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posted 16th Jun '12

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I have 1 child & live in California

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LumpySpacePrincess

17001 posts

posted 16th Jun '12

I think it's a tough decision that needs a lot of talking through. That said, some people just have a feeling as to what is right and won't budge.

I gave my children SOs last name even though we aren't married but it just never occured to me not to. He's always going to be there and be a part of his childrens lives so I'm not upset about it at all.

I have 2 kids & live in New Zealand

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Dovahkiinonline

13352 posts

posted 16th Jun '12

Names are easy enough to change. If you aren't married, give her your last name for now. If you two end up married, you can change it to his last name.

I always think children should inherit their father's last name if the father is involved though. JMO.

I have 1 angel baby & live in Kentucky

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Proud momma 87

607 posts

posted 16th Jun '12

I'm not married to my SO but he's the father to both my children and they have his last name. If u plan on getting married why change it later. Also if your asking if you go to court over the child and custody if you don't work out it has nothing to do with what the child's last name it has to do with where the child would be best

I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Ohio

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¿ ¼ ¿

70076 posts

posted 16th Jun '12

If you both agree on the name change then it will be easy to change it to his. I don't see why it's a big deal to give your LO your last name and then change it later.

I have 3 kids & live in Memphis, Tennessee

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posted 16th Jun '12

I gave my son his fathers last name. I didnt give it any second thought. And I dont regret it. We were together for 6 years before we split.

I live in Fiorina, San Marino

Sarbearrrrr

717 posts

posted 16th Jun '12

Quoting Freckles Ford:" Names are easy enough to change. If you aren't married, give her your last name for now. If you two end ... [snip!] ... it to his last name. I always think children should inherit their father's last name if the father is involved though. JMO. "

He is very much involved... I'm just worried that if we don't end up together & I do end up being alone, it will have his last name & in the long run when I am signing paperwork for whatever cause, have it be court / etc, they will look at me differently or something..

I have 1 child & live in California

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RissaBbyGurl

298 posts

posted 16th Jun '12

My BD and I got in a huuuge fight over the last name thing cuz I decided I was going to give my baby my last name. I thought it would be wierd if my son was five years old with a different last name as his mommy. And we aren't married. However, my decision quickly was shot down by my BD and he was SOOO mad because he thinks the baby having his last name is really important..which kinda made me mad because I was like "well if its so important for OUR baby to have YOUR last name, why isn't it important for me to have the last name as well?" -.- but thats a fight I wont win lol. *Shruggs*. Guys are just big on having the same last name as their babies, well if they are in the picture at least

I have 1 child & live in Arizona

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posted 16th Jun '12

Quoting SRAD:" He is very much involved... I'm just worried that if we don't end up together & I do end up being ... [snip!] ... run when I am signing paperwork for whatever cause, have it be court / etc, they will look at me differently or something.."

They wont look at you any differently...

I live in Fiorina, San Marino

Dovahkiinonline

13352 posts

posted 16th Jun '12

Quoting SRAD:" He is very much involved... I'm just worried that if we don't end up together & I do end up being ... [snip!] ... run when I am signing paperwork for whatever cause, have it be court / etc, they will look at me differently or something.."

They won't look at you weirdly. A lot of children have different surnames than their parents. More women are keeping their maiden names these days anyway.

I have 1 angel baby & live in Kentucky

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TashaMorgan

1797 posts

posted 16th Jun '12

Why not give her both? Hyphenate it. When we had DS we weren't married and so he got Morgan-Johnson. Morgan is my husbands last name and Johnson is my maiden name. Both kids now have the double last name.

I have 2 kids & live in Ladysmith, British Columbia

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posted 16th Jun '12

Quoting RissaBbyGurl:" My BD and I got in a huuuge fight over the last name thing cuz I decided I was going to give my baby ... [snip!] ... win lol. *Shruggs*. Guys are just big on having the same last name as their babies, well if they are in the picture at least"

No... it wont be weird for mother and son having different last names... its very common.

I live in Fiorina, San Marino

¿ ¼ ¿

70076 posts

posted 16th Jun '12

Quoting SRAD:" He is very much involved... I'm just worried that if we don't end up together & I do end up being ... [snip!] ... run when I am signing paperwork for whatever cause, have it be court / etc, they will look at me differently or something.."

No, you just won't be able to change your LO's name to yours if he doesn't agree. Some people have said it can be difficult with school/appointments and such when the dad isn't around but I don't have any personal experience with it.

I have 3 kids & live in Memphis, Tennessee

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posted 16th Jun '12

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I live in Fiorina, San Marino

LumpySpacePrincess

17001 posts

posted 16th Jun '12

No one looks at me weirdly. Well, the kind of do but only cos my kids name sounds more African than anything and then they look at my white ass kids like wait what?

But because it's different than mine? Nah. I said once what about LO having my last name before he was born and then changing it later on if we get married like it had been suggested here but SO felt like I was holding the name ransom until marriage. Like a bribe KWIM? I wasn't, honestly just thinking out loud really. But I can also see where he's coming from.