help! i've lost my husband.

I'm sorry this is long, but i really need some input. this is my 3rd baby( c-sectiion in 6 wks) . there is a 10 year difference since my last. i have really wanted sex, but my husband has only touched me maybe 3 times the whole time. i have repeatedly talked to him and told him how much i wanted it, but he keeps blaming me saying i'm always hurting and don't feel good. The kicker is that i have caught him several times on porn sites (a lot of them) on his phone. i've cried and told him many times that it makes me feel like he isn't attracted to me and makes me feel fat and ugly and that i want him all the time. it don't help and he still does it. he wasn't like this with the other pregnancies. we've been married for almost 15 years. a little over a year ago he had an affair and left me for a month for a scank. i've never got over that and now this. what do i do? i'm tired of hurting and being alone.

Two options. Stay and work it out or Leave.

Sex sounds like the least of your problems and from the tone of your message it sounds like you blame the woman he cheated with more than him.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Monkey Nuts:</b>" Two options. Stay and work it out or Leave. Sex sounds like the least of your problems and from the tone of your message it sounds like you blame the woman he cheated with more than him."</blockquote>



This!

Have you thought of counseling? Maybe he is feeling remorse or regret for his decision and feels wrong trying to have sex with you? I think you need talk with him. If he is unwilling to go to counseling I would part ways. Best of luck to you mama.

I'm not even sure what to tell you with this since if my husband ever cheated within our marriage he'd be hitting the road. But if you're talking to him and not complaining to him and he's still not listening maybe try to see if he would do some counselling. It could help you out alot too with his infidelities.

My husband wouldn't touch me toward the end of our 2nd child but it was because he was afraid of making me go into labor (which is dumb because I had a normal pregnancy).

i know that is my two options, and i blame him the most for the affair even though she knew about me. the reason i said scank is because its an easier way than saying a herpies infested dope whore out for money from anybody. i've been trying to work things out for months, and not getting nowhere. i'm just tired of being hurt and crying all the time

With your name being "floormat" that sends huge red flags. Poor woman

I have slept with one person and have genitsl herpes so I find your response offensive.

It's not on her that you were married to him. It's honestly not.

Also some men just aren't attracted to pregnant women, it freaks or grosses them out.

You appear to have some issues from not dealing with the cheating. Was the baby planned as an effort to fix your marriage? Did he want another child?

the reason i've stuck it out this long is because 1. i love him sooo much, we've been together since i got out of high school and 2. our oldest daughter is severly epeleptic and a big daddies girl. i'm afraid of what it will do to her.

Quoting °NoName™°¯\_(ツ)_/¯:" With your name being "floormat" that sends huge red flags. Poor woman"

I was thinking that too.

Staying together for the children is not a recipe for happiness. It never works. Children cope and adapt even if they have some issues eventually they will be ok.

Quoting floormat33:" I'm sorry this is long, but i really need some input. this is my 3rd baby( c-sectiion in 6 wks) . there ... [snip!] ... and left me for a month for a scank. i've never got over that and now this. what do i do? i'm tired of hurting and being alone."

Well how does he feel about everything? When you talk to him does he give you any insight into his emotional state? Is he excited about the baby?
If you physically initiate sex does he pull away? Masturbating is a normal occurrence with men and they kind of need to do it to let tension go, they use porn because they are very visual beings. But not satisfying you when you want some intimacy is a real problem. He might take the fact that you complain that you don't feel like it right then, so maybe taking his pants off and TMI rubbing on his member might let him know you really, really want it! If he pulls away, then it is time for serious talking.

i'm sorry, i didn't mean to offend anyone. you would just have to know this woman. everyone from here knows and says the same things when her name is mentioned. she just sleeps and jumps man from man to get her fix. the baby wasn't planned. i have pos and didn't think i could get preg or it was really hard to. i had just lost one 4 months before.

I think you just need to confront your husband. Look into relationship counselling and see how you both feel about it then.

Quoting floormat33:" i'm sorry, i didn't mean to offend anyone. you would just have to know this woman. everyone from here ... [snip!] ... wasn't planned. i have pos and didn't think i could get preg or it was really hard to. i had just lost one 4 months before."

Since you lost a baby 4 months ago, do you think the fear of you losing another one if he has sex with you is a possibility on why he doesn't want to have sex?

Quoting leighleigh111:" Well how does he feel about everything? When you talk to him does he give you any insight into his emotional ... [snip!] ... TMI rubbing on his member might let him know you really, really want it! If he pulls away, then it is time for serious talking."

he says he's dreading a new baby in the house, i haven't turned him away, not once. i have told him many times how much i want it. I wouldn't care about the porn if it was in addition to me, instead of me.