SNs and interacting with siblings

How do you explain to your older/younger siblings that you cant play with their SN siblings the way they would play with their other siblings? This is becoming a bigger and bigger issue in our house now that the kids are home for summer break.

ex. Nanners (2) is our Sensory kiddo and is playing with a doll house and toys. She tells Beanie to come and play with her on the ground. everything is all set and then Beanie (10) takes over and decides that the house would be better off on the table. This of course is not how the game is "played" to Nanners thus causing huge meltdown taking me over 30 min to calm her down. I explained to Beanie that Nanners did ask her to play with her under certain specifications and this is why she was upset. and of course the 10 year old doesnt get it at all and does it again.

or
Mark is rough housing and jumping all over the place. Nanners starts playing and is doing great and getting all the sensory seeking she needs. then she gets overstimulated and punches Mark in the face or starts pushing and just getting plain nasty. and again I have confused and hurt older kids when I tell him that he needs to leave her alone if i see it heading in that direction. they of course ignore me and then i have violence and screaming.

i am at a huge loss with this as it is getting worse. What are ways you keep your house under control while letting them play together? Nanners wants nothing more than to be with her siblings but her behavior gets so out of control if they are around as it doesnt take much to set her off.

Have you told them she is different? I had to explain this to my almost three year old a couple times. Like if she started mimicking behavior. I always made sure to tell her that he is not getting away with the behavior that I would deal with it in a different matter. She struggles with it but she does great with it and often tries to help her brother get through rough times. I guess it's easier because I can cuddle her and remove her from the situation while he works it out

Quoting Buzz and Almond Joys momm:" Have you told them she is different? I had to explain this to my almost three year old a couple times. ... [snip!] ... get through rough times. I guess it's easier because I can cuddle her and remove her from the situation while he works it out"

they know that she is different but it doesnt click. they do it over and over but its hard as i use them to entertain each other since we have so many kids.

Have you tried explaining she is not just different as in an age, but she is special needs? The 10 year old could probably understand a little better than the younger kids, if you actually sat down and told them what was going on and answer any questions they might have.
Also, here in my area they have sibshops ages 8-17 I think, where siblings of special needs can go and be around other kids who have special needs brothers/sisters. I'm not sure what all takes place as my kids are still young. But, I have read the pamphlets and think it would be beneficial in the future.