Mental Retardation

Do any of you have a child or siblings diagnosed with mental retardation? My brother was diagnosed being that with only an IQ of 51. I love him to death but sometimes when he is over here with my baby, he goes spastic. Any advice that may help with this? I really want him to be around my daughter but, I dont know if he acts the way he does.

Hi sorry this is OT but I thought this thread was going to be about n00bs  

Quoting Nicole B:“ Hi sorry this is OT but I thought this thread was going to be about n00bs  ”

lol....it could be too I guess, as long as I get advice that I need.

I had a sister that had hydro cephalus and spina bifida... she was severly disabled. She died when she was 4... I was 6.

My ex husband has a brother who has down syndrome...best guy ever

My younger brother is almost 18 and has a severe case of down syndrome. . . he is around my youngest sister (2 years-old), and my youngest brother (1 years-old) all the time. . . sometimes he gets into his moods where he is bothered by them but for the most part he is fine. . . at least when he keeps to his usual routine. There have been instances where he would play a little too rough with them but other than that he has caused them no harm. What do you mean when you say he goes spastic. . . what does he do?

Take it slow with him. I've been around it my entire life. My sister is mentally challenged (tumor on the brain and multiple other things wrong with her) and I've worked with all types of disabilities in children. You just have to help them understand what's going on. I don't suggest letting him hold the baby unless you are right there to make sure everything is fine and make sure you are always in the room with them. If he does start to spaz out just take the baby in another room or try to calm him down. It just takes a little time with a child like that. I hope everything works out.

my brother is 14 and has touretts sp* and is hyper bipolar as well its hard but i like to have him around as well.
i just make sure that he sits when he holds her and if he wants to help give her a bath i give him jobs like fetching her towel and washing her hair whilst i hold her.
when they play i give him special jobs like while she is on the rug playing his big job is to make sure the dogs dont come to close .
he loves being givien the chace to show he can be responsable. 

Quoting Sadie Pantycakes:“ I had a sister that had hydro cephalus and spina bifida... she was severly disabled. She died when she was 4... I was 6. My ex husband has a brother who has down syndrome...best guy ever”

I am sorry to hear that.. I love my brother alot, but when he gets angry there is no controling him. Its so hard, and it would break my heart if he wouldnt be able to see my daughter.

Quoting PRETTYinINK:“ My younger brother is almost 18 and has a severe case of down syndrome. . . he is around my youngest ... [snip!] ... with them but other than that he has caused them no harm. What do you mean when you say he goes spastic. . . what does he do?”

When I was pregnant with her, he kicked out and hit my stomach (had to go to the hospital for pains every two min.) We were playing a marble game, and he got frusterated and tossed it up in the air, marbles flying everywhere almost hitting her....and when we were on a walk, he got mad so he kicked her stroller.

Quoting Mommy loves both of you:“ When I was pregnant with her, he kicked out and hit my stomach (had to go to the hospital for pains ... [snip!] ... in the air, marbles flying everywhere almost hitting her....and when we were on a walk, he got mad so he kicked her stroller.”

You really just need to be as careful as you can. Have you tried explaining it to him? If he keeps it just don't get the baby too close to him.

Quoting Mommy loves both of you:“ When I was pregnant with her, he kicked out and hit my stomach (had to go to the hospital for pains ... [snip!] ... in the air, marbles flying everywhere almost hitting her....and when we were on a walk, he got mad so he kicked her stroller.”

Ah, I understand. He gets frusterated extremely fast. . . I understand how that is too. I've worked with kids with autism, down syndrome, severe mental retardation, ect.. My advice to you is take it very slow with him. . right now he's a bit confused because there is a new baby around and he doesn't understand that his routine might have to change and he might have to act a little more gentle towards you and the baby. I would try to explain to him the importance of being a good uncle and try to encourage an activity between the two of you and your daughter that requires care and responsibility (with supervision obviously). Try to show him how you handle your daughter and he may mimic your actions with time. It definitley takes time though so don't expect it to change overnight. . . it took a few months for my brother to get used to the idea of having a small human being around him.

Quoting PRETTYinINK:“ Ah, I understand. He gets frusterated extremely fast. . . I understand how that is too. I've worked ... [snip!] ... to change overnight. . . it took a few months for my brother to get used to the idea of having a small human being around him.”

Couldn't have said it better myself. I was trying to say something like that in the posts I was putting my brain is not quite here at the moment. I have food in front of me....but it's too hot to eat.

Poster:
Just follow what she said. It does take time for them to get used to it. It'll happen eventually. My sister can't stand new babies at first. Once she gets used to them it's hard to get her to leave them alone. She loves them. It's cute.

Quoting Irishewwie:“ Couldn't have said it better myself. I was trying to say something like that in the posts I was putting ... [snip!] ... stand new babies at first. Once she gets used to them it's hard to get her to leave them alone. She loves them. It's cute.”

Thanks =).

Quoting PRETTYinINK:“ Thanks =).”

Your welcome. It's nice to see someone who knows what they are talking about and not just making it up. I get a lot of that when I start talking to people about this subject.

I am not living in the same house as him...we try and see them at least once a month...sometimes more...but he gets frusterated with everything..My fiance at one point said he was not allowed over anymore (we sometimes babysat him overnight) but later changed his mind. i dont want to be in the position where I have to choose my daughter over him. Hes kind of like a son to me (I helped alot raising him (we are 9 yrs apart) expesally when I was in highschool) and if anything happend to my mom, I would be the one to raise him from then on. I understand he is having a hard time with his dad leaving and than my dad leaving right when Justin (my brother) started calling him daddy...he has had a rough life, but I cant have him hurting my little girl. And he doesnt understand babies, when she was about a month old i had her in my lap, he was sitting right next to me and she put her arm up and her finger nail went against his skin scratching him.. He screamed and hit her hand telling her to stop...I told him not to do that and explained that she doesnt have control of her arms yet, he said, no she did that on purpose....I just dont know how to explain this to him...