right. I just get so .. i dont even know a good word for it but I just wish so bad that they would want to be involved. Especially since he doesn't want to be, I don't want her cut out of that. I just have to realize I can't control their feelings.

Leave them be until paternity is established. Hopefully they'll come around then.

Quoting Miss Ashley +2:" That's what I am thinking, at least send and invite and if they come they come if not then oh well nothing much i can do. "

Exactly! Atleast you tryed and thats all that matters so when you prove that baby is his they cant try and use the not invited to the baby shower excuse.
And just shows that your atleast trying to make things right even if the father is in denial.

I have been trying for years to keep Z's dad's family involved. Even when we were good and fine, they were just... not close. They don't see each other regularly. The only times they wanted to see LO was when the WHOLE family was getting together for Easter or Thanksgiving. I gave up. I send invites to her birthday, they will be invited to visit this baby when it's born, but I can't do anything else.

I would just send the invites and leave it at that. Let them come to you.

I would invite them all to the shower through his sister. She clearly accepts the baby as a part of her family! And if they don't want to come? Their loss, at least you know YOU tried.

And you know I have experience with this first hand. You do what's right so you don't live in regret. If they do? That's their issue.

You are all 100% right.
I guess it's just felt so weird because of the whole situation. So thats what I am going to do, if i have a shower lol. But I am just going to at least try & keep them involved, do my part. Like when I find out when I am having the baby etc. Anything I find out related to the baby I will let them know and what they do with the info is their decision.

I just need to take a step back & stop stressing them.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Miss Ashley +2:</b>" You are all 100% right. I guess it's just felt so weird because of the whole situation. So thats what ... [snip!] ... let them know and what they do with the info is their decision. I just need to take a step back & stop stressing them. "</blockquote>




Exactly  

Quoting mama erica.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Miss Ashley +2:</b>" You are all 100% right. I guess it's just ... [snip!] ... the info is their decision. I just need to take a step back & stop stressing them. "</blockquote> Exactly  "

and you --------- stop taking pictures at midnight looking pretty when you know all the rest of the mommies in the world are not looking pretty at midnight you're making us look bad -___-

<blockquote><b>Quoting Miss Ashley +2:</b>" and you --------- stop taking pictures at midnight looking pretty when you know all the rest of the mommies in the world are not looking pretty at midnight you're making us look bad -___- "</blockquote>




Wah I didn't mean too :X

Gigi and I will be up all night so I figured I would snap a pic   it's probably just the lighting anyway