8 yr old driving me nuts... Help??

Ok, my 8 yr old son I swear is like Jekyll and Hyde... He can be the most awesome, polite, helpful, well mannered, obedient young gentleman in the world and then he is this back talking, fit throwing, non-listening, space-cadet the very next day... I have mentioned before that he has been tested for ADHD (hes not) and that there is some suspicion he may be bipolar, altho he is not nearly advanced enough for that to be tested for, as the test would be inconclusive for a variety of reasons. Also, apparently, this is something that is much more of an issue at home than it is at school, for example. I try to figure out what could be the issue, I try talking to him, I try spending "just us" time with him... Everything I can think of to make this better, but I really don;t see anything change except my own ability to handle it... Its getting harder and harder to. I am beginning to wonder if maybe I am being to hard on him and myself and that he is just acting like every other 8 yr old boy in the world... The last thing i want to do to him is put unrealistic expectations on him that will kill his self esteem... Any suggestions, help or even empathy would be greatly appreciated!!!  

I'm sorry hun... I have no clue about what's normal for 8 yr. old little boys.... but I do know that I was the same way whenI was about 9. Maybe it's normal?

I hope it gets better and hang in there girl!

I hate to say it but I think it is just an 8 year old boy thing. I saw it all the time while working in a primary school. Gotta love the start of puberty...............

Quoting Chris' mommy!:“ I'm sorry hun... I have no clue about what's normal for 8 yr. old little boys.... but I do know that ... [snip!] ... but I do know that I was the same way whenI was about 9. Maybe it's normal? I hope it gets better and hang in there girl!”

Thank you! LOL I know I was like that, and unfortunately my Mom did not deal with it well, and I am just afraid of being the same way as she was, which is not a good example... I guess thats my biggest worry, is making my mothers mistakes with a child like him, which is a male version of me LOL Heck, that may be why he knows exactly how to drive me batty... He is just like me!!! LOL

Possibly OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (sp?). I have a cousin who is OCD with his mom. He listens to anyone and every except her. Some days he is great and others he is a nightmare. My daughter is the same way but she DOES have ADHD which is why she does it and on meds its no issue. They dont usually have as much problem listening to others as they do the primary parent they are around the most. My husband the listen to easy. Me its a whole nother story. Its getting better but they are still young so cant really say OCD for them since its improving with age.

Quoting lilmrsmchenry:“ I hate to say it but I think it is just an 8 year old boy thing. I saw it all the time while working in a primary school. Gotta love the start of puberty...............”

I was afraid someone would say the "P" word... Hes too young for that!!   But really, thats kind of what he acts like, a hormonal teenager! Ah, well...  

Is he the same way with his dad?? Does he do this when you are alone with him? My kids are 13 and 5. My son is the 13 year old and he's getting sassier with time!! He thinks he can pull this crap when my hubby isn't around. Sometimes he does it in front of his dad but he gets cut off by him pretty quick. He apologizes to me but I know it's only because of his dad.

Quoting Booja95:“ Is he the same way with his dad?? Does he do this when you are alone with him? My kids are 13 and 5. ... [snip!] ... it in front of his dad but he gets cut off by him pretty quick. He apologizes to me but I know it's only because of his dad.”

YES!!!!! He ONLY acts like this with me!!!! He does not try any of his attitude or even the plain ole "I am clueless as to what you could be talking about" stuff if his dad is home, or a ny other ppl for that matter... He does not do it in school (I had a meeting with his teacher) he does not do it to his grandparents! I think that is why I get so frustrated too, bc my hubby says I am just not hard enough on him, and that I am a push-over and thats why he only acts that way with me.

I feel for you!! Try taking something away. I did this when his grades started to drop. He turned into an Honor Roll student. The attitude did get better for a while. I think he's getting sassier now because he is becoming a teen-ager and sees what his friends are doing. Don't get me wrong, he can be good. He's just been such a s**t lately!! I know I'm a push-over. When hubby isn't there, I tend to just give in and give up!! Totally my fault!! I'm TRYING to get better!! LOL

Quoting Booja95:“ I feel for you!! Try taking something away. I did this when his grades started to drop. He turned into ... [snip!] ... I'm a push-over. When hubby isn't there, I tend to just give in and give up!! Totally my fault!! I'm TRYING to get better!! LOL”

Yeah me too... And we have taken stuff away and eliminated priviledges, but it only seems to work temporarily... A cpl weeks later we are right where we were... Ah well, one day at a time  

Ok I have a 9 year old and we have similar issues. What I found really works is this. Catch him doing something good and make a HUGE issue out of it. TRY really hard to ignore the behaviors that just "push your buttons" - it's hard but it's really better. Of course let him know that the behavior isn't correct and then ask him what he could have done differently. For his smart mouth - this is what we did. We have given our son a scholastic dictionary and after 3 warnings of his smart mouth he gets 100 words. He has to write them down and DEFINE them. IF he continues he gets 200 and so on. Believe me, it's taken about 8 months of this, but he finally got it! There is NO playtime, tv, gaming, NOTHING until his words are done. I just let him know to tell me when he's finished. OHhhhh...they will test you. One day he passed the 3 warnings and got 100 words and did them really quickly, then he did the SAME thing and got 200 - it took him ALL weekend to do them. (he's was really goofing off in his room) however there was no park, no pool, no playtime outside, nothing - only dinner, bath and the 'normal' stuff. This solution really has turned out to be a god send - just a suggestion. I wish you the best of luck.
Final note: we don't believe in spanking - however it's very important that your children KNOW that you love them and also that you are the parent and need to be treated like a parent - not one of their friends. Boundaries...it's harder with boys I think. My daughter was much easier.

Quoting Cindie:“ Ok I have a 9 year old and we have similar issues. What I found really works is this. Catch him doing ... [snip!] ... be treated like a parent - not one of their friends. Boundaries...it's harder with boys I think. My daughter was much easier.”

Thank you I am going to try that!!!! It will be easier to do now, too, we are finally moving into a house where he will have his own room... He was sharing with his sister, and well, she did not help him in the concentration dept and being only 2, it was hard to make her understand why she could not go in her room and play... Thank you!!!!!!   We spank, but to be honest, it does not phase Nik at all... The next closest thing that worked was taking priviledges and adding chores, but it did not last long bc to be honest when he started testing me by not doing them right, I got so fed up I just grounded him to his room...  
Edited to add: I parentanked you!!