I feel so distant from everyone

Please don't judge. Or quote. Please.




I used to feel like an amazing mom. I used to spend literally ever minute I could with LO. I loved taking him every where with me and I could play with him for hours. Lately though, I've just felt like I just can't play with him or spend time with him. I just can't get up and do it. I get so frustrated with him now. I'm thankful I live with my parents because they see it too and they gladly help out knowing how I feel. I love LO, I really do. I wouldn't know what to do without him.

I have depression and anxiety. I have all of my life. My parents used to think I was crazy or they spoiled me too much because I'd randomly freak out and start crying over nothing. With my luck I also got my period very young, I was 7 almost 8. My hormones were a mess and I had all those other problems.

When I had LO, I felt like all of those problems went away. My parents even saw it. I was happy, I was able to stay calm. I didn't just randomly freak out. I felt normal.

Idk what happened. I want to go back. Idk if it's my job now. Idk if it's SO or what. I can't go to therapy. There's no place I can go that is covered by my primary. I have access but I'm also covered by my dad's insurance. They have to go through my dad's insurance first which none of them will let it. I hate it. Idk if I should just say I only have access since none of it is covered anyway. Idk what to do anymore. I hate feeling like this.

I'm sorry you feel that way.
I can relate, though. Except, I've NEVER felt like a good mom because I've never had patience. It got even worse after having my second. I've felt so depressed since then and I feel like I need therapy, too, but have no insurance at all.

I get you, completely. My son is 8, he has behavior problems and he lacks self control. I have a hard time with him and I loose my patience with him a lot. I too often feel like a bad mom but I try. I try to remind myself to keep calm but as far as playing with him I don't do it anywhere near as much as he would like but I am trying.

Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:" I get you, completely. My son is 8, he has behavior problems and he lacks self control. I have a hard ... [snip!] ... remind myself to keep calm but as far as playing with him I don't do it anywhere near as much as he would like but I am trying."

The problem isn't my son. Everyone tells me I'm lucky because he's always happy, always good in public, fun to be around, loving, funny and everything anyone would want their kid to be. I feel so ungrateful. I feel like I don't deserve him because I don't spend the time with him anymore. I know I need help but idk how to get around my insurance problem other than lying which idk if I could get in trouble for.

Quoting Noneya Business:" The problem isn't my son. Everyone tells me I'm lucky because he's always happy, always good in public, ... [snip!] ... I know I need help but idk how to get around my insurance problem other than lying which idk if I could get in trouble for."

yeah I am not sure but I guess it could be considered insurance fraud.