re: Is it over?

Quoting B-Banger:" should I go with it? I dont want to piss him off  "

I suggest you try the counseling, though he does sound like he's very detached. To tell you he doesn't feel anything when your sad or hurt.. is cold. Truthfully there may be nothing to salvage here. If he's willing to try, then i would humor him, and feed into that. I would want some closure myself, so i would suggest going with the counseling, see where that leads. In the mean time suggest he sleeps in a different room of the house, and not speak to you for awhile. Until you've picked up some shards of your broken soul.

He owes it to you, to give you time and space if nothing else.

Quoting chassidy ♥ PLG:" i was just curious because i mean you said that it's been 8 months since you guys have had sex and he ... [snip!] ... sex and he just all of a sudden doesn't love you anymore and he's not sexually attracted to you anymore. do yall fight a lot?"

yeah we have a smurfsmurftonne worth of problems surrounding money.. we started going through this company that takes all of your wages directly from their source, and pays your bills with it. They then put $$ in our bank account for food etc, but it is very little and we can't get ANY luxuries. And we fight about the kids, they have been very testing lately, the oldest is entering his teens and has had us in many fights  

Quoting B-Banger:" yeah we have a smurfsmurftonne worth of problems surrounding money.. we started going through this company ... [snip!] ... we fight about the kids, they have been very testing lately, the oldest is entering his teens and has had us in many fights  "

well me and my husband have only been married for 3 years and we fight a lot about money, kids, just little smurf so i know what you mean but if my husband ever told me he didn't hurt when i hurt then i'd be highly upset and if he wanted us to split then i wouldn't sleep in the same bed with him.

Quoting Puff the Magic Dragon!:" I suggest you try the counseling, though he does sound like he's very detached. To tell you he doesn't ... [snip!] ... Until you've picked up some shards of your broken soul. He owes it to you, to give you time and space if nothing else."

I feel so ripped off. I thought as long as we were a team we could beat anything. To hear him say 'see ya later mate...' .. it shattered me into a million and one pieces

Quoting B-Banger:" yeah we have a smurfsmurftonne worth of problems surrounding money.. we started going through this company ... [snip!] ... we fight about the kids, they have been very testing lately, the oldest is entering his teens and has had us in many fights  "

It's been proven money, financial issues put a HUGE strain on relationships.

Quoting chassidy ♥ PLG:" well me and my husband have only been married for 3 years and we fight a lot about money, kids, just ... [snip!] ... didn't hurt when i hurt then i'd be highly upset and if he wanted us to split then i wouldn't sleep in the same bed with him."

I want to be strong and go, I do, but I feel like its the easy way out.  

Quoting B-Banger:" I feel so ripped off. I thought as long as we were a team we could beat anything. To hear him say 'see ya later mate...' .. it shattered me into a million and one pieces"

Yeah, he seems very cold, and that's really sad mama. He really went about it in a smurffy way, and i would tell him to smurf right off until you feel like even looking at his face.

Do you own a house, rent? Who pays majority bills, or whose name are the bills in? If yours.. kick his ass out. Try the counseling!!

If he's willing catch him, and do it before he changes his mind.

I have to go pick my boys up from school, bbs
thankyou so much ladies, this is very hard for me to face alone.. i appreciate your help

I'm really sorry this happening but just remember this occurs in A LOT of marriages... even marriages that last for a lifetime. Every marriage hits a point when one or both people question their love and not because they don't care but because it's simply natural. No two people will remain passionately in love their entire lives, it just doesn't happen (aside from the movies). My grandparents were madly in love for the 67 years they were married and even survived WWII together (she didn't see him for two years straight, or hear from him much). However, they even had their share of hard times! It's just natural to hit rough spots. The fact that he wants to try counseling means there's plenty of hope for your marriage. Definitely bring in a third party to help you guys sort your feelings at and know that it is NOT over yet. It isn't over until both people can honestly say without a doubt they do not have any emotional business to tend to and that isn't the case with your marriage from the way things sound.

Quoting B-Banger:" yeah we have a smurfsmurftonne worth of problems surrounding money.. we started going through this company ... [snip!] ... we fight about the kids, they have been very testing lately, the oldest is entering his teens and has had us in many fights  "

Any marriage would suffer from a situation like this! Like I said, even the strongest couples would bend under so much stress! The counseling will help so much and so will being honest with one another. Right now is the best time to put everything on the table so you guys can identify the problems and figure out a way to work through them. Don't give up yet.

What he said and did was totally wrong but you also have to think about it from his point of view, howwould you feel if you found out that he had a secret bank account especially since a lot of your fights are about money. Wouldn't a million things be running through your head ifthe situation was turned around? Maybe you just really hurt him and out of anger he said those things to hurt you. He obviously knows what to say to hurt you really bad so maybe that's all he's doing is hurting you for hurting him (not saying what he said was ok) obviously him suggesting counseling shows he hasn't given up on your marriage and if counseling don't work at least you know you tried your best! I wish you 2 the best of luck!

<blockquote><b>Quoting V!ct0r!a ♥:</b>" What he said and did was totally wrong but you also have to think about it from his point of view, howwould ... [snip!] ... given up on your marriage and if counseling don't work at least you know you tried your best! I wish you 2 the best of luck!"</blockquote>


I'm pretty sure HE has the secret bank account?... OP, please correct me if wrong.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Momma of T&A:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting V!ct0r!a ♥:</b>" What he said and did was totally wrong ... [snip!] ... 2 the best of luck!"</blockquote> I'm pretty sure HE has the secret bank account?... OP, please correct me if wrong."</blockquote>




Ooh sorry I misread, well then he's super guilty he instantly got into defense mode, he tried to turn it around on you do instead of you yelling at him you feel horrible and say nothing...,