BD being an ass (vent)

UGH I just want to smack him! He hardly ever takes DS, pays next to nothing in child support, never calls to talk to DS, wants to argue about everything, etc. Well he took DS this weekend (because it's father's day and his mom would bitch if he didn't have DS), and everything's fine until an hour ago.

He calls and says when are you picking him up? I said, umm excuse me? I never said I would or could pick him up, SO is at work I have no way to pick him up you need to bring him home. (he's been bringing the kid both ways for a few months on the rare times he does take him because my SO works usually 7 days a week) He then informs me he's at his mom's and the usual ride (his mom's neighbor) is drunk so he cannot bring DS home. I said that's not my problem, you should've asked him before the weekend not wait til the last minute after the man has been drinking all day. He says, well I have no ride so you figure out a way to pick him up tonight or I'm keeping him and you won't get him back, ever.

I'm like are you that smurfing stupid?! Number one, no I don't have a ride, SO is at work and there's nobody else anywhere near me to ask. Number two, saying you'll keep him longer isn't a threat seeing as you're supposed to keep him 2 weeks per month in the summer as opposed to 3 weekends a month during the school year. Number three, you can't keep him forever I'm the one with primary physical custody and you have visitation. If you try to keep him past what is in the agreement just to be a dick, I can have the cops take him from you because it's no longer your time to have him. Number four, who the hell are you trying to kid? You have to work all week, so does your mom, you have no babysitter or daycare. So you have no way to keep him long term anyways, at least not last minute with no planning beforehand. And you can't stand to keep the kid, after a couple days you're ready to pull your hair out.

He proceeded to call me a dumb bitch, etc. He wanted to argue about what DS wears, his ADHD meds, etc. I said you know what, call me when you know when you'll be bringing DS back I don't have time for your bs, click. UGH, I just want to slap the stupid outta him! I don't need his damn stress right now. Why can't he just step up and be a good father or sign over his damn rights? This in between bs is getting old! I've tried to talk to the court about changing the custody arrangement since he never follows it, but because 5 years ago when it was opened I lived in another county they won't talk to me. I'm like, ok we both lived there now we both live in this county. What do I need to do to go back to court but down here? They just say call your lawyer. I'm like, ok I never had a lawyer I don't need to waste the money on one when BD is an inadequate father so me getting custody was a no brainier. I shouldn't have to pay a lawyer just to push papers. But they won't talk to me so idk what the hell to do about that mess.

So here I sit, unsure of when DS is coming home. I text BD and said call me when you can talk without screaming at me and let me know when he'll be home. Getting all stressed out and upset because his dad is a giant smurf. I know right now he is probably telling DS some bs like i don't want him because that's how BD is. I'm sitting here crying just thinking about my son crying because he isn't back home yet. Sorry this is so damn long, I just needed to vent.

1. Is there is a child support order in place?

2. Is there a custody/visitation order in place?

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" 1. Is there is a child support order in place? 2. Is there a custody/visitation order in place?"</blockquote>



1. Yes, he pays $100 per month which is crap. I'm about to take him back because every three years you're entitled to a review and it's been just over three years. Luckily we go to court for child support in this county already so that's not an issue.

2. Yes, I have primary physical custody and he has visitation. He is supposed to take DS the first, second, and fourth weekend each month September-May. June-August he's supposed to take DS two whole weeks each month. Holidays alternate each year, I always have mothers day and he's always supposed to have fathers day. I'd like to get the custody order changed or at least looked over again since he maybe takes DS one weekend a month at most. But like I said, it's in a different county and idk how to get it changed to this county since the people there won't give me any helpful info.

I am sorry. He doesn't need to be doing that bullsmurf.

Quoting Jenifer Casto:" <blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" 1. Is there is a child support order in ... [snip!] ... it's in a different county and idk how to get it changed to this county since the people there won't give me any helpful info."

1. Re-visit child support. Technically, if all he is ordered to pay is $100, that is all he has to pay. You can't fault him for that.

2. Does your custody/visitation order talk about transportation to and from visits? If not, it should. It would make an issue like this a no-brainer. I would also take the custody order back to court, have things like this solidified and look at things that may start coming up like extra curricular activities, extraordinary medical expenses, etc.

<blockquote><b>Quoting * Sara *:</b>" I am sorry. He doesn't need to be doing that bullsmurf."</blockquote>

I'm just so sick of this. It's like be a man, or get out of our lives. Don't pull dumb smurf on me.

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" 1. Re-visit child support. Technically, if all he is ordered to pay is $100, that is all he has to pay. ... [snip!] ... solidified and look at things that may start coming up like extra curricular activities, extraordinary medical expenses, etc."</blockquote>


1. I am going to the court to get a modification hearing as soon as I can get there. He should gave paid almost $300 per month as suggested by the court moderator, but I let him get away with $100 per month because at the time I made a lot more money than he did and he gave a sob story about being broke. My fault for being nice, I know. But I'm done being nice, next time we go they are taking the maximum amount they see fit and I will not haggle that number down with him again.

2. When we went for custody originally, he lived an hour away from me so we had a clause put in saying we'd each drive one way since it was so far. And because if we didn't I'd get screwed with having to drive an hour each way all the time back and forth because he is lazy. Well now, we only live 15 minutes from eachother and currently my license is suspended (long story but basically I drove my moms car without checking the stickers and didn't realize her inspection was up, got pulled over, and got a fine plus suspended license. Then I got caught driving my car with suspended license so I got additional time on the suspension. I had to drive to get my son to daycare and myself to work, I couldn't take a bus, and had nobody to give me a ride. So it was drive and risk it to work and take care of my kid, or don't drive and lose my job.) So even if SO had his other vehicle here instead of being fixed, I can't drive it. Lol I could risk it, but he doesn't want to risk me getting caught again with no liscence so he drives everywhere.

Now I have BD's mom drunk texting me.   What a great grandmother she is. Why are these people so screwed up?

Did you ever get your kid back?

Well, if ot comes down to it at least you have an order if he decides to pull some smurf.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~AJLR~:</b>" Did you ever get your kid back?"</blockquote>



No not yet, smurf won't answer the phone.

<blockquote><b>Quoting SailorJerry:</b>" Well, if ot comes down to it at least you have an order if he decides to pull some smurf."</blockquote>


Yeah, he can't keep DS too long. I can call the cops after two weeks and have DS removed from the house. But I highly doubt BD will keep him that long, he has no patience.

If you don't have the money for an attorney, talk to a Paralegal. They work under an attorney and can at least give you advice on what exactly to do or what to file. They will file the paperwork for you for a cheaper cost however you will represent yourself in court. Later on you can hire the attorney the paralegal works with too if need be.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nighthawk:</b>" If you don't have the money for an attorney, talk to a Paralegal. They work under an attorney and can ... [snip!] ... cost however you will represent yourself in court. Later on you can hire the attorney the paralegal works with too if need be."</blockquote>


Yeah, I might. When we go back to get the child support increased, I'm giving him the option to pay or sign his rights over. He's useless, DS hates going to spend time with him, he just causes problems for us. If he wants to keep his rights and pay, then my SO said he'll get me a lawyer if I want.

Now BD's mom is texting me bitching about how he deserves some respect.   Umm, sorry I don't smurfing respect a boy who has to be nagged to take his child, has to be nagged when he loses a job and quits paying child support, is in and out of jail, can't have an adult conversation instead just screams and cusses me out, tells me I'm a piece of smurf for being a SAHM, argues about what the kid wears, doesn't go to the doctor with me for his kid, doesn't even call to speak to his kid, has his mommy call and bitch at me, yells at his kid for not sagging his pants because his kid doesn't want to be ghetto like him, etc. I said bitch if anyone deserves respect it's my SO, he's the one busting his ass to help provide for my kid, he's the only positive male role model my kid has, meanwhile you two just talk smurf on him for no reason. I told her BD is not a real man therefore does not deserve the respect of one. Smurfing idiots! I swear idk how those two can keep a job longer than a day.