re: I feel horrible!!

aside from all this drug stuff, just... when she pushes her away, sometimes it's her saying 'hold me close'.

have you ever thought about getting yourself off? it may not be as satisfying as sex, but it'll relieve the pressure on you, and on her. just hold her close, as she said, she just seems fat in her eyes, tell her she's beautiful, and that you think so because it's both of your miracles inside her, and she's doing something amazing. that's how my husband always makes me feel better, even though i'm barely showing now. just to know that he appreciates everything that i'm doing [or not doing at this point]. life is hard, you have to adjust as best as you can. it'll be even harder when the baby gets here, so take some time to yourselves.

Quoting Carm:“ I didn't say to find religion, because religion won't help. Yes, a drug councelor might be something ... [snip!] ... just talking about him quitting smoking weed. I was talking about all the other things he seems to be having problems with.”

Well let me tell you. religion has never been a help for me. I used to be really religious person but that flew out the window when my dad tried to stab himself the day after I tried to pray for him a church. There is no god, and if there is he's a sadistic bastard who doesn't see us as anything but little play things to entertain himself with. Sorry so rash all of a sudden but I really don't like to be told to try to find religion.

Again, I didn't say to find religion. There is a difference in having a relationship with God and "religion". "Religion" is not going to help, you have to have a true relationship with God, and it will always be your choice he's not going to force himself on you and I can't make you do anything. I just know what he has done for me and the relationship I have with God. I've been through trials also and was hurt deeply, however I did have God to lean on and was comforted by his love. I was just wanting to share with you, you were asking for advice. I hope and pray everything works out for you, John. Congratulations on your son.