The What Ifs D&D

Do you ever wonder about the "what if's"??

If I hadn't had Novali my life would have been so different. I know I wouldn't be with SO, I don't even know if I'd still be in Guatemala... Sometimes I think about that guy I would have dated if I didn't have any kids... he wasn't the type of guy you date when you have a family (it took a lot of self control not to accept his romantic advances, we were FWBs though and I really do think I was in love with him)! Sometimes I wonder if I would have traveled the world a bit more. Sometimes, I just wonder.

Now, I love my life. I have a career that I wouldn't have pursued if it weren't for being a mother (I would have taught off and on when I needed money), I have a wonderful relationship that I wouldn't have had if it weren't for her I would have gotten into more and more "fun" relationships and not thought about stability or responsible men... and believe me, nothing beats having my spawn.. she is wonderful!

but still I wonder...


Do you ever wonder, more than just a passing thought, of what your life would be like if you had made a different choice? Not just having kids but maybe a different job choice or if you had joined the circus like you wanted to... have you ever spent more than one hour a week, say, day dreaming about how different your life could have been??

I do wonder. I gave up a chance with a lawyer to stay with Dh (when we were still dating). We weren't planning on having LO so soon in our marriage and wanted to vacation a lot more, and now that's just not possible. Over-all I'm happy, but i do think about this quite often, even though i know it won't change anything.

I would be dead or in prison.

I think about this all the time. Especially when I see people I went to grade school with and what they are doing with their lives now.

My WHOLE entire life could have been so different if I had just changed ONE decision I made. I'd probably be graduated from a nice university, have a decent career or working my way through law/med school, and probably dating the guy that my mind always goes back to.

Quoting Waiting for you ❤:" I would be dead or in prison."

Over which choice? I don't just mean having a kid... do you ever wonder if you had chosen different friends or something like that...?

I wonder what would have happened. I got pregnant with DS my junior year of college. Right now I would be going into my 4th year of a doctorate program (if I'd stuck with my original plan). I couldn't handle grad school as a single mom though, so I never even took my GRE.

I'm married now, but my chances of getting into a doctorate program are pretty much nil after waiting 3 years. They are really competitive.

Sometimes I also wonder what would have happened if I hadn't given up my full ride to Ole Miss to stay close to a boy that broke up with me before the school year ever started. I was supposed to be pre-law. I wonder if I'd have gone all the way to law school. I'd never have met DH (we met at the college I ended up going to).

I wonder sometimes, if my my DH would have stayed together? Would we have gotten married if no children were involved? I probably would have moved back up north to be with my family, or maybe to FL to be with my best friend and be roommates with her. There are a lot of what ifs but at the same time, I know my husband and my kids saved my life. Because of my daughters, I took school more seriously, my husband was there for me when literally no one else was.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" I think about this all the time. Especially when I see people I went to grade school with and what they ... [snip!] ... have a decent career or working my way through law/med school, and probably dating the guy that my mind always goes back to."

So you would have gone to school and had a more stable life with your choice... I would have thrown stability the wind! haha I wonder what my "carefree" life would have been like.

I don't. That's why I waited so long to start a family, I never wanted there to the what if's.

Quoting Mommeee ™:" I wonder sometimes, if my my DH would have stayed together? Would we have gotten married if no children ... [snip!] ... my life. Because of my daughters, I took school more seriously, my husband was there for me when literally no one else was. "

Yeah, that's how I see it too... my life is better because of the choices I've made after having Novali... but I see these tourists come down, the single ones, and it makes me wonder.

Quoting A❤T=P[Bun in th Ov:" I don't. That's why I waited so long to start a family, I never wanted there to the what if's."

You're smarter than most!!

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" You're smarter than most!! "

I grew up in a family where teen pregnancy and high school drop outs were the norm. I never wanted that for my life, I knew there had to be something more. I am the only female to not have a child before 20 (except my brilliant prodigy neice who just turned 20) and the only college graduate. I am the "black " sheep.

Constantly I think of what if's, I have a few regrets in my life that I day dream about the possibility I could change.What if my mom hadn't been a drug addict, she wouldn't have married that guy and got him into tweaking and he wouldn't have burned the house down, I wouldn't have been homeless, and I would probably trust people a lot more. But than again it did teach me to work hard and to give my children everything I never had.

What if I had realized that my boyfriend was an abusive jerk, maybe than I wouldn't have lost the baby, and I would have a 5 year old. But than maybe my hubby and I wouldn't have ended up together. Because he would have never driven 1200 miles to save me from that abusive jerk.

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" So you would have gone to school and had a more stable life with your choice... I would have thrown stability the wind! haha I wonder what my "carefree" life would have been like."

Ya know, I probably would have been stable so that I could do that later on. I watched my dad be stable and do whatever he wanted, and my mom goes with the flow. She struggles and he doesn't.

If I had made the choice to not own the guilt my dad put on me, yes I would be somewhere completely different. Instead, I let it get to me, started cutting, dropped out of school, went to cosmetology school, became an addict, went to rehab, met SO and had my kid. Now I'm trying to play catchup at 23 to get my degree while we live with my mom. Not what I intended. I'd love to have the other life, with this kid.

Quoting A❤T=P[Bun in th Ov:" I grew up in a family where teen pregnancy and high school drop outs were the norm. I never wanted that ... [snip!] ... child before 20 (except my brilliant prodigy neice who just turned 20) and the only college graduate. I am the "black " sheep."

Literally every female in my family had their first child between 19 and 22. I was the oldest in a long time at 21.5. But we all went to college (my sister is still in school).