Forums > The Drama CornerPage 1 <> 32by: kthx.

re: Oh hai. Callout.

posted 8th Jul '12
Quoting kravenscookiejar:" I feel the same way, when it's the very young. It seems like most people are only concerned about ... [snip!] ... something that I have desire to experience. My thoughts on sex are apparently quite strange, judging by what I see others say."

Meh, I lost my virginity to my second boyfriend after we had been together for 6 months. We ended up together for 3 years.

We all know that unless we move to a desert island or lock our kids in their bedroom, we won't be able to stop them from having sex if they choose to. Hence I am educating the bejeezus out of them on the topic, so that hopefully, when they are confronted with the choice, they can make careful and educated decisions, with all of the facts at their disposal.
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I have 2 kids & live in Ontario
posted 8th Jul '12
Quoting IMHO:" Meh, I lost my virginity to my second boyfriend after we had been together for 6 months. We ended up ... [snip!] ... they are confronted with the choice, they can make careful and educated decisions, with all of the facts at their disposal."

I think you may have mistaken my meaning.

I don't care how old people were when they lost their virginity. Or who it was to, or what their reason was. I fully expect my boys, given the way society is currently, to lose their virginity pretty early. Steve was 13 when he lost his. They will be very well educated on sex and pregnancy/STD prevention.

I was saying that MY feelings about sex make me feel abnormal, given the popular opinion. I've never cared what anyone else did, there's no judgement here. It just feels shockingly young to me because of my own experiences. I never felt ready at that age, despite much pressure to be ready by then-boyfriends.

I've noticed the consensus here (and elsewhere) is that midteens is perfectly normal for sex, and mid-20s is perfectly acceptable for TTC. I don't fit that profile at all, and therefore feel quite abnormal. I also seem to be boxed in with prudes and/or the slow-witted, of which I'm neither, but that part doesn't bother me.
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I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Surprise, Arizona
posted 8th Jul '12
Quoting kravenscookiejar:" I feel the same way, when it's the very young. It seems like most people are only concerned about ... [snip!] ... something that I have desire to experience. My thoughts on sex are apparently quite strange, judging by what I see others say."

Yeah. I feel really abnormal 'cause I never even thought of sex until I was 18. Maybe it was something my parents did that parents now aren't doing, but when I was in school, well, that's what was important. Obviously I wanted friends and to date, but school was priority...
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I have 2 kids & live in Columbus, Ohio
posted 8th Jul '12
Quoting Squeekerz:" Yeah. I feel really abnormal 'cause I never even thought of sex until I was 18. Maybe it was something ... [snip!] ... but when I was in school, well, that's what was important. Obviously I wanted friends and to date, but school was priority..."

I thought about sex, just never felt right for me. It wasn't until I actually fell in love that it finally clicked and everything just... felt right. It was never to do with any kind of moral or religious stuff, just how I'm wired, I suppose.

I loved learning and spent a lot of time with my nose in books. I was told that I wasn't normal and I needed to go to clubs and such. My parents certainly never encouraged me to study. My mother encouraged me to party, because that's what she'd done. She seemed embarrassed to have a nerdy child.

So I can't lay it at the feet of parents. If I'd turned out the way my parents wanted, I'd be a very different person and not in a good way.
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I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Surprise, Arizona
posted 8th Jul '12
Quoting kravenscookiejar:" I thought about sex, just never felt right for me. It wasn't until I actually fell in love that it finally ... [snip!] ... it at the feet of parents. If I'd turned out the way my parents wanted, I'd be a very different person and not in a good way."

It's hard to say. It's not because I was nerdy that I wanted to do well in school. It had been engraved into my mind that my mother expected good grades in school, and that I would be punished if I got below a C. I'm sure my social anxiety and awkwardness helped keep me focused on school though.

I can honestly say that sex was the furthest thing from my mind ever. Maybe I just lacked those raging hormones that most teenagers have. I didn't become really interested until my 20s.   I'm sure THAT is abnormal though.
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I have 2 kids & live in Columbus, Ohio
posted 8th Jul '12
Quoting kravenscookiejar:" I think you may have mistaken my meaning. I don't care how old people were when they lost their virginity. ... [snip!] ... abnormal. I also seem to be boxed in with prudes and/or the slow-witted, of which I'm neither, but that part doesn't bother me."

I understood you, honey! I was just doing the usual, narcissistic thing I do and making it about me, lol!

There's no right or wrong age to have sex, provided both parties are ready for it and with the right partner, (one who cares about them.) Some people are ready young, some aren't.
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I have 2 kids & live in Ontario
posted 8th Jul '12
Quoting IMHO:" I understood you, honey! I was just doing the usual, narcissistic thing I do and making it about me, ... [snip!] ... both parties are ready for it and with the right partner, (one who cares about them.) Some people are ready young, some aren't."

Okay, good! I didn't want to come across like I was condemning people for having sex at that age.

I'm rather awkward at trying to explain myself at times.  
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I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Surprise, Arizona
posted 8th Jul '12
Quoting kravenscookiejar:" Okay, good! I didn't want to come across like I was condemning people for having sex at that age. I'm rather awkward at trying to explain myself at times.  "


 
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I have 2 kids & live in Ontario
posted 8th Jul '12
Quoting Bonnie Beaver:" I didn't want a child that young. Neither did Kels. And I'm sure there are a lot of others that didn't. ... [snip!] ... statement you're insisting that all women that young want a child, just some don't follow through with it. As I said; SOME do. "

            

Couldn't agree more.

Thank god, I thought I was crazy for not wanting a kid as soon as I graduated.
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account removed
posted 8th Jul '12
Quoting **milfshake**:"              Couldn't agree more. Thank god, I thought I was crazy for not wanting a kid as soon as I graduated."


  Nope. You weren't.
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I have 2 kids & live in Kingsport, Tennessee
posted 9th Jul '12
Quoting **milfshake**:" Although little research has been done into the socioeconomic characteristics of teen girls who desire ... [snip!] ... seem like your best option." http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20040723/many-teens-want-to-have-babies interesting article."

Wasn't true for me. I was going to college... was IN college while TTC. So... interesting article, but not valid in all cases.
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I'm TTC since November '12, have 2 angel babies & live in Cleves, Ohio
posted 9th Jul '12
Quoting kthx.:" Wasn't true for me. I was going to college... was IN college while TTC. So... interesting article, but not valid in all cases."

Of course it isn't valid in all cases, LMFAO.

 

But honestly I couldn't find anything that said due to hormones, its normal for girls to want to have babies when they're teens/ young adults. So if you could point me in the direction of where you read that, I'd like to read it.
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posted 9th Jul '12
Quoting **milfshake**:" Of course it isn't valid in all cases, LMFAO.   But honestly I couldn't find anything that said ... [snip!] ... babies when they're teens/ young adults. So if you could point me in the direction of where you read that, I'd like to read it."

I'm not about to research and find links for you -- not worth my time. But it's common sense.
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I'm TTC since November '12, have 2 angel babies & live in Cleves, Ohio
posted 9th Jul '12
Quoting **milfshake**:" Of course it isn't valid in all cases, LMFAO.   But honestly I couldn't find anything that said ... [snip!] ... babies when they're teens/ young adults. So if you could point me in the direction of where you read that, I'd like to read it."

I wouldn't even think it was due to hormones at all, but probably some need for love and attention. Damn them teens.
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I have 1 child & live in Beverly Hills, California
posted 9th Jul '12
Quoting kthx.:" I'm not about to research and find links for you -- not worth my time. But it's common sense."
Its common sense...ROFL, obviously it isn't to anyone BUT you really...if you're going to spout off such bullsmurf, then have some concrete evidence to back it up with.

Hopefully you don't have the ability to reproduce...we have enough idiots in this world as it is.
quotesmurfs?
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