Does this sound like favoritism?

My fiance has 4 children from a previous marriage and I have 2 children as well. Anyways, his ex sent his 10 year old daughter to stay with us because her mother said she couldn't handle her. We have been together for a while now and this us not the first time we have had his children stay with us. Since she has been here we have been arguing because he shows favoritism towards his daughter. The first thing is that his daughter said," this sucks", he told her, honey we don't talk like that here. My 5 year old said, "you suck" and he gave him a time out and scolded him. Im 35 weeks pregnant and suppose to stay on bed rest with bathroom privileges but He wants us to go do things because his daughter is here. I told him, Im not going to do that when I can't do them with my own children. Also, I had to throw out dinner because the kids wouldn't eat, so I told them no snacks if you can't eat dinner. I put my kids to bed and he gives his daughter a ice cream cone. Not only that, we have two cats and have told his daughter constantly not to keep messing with them. If my son messes with them, he tells my son to stand in the corner, go to his room or sit on the couch. When she does the same thing it's.... honey, we told you not to do that. He also took the kids fishing but the only one that he made a point of telling anyone about taking fishing was his daughter. I tell people about the kids not just mine all of them. I stick to the same rules for all of them because it's not fair to treat them differently. He said, he's not showing favoritism but that's not what it seems like. Does it seem like favoritism to anyone else?

Yeah that definitly sounds like favortism

Ya big time! That's not ok.

Thank you, I dont think it's fair to make my children follow the rules but his doesn't have to because we don't have them all time. His daughter was sent to stay with us because of her misbehavior at her mothers. I would say she needs the discipline and rules. My children shouldnt be the only ones that have to follow them. Besides, we don't have a lot rules for them to follow but all the children in the house should have to abide by the same rules and have the same punishment for breaking them.

I think it definitely sounds like favoritism. If I were you, I'd sit down with him and just say something like "Since our household has changed, I think we should discuss rules for the children and punishments for breaking them to make sure we're on the same page." That opens the door for you two to talk without attacking him. Then you can bring up the things you've mentioned to us gently and explain to him that you feel it's unfair and the children need to have equal and age appropriate punishments for breaking the same rules. If she's 10 and your son is 5, there's no reason he should be standing in the corner if she's only getting "that's not ok".

Sounds to me like he's trying to ease her into the household. I mean she already hates being there, he's probably afraid treating her like the rest of the kids from the get go is going to make her hate him more.

Quoting Meep:" Sounds to me like he's trying to ease her into the household. I mean she already hates being there, he's ... [snip!] ... being there, he's probably afraid treating her like the rest of the kids from the get go is going to make her hate him more."

I dont know how you came to that conclusion! She wanted to come stay with us! She doesn't hate being here or anything like that. Her mom sent her to stay with us because she couldn't handle her but she told her mom that she would rather be here.