Being an smurf and cross-posting. But I need some advice.

Alright, so, I'm 23 years old, I'm a nursing student at the community college here (one year away from graduation). I have two beautiful kids with a less than ideal father. Last year, I had my IUD taken out when I was diagnosed with chlamydia, and the Doc said that there was some inflammation that may become scar tissue, and that it may complicate my fertility down the line. Well, apparently not enough, because I recently found out that I'm 6 weeks pregnant. I'll be due in February, 3 months before I graduate from nursing school. The father and I broke up a month ago, he's in a new relationship, and wants me to abort it. He's made it very clear that to him, there is only one option. Throughout the time since we've found out, he's been extraordinarily inhumane in the way he speaks to me. And I'm shattered, because this man is not who I envisioned being the father of my child. He got a DUI in November, and recently was charged with driving on a suspended. He lost his job due to the DUI, and because he's the son of a well known police officer here, he's always been sort of spoiled when it came to taking accountability. He has been extremely unsupportive, angry, and hostile since we found out last week. In some ways, I definitely see that an abortion could hold merit in this situation. But at the same time, I feel like this is my baby. And advice? Input?

A big thing that is weighing on me is the legitimate point that he keeps bringing up-It takes two people to make a baby. How fair is it that one person is able to hold all the power? Is it really "fair" to keep a child that the other party doesn't want?

In the end, only you can choose. Is it right to bring a baby into the world with only one parent? Are you prepared to be a single parent to this child? How will having a 3rd child impact your other two children? How will it impact your schooling? Will you be able to complete school with a third child in tow? All these things you need to take into consideration and do what's best for YOU. It's YOUR body, YOU will be the one dealing with the aftermath and no one else. Good luck!

Your Body Your Choice.

Do what you think is best for you. Think of all scenerios. Will you be able to raise this baby alone?

Ultimately if he didnt want to have a baby, he should have done what he needed to prevent pregnancy on his end. He does have that control.

Quoting a s h l e y.:" Alright, so, I'm 23 years old, I'm a nursing student at the community college here (one year away from ... [snip!] ... is it that one person is able to hold all the power? Is it really "fair" to keep a child that the other party doesn't want?"

Yes, It is your child and if you want to keep it than I think you should. If you didnt want the child either it would be a different story. Have you looked in to seeing if he will sign away his rights?

Some amazing guy can come along at any time and love your children and want to be the father. Father as in the one who raises the child, not the sperm donor. It is your baby. If you want it, keep it. It sucks his sperm donor does not want him, but who cares?
He sounds like an idiot who is selfish and just wants his way. It may be legitimate, but women have been doing it on their own since the beginning of time.
I personally wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

Quoting a s h l e y.:" Alright, so, I'm 23 years old, I'm a nursing student at the community college here (one year away from ... [snip!] ... is it that one person is able to hold all the power? Is it really "fair" to keep a child that the other party doesn't want?"

The choice is yours. Don't let him tell you what to do with YOUR body. I'm sorry he's a piece of smurf... but a DUI doesn't make someone a bad person (although I get it had to do with him not having a job now)

I think you have to do whats best for you in your situation. you have many things going for you and nursing schol is not easy with two kids let alone another pregnancy and drama to go with it. its your decision in the end not his he can state his opinion in the end but ultimitley its up to you

Quoting ~~Nae~~:" Yes, It is your child and if you want to keep it than I think you should. If you didnt want the child ... [snip!] ... If you didnt want the child either it would be a different story. Have you looked in to seeing if he will sign away his rights?"

He won't. He said if I choose to have this baby, he WILL take me to court for child support and shared custody (as if I was ever trying to take it away.)

I did give him the option. I even said that I would put "Unknown" on the birth certificate. He said that there is no way.

Quoting ßea:" The choice is yours. Don't let him tell you what to do with YOUR body. I'm sorry he's a piece of smurf... ... [snip!] ... he's a piece of smurf... but a DUI doesn't make someone a bad person (although I get it had to do with him not having a job now)"

I could care less about the DUI..although he had a more severe punishment because he refused the breathalyzer, and then proceeded to procrastinate on putting the alcohol monitoring system in his car to the point that they refused to do it. Which is when he decided to drive on the suspended.

No one here can make that choice for you, You sure can keep that baby if that's what you want and choose to do. I can't tell you how I feel just that I would way that decision carefully, research it, and maybe talk to other abortion surviors about how they felt before and after and make sure it's a decision you can live with either way, and that it's the best desicion you could make. Good luck I'll keep you in my prayers

Quoting a s h l e y.:" He won't. He said if I choose to have this baby, he WILL take me to court for child support and shared ... [snip!] ... I did give him the option. I even said that I would put "Unknown" on the birth certificate. He said that there is no way."

That sucks that he is being such an ass   I dont know. You could always talk to a lawyer about what he could/couldnt get in the way of custody. Just write down everything he says to you about the baby in case you need it. I dont think a judge would take that baby away from you just because he wants them to, it sounds like he just thinks he is entitled to anything he wants.

Quoting a s h l e y.:" I could care less about the DUI..although he had a more severe punishment because he refused the breathalyzer, ... [snip!] ... monitoring system in his car to the point that they refused to do it. Which is when he decided to drive on the suspended."

Either way, it's your body. Don't let this ass hole control you. That's what he's doing. It's your body, keep it.

Quoting ßea:" Either way, it's your body. Don't let this ass hole control you. That's what he's doing. It's your body, keep it."

i agree w/this....he is just trying to manipulate you into getting his way.

I'm a liar opinion coming here, just not my opinion on the topic it's self.
It's your body, you can't let him force you, threaten you, or convince you to abort, you will regret it if that's how you base your desicion. I'm not telling you to keep or not to keep the baby just that, that's not the way to make your decision.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ßea:</b>" Either way, it's your body. Don't let this ass hole control you. That's what he's doing. It's your body, keep it."</blockquote>




Bea, thanks for the strength. Can I borrow your balls for a few weeks?