Am I being selfish?

Okay, as most of you probably know from my previous posts, I really dislike my mother in law, I despise her! Everytime I get around her, she deliberately goes out of her way to irk my nerves. Last week, she fed my 3 month old chips! Fucking potato chips! And when I looked at her in pure horror and asked her to stop she just gives me this cocky little grin and continues doing it. I tried to take Kiley from her and she had a death grip on her. Honestly, I would have had to punch the woman to get my baby back. As if that wasn't bad enough, she later took her out of the room to change her diaper (and for some reason decided to change her outfit, which was not dirty) and yelled "Kahla, I'm dressing your daughter ugly!" repeatedly just to spite me! And when I tried to say something she just throws a scene like, "What you don't trust me?" or "You know this isn't my first time around a baby"and makes me look stupid in front of everyone. And the clothes she put on her were for 18mos. so when we went to church that night everyone could think that I was a bad mother for not dressing my child appropriately. AND she tried to drive to the church that night with my daughter in her lap NO CARSEAT! Well I immediately got out of the car and refused to get back in til my child was put in a carseat. She later apologized saying she "didn't want to be late." psh.

Anyway, my question...

As you all know, mother's day is sunday. She's told John that all she wants is for us to go to church with her and spend the day with her. Well I threw a fit! First of all, I can't stand the woman. Secondly, this is my mother's day too, my first mother's day at that! She's had 18 years worth of mother's days she can't give me this one? I don't want to spend even a second of my day with her, but I can't very well tell John not to go. But I wanted to spend my first mother's day with him and Kiley. So what should I do? Am I being selfish or am I just overreacting?

Youve got a monster in law on your hands!!!!!   

I say spend YOUR 1ST Mothers Day with your baby and mate. Screw her...

Just tell her that you will go to church with her, but you already have other plans for the rest of the day and leave it a that.

Quoting Kahla [Kiley's Mommy]:“ Okay, as most of you probably know from my previous posts, I really dislike my mother in law, I despise ... [snip!] ... I wanted to spend my first mother's day with him and Kiley. So what should I do? Am I being selfish or am I just overreacting?”

I don't blame you for not wanting to spend you very first mothers day with her. I don't think you are being selfish at all.
Although it does put your guy in somewhat of a comprimising position.
Tell him how you feel and then ask him to explain to her ( or you explain to her)
Hopefully she will understand
But she seems childish so maybe not.

Ugh I would seriously probably kick that lady in the face!!!! That would piss me off SO bad if she thought she needed to change my babys clothes OR even THINK that she was going to drive to the church with my baby in her lap. WTF was she thinking? As for spending mothers day with her.. screw that! I definitely dont think your being selfish or overreacting at all. He should understand why you wouldnt want to spend your first mothers day with her.. and why you would want to spend your time with him and your little girl! I wouldnt tell him not to go see his mom.. or let him know that I didnt want him to but I would definitely say that I wanted to spend time with him to so he should go visit with her for a while and then come home and spend the rest of the night with you!

I feel sorry for you. If you are married you BELONG with your husband and baby. From now on it is up to your husband (since its his Mother) to nicely tell her you all have plans but will meet later, or spend another day together. I hate in-laws who try and interfere especially with a new couple. Your first and main priority is your family. You are adults and are more than entitled to start saying "no" to unwanted invites.

Enjoy your own Mothers Day with YOUR immediate family.

Quoting [[3rd Time TTC]]:“ Youve got a monster in law on your hands!!!!!    I say spend YOUR 1ST Mothers Day with your baby and mate. Screw her...”

lol Thank God you understand! When I tried to explain this to John he thought i would be funny to test me and bring a bag o chips into the bed and try to give them to Kiley. He thought it was funny. He replied "They were soggy" Okay as if it's not bad enough that she was feeding her chips, she wet them in her mouth first! GROSS! Yeah babe, that really made me feel better lmao he's adumbass!

It sucks butI would just grin and bare it the best I could. I mean not the whole day or anthing, but maybe you guys should go out to eat or whatever and stay for a couple of hours and then get the heck outta there! lol 

Or you could just be cough cough sick lol (jk)

Quoting Crystal1981:“ Just tell her that you will go to church with her, but you already have other plans for the rest of the day and leave it a that.”

Yeah I thought of that to, I just hate how she makes the plans for me on MY mother's day. Heaven forbid if I planned on sleeping in lol

i think she is the one who is being selfish!!! (and i think that if your hubs doesn't see that way too that he is in denial!)
its YOUR day and you should spent it how you want!!! you're right she had her mothers day for years and this is your first...seriously WTF!
I wouldn't even give it another moments thought-do what you want!

Quoting I ♥ Gavin Lennox:“ I don't blame you for not wanting to spend you very first mothers day with her. I don't think you are ... [snip!] ... and then ask him to explain to her ( or you explain to her) Hopefully she will understand But she seems childish so maybe not.”

She's beyond childish!! Talking to her does nothing because she constantly twists your words around and she makes John feel guilty everytime he tries to talk to her, to the point where he's in tears doing whatever he can to make it up to his "mommy!" She's so manipulative!

Quoting [[3rd Time TTC]]:“ Youve got a monster in law on your hands!!!!!    I say spend YOUR 1ST Mothers Day with your baby and mate. Screw her...”

You're not being selfish! This is your 1st Mother's Day & I'm sure you'll remember it forever. Tell her up front that you all will go to church w/her, but after service (or lunch... depending on if she's paying... j/k  ) you all haveplans. GOOD LUCK! She sounds hard-headed!

Quoting Kacey Denae:“ Ugh I would seriously probably kick that lady in the face!!!! That would piss me off SO bad if she thought ... [snip!] ... spend time with him to so he should go visit with her for a while and then come home and spend the rest of the night with you!”

Exactly, I can't tell him not to go bc she is his mom, unfourtunately. But still...I don't think there's any way to win this in my favor.

Quoting Kahla [Kiley's Mommy]:“ Yeah I thought of that to, I just hate how she makes the plans for me on MY mother's day. Heaven forbid if I planned on sleeping in lol”

I know what you mean, I have a MIL that is pretty intense. It is all about compromise.... Next Mothers day, be the first with the plans ( out of town plans) hehe good luck!!!

Quoting Kahla [Kiley's Mommy]:“ Okay, as most of you probably know from my previous posts, I really dislike my mother in law, I despise ... [snip!] ... I wanted to spend my first mother's day with him and Kiley. So what should I do? Am I being selfish or am I just overreacting?”

umm she sounds horrid to me. i'd let him spend half the day with his mom alone and the other half with you . but not together. hope it works out