Serious Custody Decision.

Ladies, I need advice. I'm so torn.

My dad is an attorney and wants to "adopt" my kids, his grand kids. Not in the sense that he takes over rights and the kids go live with him but in the sense that my SD will no longer have any rights at all to the kids if he were to try and take me to court for visitation. I'll still be 100% mom. Havee 100% of my rights, they will still live with me but I'M SO TORN. Because, you've read any of my other posts, me and my parents don't have the best relationship actually it's pretty bad. And I don't want them to hold this over my head and ever try to take the kids away from me just because they would have more rights than regular grandparents at that point. One thing I know for sure is that I don't want that sorry SOB anywhere near my kids and this will completely stop that. Still i'm not signing any papers until i talk to a third party attorney tomorrow. But the reason this all came about even though my parents have tried discussing it with me a few times and i've been completely resistant to it is because this morning SD's grandmother came over with two of his younger siblings. ( I have no problem with his family being involved in the kid's lives.) But she said something that made me very uncomfortable. She said that now that they are garnishing his checks since last month. I barely got the damn card two days ago. That he has rights to take me to court and that he does want to see them! YEAH RIGHT. I went off on her told her if that's how she feels then she doesn't need to see the kids either because over my dead body is he gonna see those kids and be the in and out "oh i think i'll see them when it's convenient for me." SD he's been for the last two yrs. And i told her! "HE'S" not paying child support!? He's been working at a McDonald's in this new town he lives in for almost a year now! THE STATE is GARNISHING HIS CHECK. HE himself never said you know what here let me start sending the kids money every month!! She told me herself when i told her that i was pursuing CS that his gf was pissed when she found out they were taking half his money!

I JUST NEED SOME SERIOUS ADVICE.

How is your dad getting custody going to stop him from having rights to his children? If he is paying child support, proven to be the biological father and is fit the court system will still let him have rights to his children and see them. Which if he's doing everything right he should be allowed to see them.

I'm missing something somewhere.

your ex needs to sign off on signing the rights away. i think you should let him go for custody what is the harm in it?

If you don't have a good relationship with your parents then, no. I would not do it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ChristinaLynne:</b>" How is your dad getting custody going to stop him from having rights to his children? If he is paying ... [snip!] ... and see them. Which if he's doing everything right he should be allowed to see them. I'm missing something somewhere."</blockquote>




i agree.

Not positive about this but I think BD would have to sign his rights away and so would you for your dad to adopt. I don't think he will (just based on your post) so I do not think it would do any good for you to so that your dad could adopt. Another thing is that your parents may be wonderful people but based on your post you all have had trouble in the past so I would not do it. If you sign your rights (even if they live with you) BD could possibly get them full time before your dad. I would look into all that as I am not sure about any of it. Good luck!

Quoting ChristinaLynne:" How is your dad getting custody going to stop him from having rights to his children? If he is paying ... [snip!] ... and see them. Which if he's doing everything right he should be allowed to see them. I'm missing something somewhere."

Where i live, the law is after 6 months of no contact with your children, if someone is willing to adopt them, (my dad but not in the true sense of adoption like i said. They're still 100% my kids i'd still have 100% rights) it will render the SD's rights terminated.

He is NOT doing everything right!! HE'S doing nothing at all!!

Quoting Turtle™:" If you don't have a good relationship with your parents then, no. I would not do it."

That's why i've been hesitant about it.

Your BD would need to sign his rights away for your dad to get "custody." And to get rights terminated, I think it's a bit more complicated, especially if the father is paying child support and supposedly attempting to see them/get visitation.

And that sounds like... out of the frying pan, into the fire. No reason.

My friend did this. But the only way her parents got full custody was the bd gave up his rights and therefore stopped child support as well. It's not that easy. I'd think about it if I were you.

Quoting JoAnna &hearts's Jett:" My friend did this. But the only way her parents got full custody was the bd gave up his rights and therefore stopped child support as well. It's not that easy. I'd think about it if I were you."

I know it's a huge decision. I don't care about the child support. I barely started getting it last month and barely saw any of it two days ago. Other than that it's been all me for the last 2 yrs. So. CS is the least of my concerns right now. But my dad is an attorney and he can have the documents drawn up by tomorrow morning my SD does NOT have to give up his rights because the statute here is 6 months of no contact = eligibility for someone to adopt without permission of absent parent.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cami+Two:</b>" I know it's a huge decision. I don't care about the child support. I barely started getting it last ... [snip!] ... because the statute here is 6 months of no contact = eligibility for someone to adopt without permission of absent parent."</blockquote>




if you want your dad to adopt them, you would have to give your rights up too.

Quoting anonymom + 1.5:" Your BD would need to sign his rights away for your dad to get "custody." And to get rights terminated, ... [snip!] ... and supposedly attempting to see them/get visitation. And that sounds like... out of the frying pan, into the fire. No reason."

He's not PAYING child support!! THE STATE is GARNISHING his checks!! It's not like he's been sending me money since he started working because he cared about the welfare of his kids. NO. THE state is taking the money he has no say and if he did i would never see a DIME.

Quoting Link:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cami+Two:</b>" I know it's a huge decision. I don't care about ... [snip!] ... of absent parent."</blockquote> if you want your dad to adopt them, you would have to give your rights up too."

No i wouldn't. It would be like me meeting a man that wanted to adopt my kids. I wouldn't have to give up my rights then and i won't now. But in this case my dad is stepping in to take half rights so that the SD won't have them anymore.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cami+Two:</b>" He's not PAYING child support!! THE STATE is GARNISHING his checks!! It's not like he's been sending ... [snip!] ... he cared about the welfare of his kids. NO. THE state is taking the money he has no say and if he did i would never see a DIME."</blockquote>




sounds like you are bitching about cs.... and that's it.