Quoting bobbibouche:" I doubt one bottle would confuse a 3 week old but I guess it's up to the parent."
I know that it can, its just unlikely. But she has already had to have several bottles because she was under bili lights for jaundice- and so far no confusion
Thank you for all of your advice! I do ask him to hold her, and he changes her when asked and gives her the 3 am feeling- it was more of a sense that he is uninterested and detached. But it is already getting slightly better. I hadn't thought about the whole "meeting her as a stranger" thing- thats a helpful way to look at it.