How to help your spouse

My husband is facing having, what I consider, 2 very invasive procedures, a colonoscopy, and possibly a endoscopy.

As the time gets closer to have them scheduled I see him getting more and more anxious and nervous about having them done. Today we were talking about it, and he flat out told me he refuses to have them done IF, and then ramble on a nonsensical list of things, one of which was " if you aren't allowed in the room with me." Which of course I can't because he'll be in the OR and I'm not allowed in there. But I told him I'd be waiting in recovery for him.

I told him that I understand he's nervous and upset ( I don't think anyone wants a camera shoved up their asses and down their throats) but they are something that need to be done to properly treat him.

I just need advice on how to be there for him, and push the fact that it's important that he gets them done for his own health. Please any advice is appreciated. They aren't an option at this point, they are a much needed thing.

And medication the doctor can give him for anxiety?

Is he a christian? I know that for my husband, I'd perhaps start to work on memorizing certain scriptures...I know it would be a huge comfort to him. But, I realize that if you guys aren't christians, that would just seem silly.

Quoting Shannonsfirst:" And medication the doctor can give him for anxiety? "

I don't know if they would give him medicine for anxiety just over these tests. When they are done he will completely placed under, and I'm assuming they might push valium before they do it to relax him.

I can ask tomorrow.

Quoting momma snell:" Is he a christian? I know that for my husband, I'd perhaps start to work on memorizing certain scriptures...I ... [snip!] ... know it would be a huge comfort to him. But, I realize that if you guys aren't christians, that would just seem silly. "

He's nondenominational, he believes in God, so maybe that might help ease him a little bit. Thanks.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" I don't know if they would give him medicine for anxiety just over these tests. When they are done ... [snip!] ... he will completely placed under, and I'm assuming they might push valium before they do it to relax him. I can ask tomorrow. "

Alot of us cancer parents get scripts just for scan times (kids get them every 3, 4 or 6 months). Ask...and see.

good luck! maybe less talk about it till its time will help  

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" He's nondenominational, he believes in God, so maybe that might help ease him a little bit. Thanks."

You're welcome. I hope it all goes smoothly. It's hard to see them like that.

is he worried about the tests? or possibly the results?? I have had them both done 2x and the worst part of it is the prep.. the stuff you have to drink for the colonoscopy .. the actual procedure I don't remember a thing!

Quoting Shannonsfirst:" Alot of us cancer parents get scripts just for scan times (kids get them every 3, 4 or 6 months). Ask...and see. good luck! maybe less talk about it till its time will help  "

I only brought it up today because it's a very real possibility it may happen within the next couple of days and I feel he should be prepared if they schedule it within the next couple of days. I guess I shouldn't harp on it, but I would hate for him to find out tomorrow he needs it done Friday and be totally blindsided. KWIM?

Thank you though for you advice, I will ask tomorrow  .

Quoting MommyDK:" is he worried about the tests? or possibly the results?? I have had them both done 2x and the worst part ... [snip!] ... part of it is the prep.. the stuff you have to drink for the colonoscopy .. the actual procedure I don't remember a thing!"

That's what I tried to tell him. My dad had one done and I remember him having to drink like a gallon of this chalky smurf or something like that 24 hours before it was done to clean him out, and he wasn't allowed to eat until after the procedure.

And I think it's a little bit of both. I think he'd rather live ignorant to what he has them find out the severity of it. KWIM?

Quoting momma snell:" You're welcome. I hope it all goes smoothly. It's hard to see them like that."

It is really hard to see him like that. He rarely shows fear and when he does it breaks my heart.

And thank you, I hope so too.  

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" That's what I tried to tell him. My dad had one done and I remember him having to drink like a gallon ... [snip!] ... And I think it's a little bit of both. I think he'd rather live ignorant to what he has them find out the severity of it. KWIM?"

Yes its this horrible lemon/lime drink that I think tastes like salt water.. I could have clear liquids the day before but nothing after midnight. I was afraid of the results but after figuring out what it was I can better take care of myself.. I guess just keep reassuring him that it will be ok. I hope everything turns out ok for you guys

Quoting MommyDK:" Yes its this horrible lemon/lime drink that I think tastes like salt water.. I could have clear liquids ... [snip!] ... better take care of myself.. I guess just keep reassuring him that it will be ok. I hope everything turns out ok for you guys"

Thank you  

Colby has had it done, it isnt that bad honestly. They do give you something to make you verrrrrry loopy lol, he was talking nonsense when I went to pick him up. I believe if hes anxious about it they can prescribe him valium to help him relax beforehand.