In shock over this.

Picture yourself a man, in a relationship with someone and you find out she writes the below stuff about your child:


Without an entire history here's the story. My boyfriend has 3 kids. For some reason, I cannot stand to be around the youngest one, an 8 year old girl. I have even banned her from my apartment. Everything she does annoys me. I promise that I have tried and tried with her. I take her places, get her things, and occasionally let her stay. She will hug on me and I hug her back. I don't hate her but I just cannot stand to be around her. When I let boyfriend know why (she's spoiled, whiney, and aggrivating with the constant commentating of every.single.thing that happens) he compares that to my 2 year old boy. How is that even comparable? He's ridiculous. Also, she is his favorite kid, which is totally not fair. His other kids know it though. I don't know, I just feel like she is disgusting and evil and I want her to go away.

I promise I'm not evil, I don't generally dislike people, and I can't wrap my head around why I feel this way about this girl. I get along with the other two kids fine, the 13 year old girl the best and you would expect that to be unlikely.

What's wrong with me? I would not tolerate my partner feeling that way about my kids. I'm so conflicted here. ________________________________________________________________
Well that kind of goes into the history that I wasn't going to get into. And not allowing her over is partly her dad's fault and its not entirely against her. You see, I wanted us to be a family and we were Google to move in and she was always included in that plan but her father is mmaking it impossible. I guess maybe some of my dislike from her is actually due to her dad and our disagreements.

I'm actually wanting some advice on what I can do myself to ease these feelings of dislike towards her. Is there any advice for that?
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Well ill give some back story. He's married, and playing around getting a divorce. He pays the wife child support for the kids that she doesn't keep. He's been staying with me for a year and has not once paid any bill. I struggle. That is where the keeping her out of my house comes into play. Its actually an issue with him and we are actually on edge in our relationship due to this.

However, he will not discipline her when she acts up in my home in front of my impressionable 2.5 year old. I wont discipline her because I don't feel that its my right to do so.

I'm not asking for acceptance because I feel horrible that I can't get past this, but I'm also not looking for judgement. Advice or experiences would be great and are appreciated. ________________________________________________________________

So what would you do if you were a guy and your partner was saying stuff like that about your child??????

I would probably leave her. It's not like not getting along with an adult child you never see... it's a poor little kid who will need her dad for AT LEAST another decade.

I would end that relationship so fast her head would spin

I read the first paragraph and felt myself boiling inside. I won't even go there. People make me sick. I hate people that talk smurf about innocent kids

I would leave her for sure

I wouldn't be around anymore. My kid doesn't deserve to be around someone who finds her disgusting and is annoyed by her every move, and I wouldn't tolerate that smurf.

In a way, it sounds like she doesn't like her b/c that's the one he's closest with and maybe b/c he lets her get her way all the time. I would be hurt if I seen my GF writing stuff like that about my daughter, but then I think I'd try to see what *I'm* doing that she's saying is making her feel like that. It sounds like she feels bad for being like that and is trying not to feel that way about the kid, but then it comes of ass she doesn't like the fact that the little girl is closest to the dad.

Quoting FroggysMommy:" Picture yourself a man, in a relationship with someone and you find out she writes the below stuff about ... [snip!] ... So what would you do if you were a guy and your partner was saying stuff like that about your child??????"

Leave her. Simple. No need to talk about. Nothing can unring that bell. It's done. It's over.

I'd flip my smurf! Her ass would be single again. That's just not right. I understand she feels bad about it but it's still wrong.

Quoting yo gabby gabby:" I would end that relationship so fast her head would spin"

 

I think she's jealous of the 8 tr old because she's his favorite and thats where her feelings are coming from that being said I would end the relationship because that's pretty sick

Pretty messed up!!

I'd leave that bitch

That little girl is part of her dad. You can not love someone with out loving every part of them. There may be parts that we dislike.. but a child?.. Never. Do you get annoyed at times?... yes. Do you fight with your SO?.. everyone does.
The fact that she is immature enough to take their fight out on his daughter.. tells me that she is not mature enough for kids or a real relationship.
There were times my SOs ex would physically harm me.. she was young and now that she has grown up we are really close. No matter what went on between her and I.. I have never stopped loving and accepting his daughter as a part of our lives. Just the way he loves and accepts mine. Being in a relationship with someone is growing a family together and uniting a bond of love and trust for life. I would never be able to trust her if I ever read something like this that she wrote. If I cant trust her than there will never be any real bond there.

I would leave her.

But, I don't think she's an awful person or anything. It's not like she's abusing the child or anything, she just thinks the kid is annoying and doesn't want to be around her. She just can't be in a relationship with this guy because that's his daughter. Hopefully she'll realize that soon.