hitting in public?

What is your opinions on hitting your children in public? Would you do and if so under what circumstances?

Yesterday, as I was walking into my sons pediatricians office there were three little boys, probably between the ages of 2 and 4 and one little girl no older than 1 playing in front of the door. I really was in no hurry, I was just picking up Nathan's records so I waited in the doorway watching the kids and smiling at them. The one little boys mother got up, stormed across the waiting room over to her son and gave him three good swats on the butt while yelling at him "Get out of that ladies way!!!" and she then made him go sit down.

Maybe it's just me, because I couldn't even imagine myself hitting Nathan at home let alone in public like that, but I think it was absolutely unnecessary and definetely not a serious enough reason to hit a child like that at all, let alonein public. He was just being a typical little boy.How many three or four year olds, while playing, are going to think far enough to stay out of the way of others? I don't think many....

What's your opinion on the situation?

i think that was uncalled for, if u wanted to get passed im sure you would have step around him some how....i dont think i could ever do that to my son even at home

Quoting Britny Marie:“ What is your opinions on hitting your children in public? Would you do and if so under what circumstances? ... [snip!] ... are going to think far enough to stay out of the way of others? I don't think many.... What's your opinion on the situation?”

Nope never , I make a point of talking to my kids rather than spanking them .
Though I have swatted a bum or hand when they were reaching for a stove burner or a hot water tap.

I think words go much further than spank, slaps or hitting. I have not raised a child, persay (I have 3 step children 7, 10, & 12), but I have been there first hand. My father used to use "force" with my step brother and all he got from it was fear, not respect. And my mom used to spank me so hard it'd break blood vessels in her hands. I can remember not liking it, but it just made my heart hurt more than my bottom. When you speak to your child, I feel it's a much better way, because then, you gain respect from them, not fear of being hit.

NO thats way over the top...
I only think of a tap on the fingers for my son, and only after 4 or more warnings, esp if he is ignoring my warnings...AND only if hes about to do something dangerous, like playing with power points or tipping his drink on the tiles where he can slip and hurt himself.... and thats on the rarest occasion.

smacking vs belting....
Smacking only as a last resort, BELTING NEVER!

that seems like it was a bit unneccessary for something so small, HOWEVER, there are indeed times where a spank on the butt is necessary...I just dont think a child standing in a doorway qualifies.

I believe in spanking (not beating) and to spank the kid because of that isn't really needed IMO. I am a new mom but the strategy I would like to use is something along a 3 strike rule. I will tell them no and why the first time, then if they try it again, I will say no and give a warning, and the third is punishment. It may vary later on or I might not do that at all but it gives them a chance to learn cause and effect, consequences, etc. And I won't spank in public but I thought the whole "Do I need to take you to the bathroom" in my ear was good. lol

i agree with cranky and joel...the only time justified to spank a child is when they are putting themselves in danger and telling them isn't getting the point across.

I personally don't physically disipline my son. My SIL does and was at the mall and her daughter Ty was acting up and she started "tearing her but Up" outside. Well a woman wrote down her tag and called child protective services and a DYFS worker came to investigate. She had an open case for 6 months...and yes she still hits her 2 kids.

afterIaskmy child to do something then I count to 3 usually by the time I get to 2 the kids are running to do what is asked of them. If not then there is usually a swat that follows.. not spanking. What happened at your doctors office would have been handled with me getting up and getting my child and explaining to them what is going on. if someone is coming in or out of the door you move out of the way. If they continue to do it then the counting to 3 comes in. and that punishment can be anything... from a swat on the bottom, smack on the hand, time out or just compleate removal of the situation. You have to tell them the punishment though   And it should be fitting for what is going on.

I think the women really overreacted.

I am a firm believer in spankings, we got them a lot as children and while we still disobeyed, there were times where the fear of a butt whooping prevented us from acting up.

My dad was the main one who spanked us. He is remarried now with a 5 yr old daughter whose mother doesn't allow him to spank her abn she is Terrible! (not saying all kids who don't get spanked are terrible)
She yells and doesn't listen, throws tantrums in public and will scream on th floor until she gets her way. I love her as my little sister but I do not like being around her.

Kirk & I have decided that if a spanking in necessary it will be given
In public though, I don't think so.

i don't have a problem with spankings, under the right circumstances. what we have found that works with our 5 year old is this: if she acts out in public, she is asked to stop. if she continues, she gets a warning. if she still does it, her daddy tells her that she gets one swat on the bottom when we get home. however, if she immediately stops her bad behavior and is good for the rest of the outing, she "earns it back." this means that by behaving the way she is supposed to, no tantrums or anything, she never has to actually receive a swat on the bottom. works like a charm, because no kid wants a swat on the butt. however, there are never any circumstances when it is ok to hit your child in public. discipline needs to be carried out somwhere that you have your child's complete, undivided attention. that way you can also explain to them what they are being reprimanded for, and they have a chance to think about it. we always ask my daughter why she was sent to time out. usually she knows why. if not, we sit down together in a quiet room and we talk about acceptable and unacceptable behavior. i would never dream of spanking her for being in someone's way, though. that is just dumb.

I think spanking your child in public is unnecessary, and it causes humiliation for them (when they're old enough to be humiliated). I think verbal discipline is often necessary when in public, and that would be humiliation enough for some kids.

My daughter is only 3 months old, but I do believe in spanking at the appropriate age. And that appropriate age can only be determined by when the child is at the age to understand why they're being spanked. My brother and his girlfriend have started using time out with my 18-month-old nephew (they started when he was around 14-15 months), and he just doesn't get it. The child needs to be able to connect the punishment with the action...otherwise, the punishment is ineffective.

Quoting I'mamama:“ I think spanking your child in public is unnecessary, and it causes humiliation for them (when they're ... [snip!] ... get it. The child needs to be able to connect the punishment with the action...otherwise, the punishment is ineffective.”

i agree with everything you said

I think kids should get popped more than they do! Too many whining, screaming, bratty butt kids out in public. I don't know about hitting a kid due to being in the way. I would have guided them to another location.

We looked up the laws in our stated, and we are allowed to spank in public here. I don't think it's anyone elses business of why another parent chooses to spank. There is a thick, heavy line between abuse and a spanking for discipline.

Abuse: Smacking a kid in the face for knocking over juice.
Discipline: Smacking a kid on the butt for running out into the street.

I'd much rather my child get his feelings hurt by a spanking than to get ran over by a car. The hurt of the spanking will linger much longer than a talking to. I want hurt to be associated with the road. Anyone get what I'm saying?

We do discuss, hand out corners, take away priveledges way before a spanking ever comes. I think children should know the exact discipline that will come from certain actions.