On 6/15/11, I was at a clinic sitting in the waiting room, not knowing what i really wanted to do, I had no one by my side, no one to tell me "don't do it". My heart beat got faster as my name was called by the MA, I cried as i waited for the Dr. to come in......as it was happening i started hating myself. It wasn't easy, but unfortunately it was necessary. I have never stopped thinking about "him" (as i referred to the baby) til this day i feel the same empty hole in my heart. I thought it'd get easier as time went by, but it hasn't. I have been so depressed about it, I started lactating today and i think my depression is affecting my hormones. I guess this 'emotional estate' shall eventually pass too...
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