Forums > Abortion SurvivorsPage 1 2by: mommytobeornotbe111

is this fair?

posted 15th Jun '12
Well I'm just wondering if a girl gets pregnnt behind her man's back and he already says he doesn't want ny at the moment... She does it so it can save their marriage instead oit seems that terminating would save it nd she doesn't want to but she kind of caused it on her does she deserve to deal with it this way? This is pretty much what's happening to me... Advice?
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posted 15th Jun '12
I don't think it's fair at all for the guy, he clearly said he wasnt ready just because you push it doesnt make him anymore ready.
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I have 1 child & 1 angel baby & live in Georgia
posted 15th Jun '12
I don't think that was fair to him at all.

But, you have to do what is best for you and your family and only you can make that decision. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.
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I have 2 kids & live in Suva, Fiji
posted 15th Jun '12
Quoting Hailee's Mama + 1:" I don't think it's fair at all for the guy, he clearly said he wasnt ready just because you push it doesnt make him anymore ready."
 

My husband would be furious with me if I got pregnant "behind his back" like saying i took BC but didn't. IT isn't fair to him at all. We have a great marriage and I bet we would STRUGGLE after that.. The trust being gone for one.
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I have 2 kids & live in Holmen, Wisconsin
posted 15th Jun '12
if the person didnt want a baby how could someone think it would save something at all if its not wanted?
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I have 2 kids & live in Iowa
posted 15th Jun '12
Quoting pumpkin & monster fetus:" if the person didnt want a baby how could someone think it would save something at all if its not wanted?"

This!!
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I'm due February 3rd, have 2 kids & live in Utah
posted 15th Jun '12
Quoting Hailee's Mama + 1:" I don't think it's fair at all for the guy, he clearly said he wasnt ready just because you push it doesnt make him anymore ready."




yeah that's what I hear a lot...
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posted 15th Jun '12
It's not like she "deserves it" but she put herself into that situation.
But for the guy... totally not fair.
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I have 1 child & live in Spain
posted 15th Jun '12
Quoting Kool-Aid Fraud [35w]:" I don't think that was fair to him at all. But, you have to do what is best for you and your family and only you can make that decision. Good luck with whatever you choose to do. "




well my priorities are my relationship. I always thought he wanted kids once I got pregnant I thought he'd accept it but hasn't so I guess that leaves me to do what's best for us really...
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posted 15th Jun '12
Quoting mommytobeornotbe111:" well my priorities are my relationship. I always thought he wanted kids once I got pregnant I thought he'd accept it but hasn't so I guess that leaves me to do what's best for us really..."

Try to improve the communication in your relationship.
And if you want it that bad, you should talk to him and do what is best for the two of you.
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I have 1 child & live in Spain
posted 15th Jun '12
Imo, ya smurfed up. But if you want this baby, even just a little, dont sacrifice the baby just because you screwed up, and he says he isnt ready. Tons of people arent ready, but they get ready when its time. They have to. Just be 100% positive that this relationship that you jeopardized for this baby in the first place, is good enough to make the decision to not keep it. You dont want him ready later, and then regret having an abortion.
quotesmurfs?
I'm due May 19th (a girl), have 1 child & live in Whitesboro, Oklahoma
posted 15th Jun '12
If he does not want a baby then he should be doing something as well to prevent it happening, I do believe that a baby can save a relationship it just prolongs the break up and makes you more unhappy and stressed for longer because you have a child to think about. If you feel that you can take care of the baby alone then good luck in your decision I am sure that you will make the right one for you.

Good luck.
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I'm TTC since March '13, have 5 kids & live in United Kingdom
posted 17th Jun '12
Quoting Angel Lamb:" Imo, ya smurfed up. But if you want this baby, even just a little, dont sacrifice the baby just because ... [snip!] ... place, is good enough to make the decision to not keep it. You dont want him ready later, and then regret having an abortion. "
This, completely. Good luck with your decision.
quotesmurfs?
I have 1 child & live in Indiana
posted 18th Jun '12
Quoting mommytobeornotbe111:" Well I'm just wondering if a girl gets pregnnt behind her man's back and he already says he doesn't want ... [snip!] ... she kind of caused it on her does she deserve to deal with it this way? This is pretty much what's happening to me... Advice?"
A baby NEVER saves a marrage. A baby puts strain on a marrage. It's not fair to the guy and horrible to do to both the baby and the man.
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I'm due June 25th (a girl) & live in Ottawa, Ontario
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