Missing My Son...

Hello everyone. I haven't been on in a long time so much profile isn't really up to date at the moment. But On May 3rd, 2012 I lost my son Madex Lee McElhaney. He was 4 months old at the time. He passed away from Respiratory Distress due to Aspiration. I honestly don't know how to feel or what to say. I feel like I am in a daze. I also blame myself. I was at work at the time and keep thinking if I was home this wouldn't of happened. I guess I am just posting this to hear stories about how other mothers handled the pain if they ever did... because right now I just feel like dying... Thanks for all who post!

Aw mama, im so sorry for your loss   What did he aspirate? If you dont mind me asking

im so sorry.

I'm so sorry for your loss. <3

I cannot even imagine how this must feel...and there are no words I could offer to assist.

So I will only offer my virtual arms wrapped around you, mama. And a shoulder to cry on...

((((((((((((((mama)))))))))))))))

I'm sorry  

I lost my 4 year old last year to cancer. I still miss him incredibly. I still cry. It still hurts. I don't think there's any specific advice to give, grieving is just a long process... But if you ever need someone to talk to, you're welcome to talk to me. ((hugs))

My prayers go out to you. I am so sorry for your loss. You can not blame yourself. You were trying to provide for your baby. Which is what any mother would do.

I am soo very sorry for your loss. was he sick with a cold when this happened? I wish you peace and happiness!

I lost my son from SIDS 2 years ago and it never goes away. These are the times you are going to have to be mentally strong because of it being so recent and so fresh. I honestly had the cloud of guilt ride over me as well because I was the last one to see him alive and was the one to set him to sleep. He had already passed by the time I woke up and I kept blaming myself as well for if I had woken up more often or just wasn't in a heavy sleep of all nights, I could have gotten him up on time. I'm not sure what route you took as far as burial and all but I had my son cremated so I still see him (his urn) daily. The pain will honestly never go away you will just unfortunately have to make room for it but easier days will come. I have been able to laugh again in general, and even smile at the thought of my baby and looking at his pictures. Videos I do not touch, they are too deep for me even 2 years later. But just know your baby is resting, and cannot be bothered by the hardships of life. It's important to keep his memory alive. I was offered support groups but never went. I am still opened to the idea but I will try for it in the future. What helped me get by was just taking every day at my pace. We might be different when it comes to this, but in my situation, I was very sensitive and took offense to everything that was said to me even if people meant well so it was best for me to keep away from a majority of people. I needed time to grasp the fact that my son was gone and I didn't want to hear the same message coming from 100 different people. I needed someone who would take the sting off the situation and let me get back to thoughts of my son at my own time. It helped me get by, just my personal suggestion.

Quoting milo456:" Aw mama, im so sorry for your loss   What did he aspirate? If you dont mind me asking"

Formula. He was sleeping and I guess couldn't get it out and it went back down into his lungs and drowned him.

Quoting annabelle509:" I am soo very sorry for your loss. was he sick with a cold when this happened? I wish you peace and happiness! "

No. He was very healthy. This was completely unexpected. I am going to post pics of him soon. I just haven't really update anything on my profile.

Quoting ProudMommaof3_89:" I lost my son from SIDS 2 years ago and it never goes away. These are the times you are going to have ... [snip!] ... off the situation and let me get back to thoughts of my son at my own time. It helped me get by, just my personal suggestion."

We had an open casket, but we got him cremated too. I also have a keepsake with his ashes in it. It is a tear drop necklace. I will post a pic later of it.
And thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I appreciate it very much. I am very sorry for your loss also.

Quoting Tanna Sutherland:" My prayers go out to you. I am so sorry for your loss. You can not blame yourself. You were trying to provide for your baby. Which is what any mother would do."

I guess I blame myself because I am his mother and when he needed me the most I wasn't there for him. I know nothing will change the past, but I would give my life just to see him one more time.

Quoting RIP My baby Madex Lee McE:" "

He is so gorgeous. I am so so very sorry for your loss