re: hitting in public?

Quoting Pr0nkBeth:“ So my fun should be ruined because my child wants to act like an undisciplined nasty? I think not. There ... [snip!] ... to leave because he couldn't handle life. I feel that standards should be set in place before ever venturing out in public.”

I'm fully expecting after I have this baby that it won't be all about MY fun anymore, and that every now and then I might just have to be inconvenienced to do things the right way.

But expecting that setting those standards in private (and dealing with them in private) will cause public problems to be at a minimum

Quoting Britny Marie:“ What is your opinions on hitting your children in public? Would you do and if so under what circumstances? ... [snip!] ... are going to think far enough to stay out of the way of others? I don't think many.... What's your opinion on the situation?”

I would only spank my child in public if they were putting their own safety at risk, and continuing to ignore me verbally. I plan to start from infancy to teach my kids how to behave in public, so I don't *plan* on them acting like spoiled brats in public, but.....I suppose we'll see.


As for the mom, I think she went a little overboard, but I can understand her frustration. She could have went about it in a better way though.

The other day I was in Walmart and there was some kid touching something his mother didn't want him to touch, and she was in her loud voice like "If you don't stop and sit your ass down in that damn cart right now I'll whup it in front of everybody here and you'll get it twice as bad when we get home!" It was totally a display for the benefit of us strangers in the store. Not sure if she wanted us to think she was some kind of in-control supermom who had a handle on her kid's discipline, but it came across to me as just another common current piece of trash that beats their kids in walmart.

Quoting Pr0nkBeth:“ So my fun should be ruined because my child wants to act like an undisciplined nasty? I think not. There ... [snip!] ... to leave because he couldn't handle life. I feel that standards should be set in place before ever venturing out in public.”

I agree, you can't always stop living and doing what needs to be done because of the child acting up. Most of the time even just the threat of leaving is good enough, especially if its something they're enjoying, like a birthday party.

Quoting meridian:“ The other day I was in Walmart and there was some kid touching something his mother didn't want him to ... [snip!] ... her kid's discipline, but it came across to me as just another common current piece of trash that beats their kids in walmart.”

stuff like that makes me cringe. i have no problem telling my kid that she has done something i don't want her doing, but why shoould everyone else need to hear about it? and i still think spankings should be done at home, or at least out of the public eye. it is no one else's business how i discipline my child, or what i deem worthy of discipline. and do you think she bothered to actually tell her kid why she was upset? he might not really know what he did wrong. how is he to learn from that? that only teaches him to be afraid, not to behave. if your child doesn't know what they did that was wrong, how will they know not to do it again?

Quoting FarynMonster:“ I agree with spanking and my earlier post I put I won't spank in public... but what I kinda of meant ... [snip!] ... "Willful" refers to the intent to perform an action, not to achieve a particular result or an intent to cause an injury. ”

You can hit in public..All that says is what the state of FL considers abuse.

Quoting meridian:“ I'm fully expecting after I have this baby that it won't be all about MY fun anymore, and that every ... [snip!] ... that setting those standards in private (and dealing with them in private) will cause public problems to be at a minimum”

Well, when I go to Chuck E. Cheese, I gotta get my skee ball in! By fun, I didn't mean romping around, necessarily. If I go into public, my kids know exactly what to expect from us. We've only dealt with one tantrum from my oldest son. I don't know if he got possessed or what that day. I don't consider it a tantrum if my younger son cries over not getting Lego. Wah. Get over it. He cries, but doesn't scream, drop down to the floor or any other nonsensical behavior.

My kids are better behaved while we are out and about than they are at home. I'd rather have it this way too! I personally hate any sort of confrontation, whether it be with a kid or not.

As a mom of three, I choose my battles wisely. I don't go to the malls, I don't go entertainment shopping, window shopping or anything like that. If I have to take the kids, I plan it carefully and for necessity items only. I get usually a night per week to go out with my friend so we can go to Bed, Bath and Beyond and oogle over the neat kitchen gadgets. Yeah... kitchen knick knacks make me randy these days. Oye...what has my life come to?! LOL

Quoting Hummingbird Hollie:“ I think there is appropriate spanking and inappropriate spanking. My son who is 5, now...we have an understanding ... [snip!] ... and on bad days he gets a check mark. 30 stars = a trip to chucki cheese. It works a lot better than spanking for him at least.”

awesome idea with the chuckie cheese!

you are all making interesting points.

one thing i don't necessarily agree with though is spanking once you get home from the outting.if action isn't taken right as the problem is happening will the child fully understand why, an hour later once they are at home they are getting that spank? i suppose if the child was old enough then yes they would...but i don't think it would be as effective later on.

i still say it's best to talk to get your point across rather than spanking, but to each your own, thanks for all the input ladies...keep your thoughts coming!!

Quoting Britny Marie:“ you are all making interesting points. one thing i don't necessarily agree with though is spanking ... [snip!] ... get your point across rather than spanking, but to each your own, thanks for all the input ladies...keep your thoughts coming!!”

that's the thing, it probably wouldn't work with a very young child. my daughter is almost 5 though, and she has a very good memory, sometimes even better than mine. she is an interesting child. when she was a baby, she would toddle off into another room. pretty soon you would hear her tiny voice say, no no no. that was our cue that she was doing something naughty. she has always had a good grasp on what she is or isn't allowed to do, and she does remember what it is that she got in trouble for earlier that day. it might not work for every kid, it might not even work for our son when he gets older, but so far it has worked for her.

I think that it is completely necessary to smack your kids' butts, sometimes. But I always try to take my son to the bathroom or something if it is in public. He pretty much knows that if I tell him he better stop or he's going to get popped, that he is definitely going to get popped. I'm sorry, but when you are two and three years old, your only reasoning is that a pop on the butt hurts. I hate when I hear parents bargaining with their kids to be good. In my house, whenI was a kid, it was "be good or else." I'm not going to be that bad.

Quoting FarynMonster:“Oh, one question for you all, what does this exactly mean. I understand it to a degree but I just can't determine if it says we are or aren't allowed to spank in FL.

"Harm" to a child occurs when the parent or other person responsible for the child's welfare inflicts or allows to be inflicted upon the child physical, mental, or emotional injury. The following factors must be considered in evaluating any injury: prior injuries; location; multiplicity; and type of trauma. Such injury include, but are not limited to willful acts that produce the following specific injuries: sprains, dislocations, or cartilage damage; bone or skull fractures; brain or spinal cord damage; intracranial hemorrhage or injury to other internal organs; asphyxiation, suffocation, or drowning; injury resulting from the use of a deadly weapon; burns or scalding; cuts, lacerations, punctures, or bites; permanent or temporary disfigurement; or permanent or temporary loss or impairment of a body part or function. "Willful" refers to the intent to perform an action, not to achieve a particular result or an intent to cause an injury. ”

There you go, check out the bolded parts. If your spanking produces any of those, it is abuse.

That last sentence is a doosy.

That's fucked up, btw. You can leave all the bruises you want so long as they're not permanent, scaring, or causing internal or cranial damage? There's a lot of ways to cause physical torture to a child without leaving marks or lasting injuries. Sounds like easy hoops for a jackass to jump through should s/he run into some trouble for beating the shit out of their kids.

I believe in spankings, poppings, tappings...etc lol

If my child is doing something lhe know he ought no to just because he is in public. I'd pop him
If my child is screaming his head off for attention and throwing a full on tantrum i will tear his little booty up with my hand.

I remember i was with my aunty at wally world when i first moved here to sc and i was throwing a tantrum at 8 or 9 yrs old because she wasnt getting some type of candy i wanted. Next thing i know some invisible being is beating me right there in the food isle lol. I turn around and its my mom. She saw my behavior and she knew i knew i was taught better then that. I bet you i never pulled a stunt like that ANYWHERE public again because the emberassment was enough to make me stop.

It does depend on the situation tho.

Sure.

If you are different with your kid in pulic than you are in private...so will the kid be.

Now spanking JUST for being in someone's way?

no. that's retarded.

Quoting Dante's momma:“ There you go, check out the bolded parts. If your spanking produces any of those, it is abuse. That ... [snip!] ... Sounds like easy hoops for a jackass to jump through should s/he run into some trouble for beating the shit out of their kids.”

I appreciate all the responses. They were a bit too wordy and in being with Faryn I didn't have all day to read it and conprehend. I appreciate it!