Vaccination vent, I guess

I really have to get this out, and I need support right now. All I have been doing is crying about this all smurfing day. To start, this is not about my stance on vaccinations, I don't care if YOU do or do not. I just need support in how I am feeling. My son is 4, he will be 5 in less than a month. In 2010 he had reactions to 2 different vaccinations. The flu and the pneumoniccol. They were a big area that was red, raised, hot to the touch, and being only 3, didn't give me much indication they hurt. I continued vaccinations because I figured he'd be fine. After a day or two, they were gone. We had a DTaP done last year with absolutely no problems. He had a MMR and DTaP on Tuesday morning, and had the same reaction has back in 2010, except it is larger, hard, and he keeps crying in pain. After the 2010 flu vaccine incident, we were black listed from further flu vaccines because of the vaccine. I SHOULD have known then there was a reason the risk, even with his severe asthma, outweighed the benefits for the drs. Now, I am left sitting here waiting, watching his reaction, praying it gets smaller, as it continues to do the opposite, in hopes that it doesn't affect his muscle. I am sitting here WAITING to see if my child will have permanent damage. Anyone know how badly that sucks??? I have researched vaccines until I am blue in the face. But, we did them (minus chicken pox) anyway. He had TWO different reactions. And I continued to do them. WTF? What kind of parent does that??? I keep thinking, if he has permanent damage to his muscles, this is MY fault. I should have known better. He had already had two smurfing reactions. It's like riding around without my kid in a car seat, being in an accident, and thinking "well he wasn't killed or seriously injured this time, I'll do it again." so I just toss my baby into the back seat until when? We are in an accident that kills him?? FFS, I am really hating myself right now. I feel like I failed. I failed as a parent. If my kid loses muscle in his thigh because of me.......how will I be able to live with that?

<3 I hope it gets better soon

like many moms you thought that you were doing the right thing. its not your fault. they propaganda us like crazy that the vaccines are safe and sometimes they are not. your child's body cannot handle them so now you can stop them in the future

Quoting CallMeMoses:" I really have to get this out, and I need support right now. All I have been doing is crying about this ... [snip!] ... I failed. I failed as a parent. If my kid loses muscle in his thigh because of me.......how will I be able to live with that? "

No, you are a good mom. There are risks in every parenting decision that we make. Imagine this hadn't happened but you had refused to vaccinate and he was afflicted with a preventable disease? You would have felt like smurf then too.
There are simply no absolutes in parenting, its all a smurfing crap shoot.


I am sorry this happened and I wish you all the very best

Quoting ♡Sarah♡ + 2:" <3 I hope it gets better soon"

Thank you

Quoting CallMeMoses:" I really have to get this out, and I need support right now. All I have been doing is crying about this ... [snip!] ... I failed. I failed as a parent. If my kid loses muscle in his thigh because of me.......how will I be able to live with that? "

Vaccination has been one of the very hardest decisions I have had to make and I think that is true for alot of parents. We all want what is best for our child and it can be so difficult to determine which course to take.

It sounds actually like an allergic reaction due to the heat at the site of the injection. He may have an allergy to one or more components in the vaccine.

While I know you will continue to beat yourself up about your decision ( we moms always do) it sounds to me as if you tried your best to make an informed decision for your child.

I hope he gets better soon and there are no lasting effects  

Quoting 3 Pumpkins:" like many moms you thought that you were doing the right thing. its not your fault. they propaganda us ... [snip!] ... the vaccines are safe and sometimes they are not. your child's body cannot handle them so now you can stop them in the future"

I just feel like I should have realized this 2 years ago, kwim? IDK I just feel.......stupid. My oldest NEVER had a reaction, not even fussiness. She got chicken pox, but that wasn't from the vaccination. Just the vaccination not being effective  

Quoting That-Girl:" No, you are a good mom. There are risks in every parenting decision that we make. Imagine this hadn't ... [snip!] ... are simply no absolutes in parenting, its all a smurfing crap shoot. I am sorry this happened and I wish you all the very best"

No kidding. And, I remind myself of that, try to at least. And thank you

I'm sorry. I know how you feel. But it's not your fault. like most parents you were only trying to do the best for your child.
my daughter had 3 shots on her 12 month visit. Well 13 month. MMR, chicken pox and hep A. 3 days after the shot she got a "rash" of raised bumps, about 50 ( or more now) on her knee. We have taken her in 3 times to two different offices and they keep telling me it's NOTHING! I have posted about it twice asking for help. no one knows. WHY is it they won't admit that these shots are not always "safe"?

No matter your choices regarding vacinations, every parent does what they think is best for their child and that's all we can do. You did that, you saw risks that you wanted to minimize for you child. We can't eliminate all the risks we can only 'do' with what we know, and one reaction doesn't mean a reaction to everything. Now there's been two reactions and you re-evaluate or re-assess his risks versus benefits and work from there. There are no easy answers to parenting, we all just do the best we can with what we have.

Quoting furrbabiesmommy:" I'm sorry. I know how you feel. But it's not your fault. like most parents you were only trying to do ... [snip!] ... I have posted about it twice asking for help. no one knows. WHY is it they won't admit that these shots are not always "safe"?"

Because the US government has protected pharmaceuticals from libility for vaccine injury.

Quoting .Colleen.:" Vaccination has been one of the very hardest decisions I have had to make and I think that is true for ... [snip!] ... tried your best to make an informed decision for your child. I hope he gets better soon and there are no lasting effects  "

Thank you so much. I completely agree. Seriously before every appointment I read about the vaccinations coming up, and spend days deciding even though I've thought about it a million times already. Deciding whether or not to vaccinate is probably one of the most stressful decisions hands down in parenting. I guess the positive is this will be his last.

Quoting .Colleen.:" Vaccination has been one of the very hardest decisions I have had to make and I think that is true for ... [snip!] ... tried your best to make an informed decision for your child. I hope he gets better soon and there are no lasting effects  "

 

I struggle with vaccinations constantly. It's so hard to know what the right decision is.

Quoting .Colleen.:" Because the US government has protected pharmaceuticals from libility for vaccine injury."

Yeah, this.

*hugs*

oh Cynth.

you are a fabulous mom and you are doing what you think is best for your kids.

I am betting it will go down in a few days.

<3