re: Lost my baby today

oh, and when you are ready to wrap your mind around this thought it will be comforting....

You now KNOW you CAN get pregnant!!

I had a LOT of people tell me this and I wanted to punch them. But now being a few months out from the whole ordeal, I do try to focus on the fact that NOW I DO KNOW!

You are in my thoughts!

Quoting Slykat:“ I was 9 weeks pregnant. we had the baby through ivf, so we have gone through alot already. baby stopped growing at 6.5 weeks, so they had to do a D&C. i am so scared of not having my baby.”

i'm so sorry for your loss, we are all here for you, i really hope things get better for you soon. God bless, your in my thoughts and prayers

IM SO SORRY HUN I TOO JUST LOST MY BABY I WAS 13 WEEKS, AND I HAD HEARD THE HEARTBEAT A WEEK BEFORE, I STILL CANT BELIVE IT, AND NOW I SEE BABYS EVERYWHERE AND JUST WANT TO CRY, I NO ILL GET THREW THIS BUT IT HURTS SO MUCH,AND MY SON  HE TELLS ME I WANT MY BABY BACK ,IT MAKES ME SO SAD, BUT I WONT GIVE UP, I WILL TRY AGAIN SOON, GOD BLESS SWEETIE 

Thank you to everyone. Just seeing a baby on tv makes me upset. Everyone's telling me to "be strong" or "you're still young," and think i should be getting over it already, even though it was just yesterday. i've known it was coming for 2 weeks so i guess they think i should have been prepared. but i dont think you can be, especially all that we struggled for it to begin with. I'm not giving up, but i'm scared that this could happen again. I always used to think that once i got pregnant, i would have my baby

Quoting Slykat:“ Thank you to everyone. Just seeing a baby on tv makes me upset. Everyone's telling me to "be strong" ... [snip!] ... giving up, but i'm scared that this could happen again. I always used to think that once i got pregnant, i would have my baby”

It is completely normal not to really start grieving until after you've lost the baby, even if you knew about it before. I knew about mine for a week before the D&C and I was really sad, but nothing like after it was all over. I grieved hard for a few weeks and then day by day it became easier to deal with.

I wish I could say something to you to make it all better, but only time will be able to make it hurt less.

Hugs, Sarah

Quoting Hothead Sninkler:“ It is completely normal not to really start grieving until after you've lost the baby, even if you ... [snip!] ... I wish I could say something to you to make it all better, but only time will be able to make it hurt less. Hugs, Sarah”

I echo what you say 100%! I too had to carry my baby around for additional week after finding out and she had already expired 3weeks prior to that. It was very disturbing and unsettling to know she was gone but my body wouldn't let go. Then I had my D&C and FINALLY started to grieve. I think it took me at least a month to step out of the daily, moment by moment fog. Now 3months later, I still have my rough days (like yesterday), but all in all I am trying to focus on getting my body healthy and back on track so when we do want to try again I will be at my best.

I would have to say the HARDEST part of all of this for me has been the DAY I found out and the day I got my results from my D&C......

Did your results reveal something bad? Thats another thing i'm worried about. as always, you dont expect the worse, but you never know. my dr said it would be a month. good luck in trying again. my dr said we can do another ivf in at least 4 months. this is also making us dig ourselves in a deeper financial hole (insurance doesnt cover it), but we do what we gotta do.

I just found out on Friday that I lost my baby. I was about 8 weeks along and we had 3 ultrasounds which showed a positive heartbeat and normal growth.On 4-23 Ihad started spotting a little bit and my doctor told me not to worry that it happens to many women in the first trimester. On the 25th it started to get heavier and I was only able to talk to a doctor over the phone who told me it sounded like I was treatening to miscarrry and to take it easy until I was able to see my doctor on Monday. I went in on Monday and had an ultrasound that showed the baby was fine. That night I started heavily bleeding and saw some pretty big clots. I just knew that I had lost my baby. My husband and I went to the ER and were there for hours, finally had an ultrasound and was told that my baby was fine! We were ecstatic! Wednesday I had a doctor appointment and he said the baby was fine. Friday morning I woke up and passed another clot and had more bleeding. I went in for another ultrasound and the baby was gone =( My HCG dropped from 54,000 to 3,000 in just 4 days. My husband and I are very sad, but we had prepared for this. I never felt like things were quite right. We had tried for 8 months to conceive this baby, we were soooo excited and now it's over...I have an appointment on Tuesday to talk to my doctor about what is going to happen next. I have a large uterine fibroid that may have had something to do with the miscarriage, although all the doctors told me that the baby wasn't near the fibroid and things should be fine. I am slowly coming to terms with the miscarriage. It's comforting to know that tons of women have miscarriages and still go on to have healthy babies. Good luck to all of you who are trying to conceive again.

Quoting Slykat:“ Did your results reveal something bad? Thats another thing i'm worried about. as always, you dont expect ... [snip!] ... this is also making us dig ourselves in a deeper financial hole (insurance doesnt cover it), but we do what we gotta do.”

If you look back at my post "It was a Girl" you will get the full story. But in a nutshell: It was more then a month since my D&C and I hadn't heard anything so I called my dr. And since she is a pretty popular dr I didn't get a call back until a few days later. When she called it was in the evening and I was at a sporting event so her call went to VM. She told me that there was nothing found in the patholgy to explain why our baby stopped thriving (even though we saw the heartbeat) and that the tissue revealed it was most likely female. This news just crumbled me and sent me back to the day I found out for a few reasons. 1. Since there was nothing wrong (all her chromisoms were present) I had to deal with the unknown of WHY and not get ANY solace from such a horrible experience. I thought if there was something wrong then it wasn't my fault some how (even though I did everythign right). But since the baby had been in me expired for 3.5weeks it is possible the cells that contained answers were gone and shed from my body. and the 2nd reason was finding out the sex. Until the point of hearing the VM I hadn't attached an identity to my baby. But now that I knew it was a going to be a girl, I knew what her name would have been and it confirmed my own instict I had since finding out I was prego...I knew in my soul it was a girl.

Now looking back there were a few times my inner voice said things that were TRUE and when I am fortunate enough again to become pregnant I will listen to that voice!

So, for you just cry as much as you need to. Try NOT to listen to anyone's oppinion of WHAT you should be doing or feeling. I found that all the people around me were saying all the WRONG things. And the reason behind it, they have NO clue what to say, so they say things to make themselves feel more comfortable and in return they end up making you feel more uncomfortable! I simply emailed or txt'd my friends and family and asked them NOT to say anything because there was nothing they could possibly say. I told them that next time they see me just give me a hug. My Hubby also helped shield me from the comments and suggestions!

The only thing you need to listen to is your inner voice and the women on this board! Just worry about things moment by moment. Hugs to you! PM if you have more questions!

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I was on fertility meds. (clomid) and finally got pregnant and at 12 wks, on 02/2608 I had a m/c at home. I know its hard to get through and I myself am still not over it. But things will work out, I am now 6 wks pregnant...and got pregnant without my clomid , this time. So just try to relax and get through this. I'm sorry you had to go through this and if you need to talk I am here for you.

**THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

>Abby

Congrats Mrs. King, i'm happy for you. I did invitro so i still have all my lumps and bruises from the shots. some days are just better than others.

Quoting Mrs.King:“ I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I was on fertility meds. (clomid) and finally got pregnant ... [snip!] ... this. I'm sorry you had to go through this and if you need to talk I am here for you. **THIS TOO SHALL PASS. >Abby”

Congrats Abby! I succeeded on my 4th round of Clomid. But after all I went through with the drug I am opting to go without it if I can. Crazy you got prego so fast! I am still waiting for my body to snap back. My first cycle was absent of any ovulation. I am hope to have more of a normal cycle this time around.

I am sending you LOTS of sticky baby dust!

Last time we were trying to conceive I was on Clomid for 6 months with no results, and I finally got pregnant in month 8. I haven't had a cycle since my miscarriage on May 2nd, doctor said it should come in 3-6 weeks, but I'm afraid I won't ovulate because that's the reason the doctor put me on clomid to begin with...I guess I'll just wait and see...Hopefully it won't take 8 months to happen this time.

Quoting Katie_D:“ Last time we were trying to conceive I was on Clomid for 6 months with no results, and I finally got ... [snip!] ... doctor put me on clomid to begin with...I guess I'll just wait and see...Hopefully it won't take 8 months to happen this time.”

Try not to stress too much, that might effect when you get AF back and your Ovulation as well. Me, I ovulated prior to taking Clomid, but my O's would come really late in my cycle and my Lutheal (sp?) would only last a week at most. So our REI Specialist guessed that my eggs were in such poor shape by the time I O'd (due to too much hormone exposure) that he put me on Clomid. And my Hubby only had 3% normal sperm - so after 4 rounds of Clomid and 3 months of my Hubby taking Fertility Vitamins we succeeded.

I am not wanting to jump back on Clomid even though my doc was ready to send me home with some just 1 month post m/c. However, since I didn't O last cycle I am now looking for alternatives - some ladies on here suggested a natural suppliment called Vitex. I'm going to give it a try and see if I can get my cycles back in check without Clomid. We shall see!

Hang in there!

Sorry for your loss, I too just lost my baby at 9 weeks...went for an ultrasound on Friday..routine...and found out baby had died. I had a D&C yesterday. It's such a struggle...but we will get through it. Its amazing how quickly things can change.