illinois single moms? (longish)

So, I was dating my ex on and off for two years before we broke up about 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I'm now due in a little less then a month and he hasn't been there for me, let alone talk to me through out the whole pregnancy. I still do talk to some of his family though and they aren't too happy with him either, they say all he does is drink and party with random girls/friends and doesn't have any interest in getting a job... It really doesn't bother me what he does, the only thing that bothers me though is that I know as soon as I give birth he's going to expect me to call him and let him know everything that's going on. I also know he's going to expect me to let him have LO over nights and whatnot, I just haven't figured out if he actually cares about his son or if he's just going to be doing this to make his family believe he's not a complete dead-beat.
Considering everything that he does, also recently having a felony on his record for sexual misconduct with a minor, I really don't feel comfortable letting my son stay at his house at all, at least not right away, so I was just wondering what kind of laws they have on custody and whatnot for situations like this, if anybody else has had to go through something similar? please help me. this has been really bothering me..

also please no mean comment or anything, i know this was my fault for being with him and all that and that i should be dealing with this myself, i've heard it all before and i really don't want to hear it again...

Honestly? you don't have to tell him anything, he's had more than enough time to come around and start getting involved, if he wants to be notified he should've contacted you a long time ago, he has no rights, and if he wants them he's going to have to work for them, do not let him sign that birth certificate if he is with you when you have your baby. If he wants custody, then go to court but until then he has no rights to your child.

Okay in IL as long as you weren't married he has 0 rights until there is court order for rights, also you are the sole custodian unless otherwise determined by the courts. The 0 rights thing also means he doesn't have to pay child support until a court order is established. The court won't give him over nights until the child is older, but could give him visitation.

Dont put him on the birth certificate. If you do, he could take the baby and not give him back until there's a court date. Just go file for custody and child support. Save all evidence of the stuff he does. Document every time he calls, texts, etc. his record will definitely work in your favor. Idk what kind of visitation you want him to have, but you might be able to get supervised with that.

I would file for sole custody immediately and him supervised visits for at least the first several months. What was the sexual misconduct for? 18 with a 16 yr old? I mean something like that he poses no real threat from that standpoint.

Quoting Pretty ♥ face:" Dont put him on the birth certificate. If you do, he could take the baby and not give him back until ... [snip!] ... work in your favor. Idk what kind of visitation you want him to have, but you might be able to get supervised with that."

That isn't true in IL. The mother has sole custody even with him being on the BC.

i didn't plan on calling him or getting in contact with him at all when i go into labor and def. don't want him signing the BC but i'm just afraid he's gonna find out somehow and show up at the hospital.
his SMC case is a 21 yo with a 14 yo. but they had no actual evidence so i guess it was just a plea agreement for him to register. he's not on probation or anything though.

<blockquote><b>Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:</b>" That isn't true in IL. The mother has sole custody even with him being on the BC. "</blockquote>


Good for Illinois. I think it should be like that everywhere!

Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" That isn't true in IL. The mother has sole custody even with him being on the BC. "

oh okay that's good to know, i didn't know that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting jaiii.:</b>" i didn't plan on calling him or getting in contact with him at all when i go into labor and def. don't ... [snip!] ... had no actual evidence so i guess it was just a plea agreement for him to register. he's not on probation or anything though."</blockquote>


I was scared my SD would show up at the hospital. The nurses put my status as "private". If anybody asked if I was a patient there, they said no. If I had family coming they would just text me and I would have a nurse let them in. You could ask about that.

Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" Okay in IL as long as you weren't married he has 0 rights until there is court order for rights, also ... [snip!] ... a court order is established. The court won't give him over nights until the child is older, but could give him visitation. "

i don't mind him coming over to my house to see his son, but i just don't want my son at his house at all. i wasn't planning on filing for child support though because i know i can take care of my son without his help, if it was up to me i'd do everything myself and never talk to him again, but i know that's not fair to my son. if BD wants to see his son, i'll have no problem letting him, but if he chooses not to, i'm not going to force him to at all.

Quoting Pretty ♥ face:" <blockquote><b>Quoting jaiii.:</b>" i didn't plan on calling him or getting in contact ... [snip!] ... they said no. If I had family coming they would just text me and I would have a nurse let them in. You could ask about that."

oh okay that sounds like a plan, i didn't know i could do that either. i'll def ask about that.

Quoting jaiii.:" oh okay that sounds like a plan, i didn't know i could do that either. i'll def ask about that."

Yup, you definitely have the right to say who can/can't be at the hospital with you, just make sure you let them know in advance.

Quoting jaiii.:" i didn't plan on calling him or getting in contact with him at all when i go into labor and def. don't ... [snip!] ... had no actual evidence so i guess it was just a plea agreement for him to register. he's not on probation or anything though."

Yeah, don't put him on the BC. If he wants to be a father, he can petition the courts for DNA and all that jazz.

Quoting Pretty ♥ face:" <blockquote><b>Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:</b>" That isn't true in IL. The mother has sole ... [snip!] ... custody even with him being on the BC. "</blockquote> Good for Illinois. I think it should be like that everywhere!"

Can you tell i'm going through court??? lol