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You need to re train your emotional response. Look at why your angry, when did it start. What are your triggers.

I've seen my SO turn literally psychotic from people saying certain things. He ha contioned himself to act this way under certain situations

While I have come extremely close to losing control before, I don't recall any time that I was actually incapable of doing something to release my anger, even if it was walking away from someone and punching a wall.

Some people would see punching a wall as losing it, but for me it was a calculated decision to release that anger in a way that wouldn't hurt anyone.

Is your therapist not helping you with this issue? Might you seek a different therapist who specializes?

Yes, I do. It's horrible, but I'm not in therapy for it or taking meds, perhaps I should be. I've learned to sort of avoid the situations that trigger my anger when I know I'm in a mood that will likely make me lose control... did that make any sense?

Quoting Monkey Nuts:" You need to re train your emotional response. Look at why your angry, when did it start. What are your ... [snip!] ... SO turn literally psychotic from people saying certain things. He ha contioned himself to act this way under certain situations"

Lately what has been my trigger is BD's new girlfriend. We have to go through an exchange center and his GF is ALWAYS there. Has been since day 1 and they haven't even been together a month yet.

I feel embarrassed and ashamed in saying this, but I've drove by her a few times and yelled stuff at her. Profanity along with things that shouldn't have been said. I have realized it probably wasn't the best idea and have stopped. But every time I go there, I really REALLY have to try not to say anything or even drive by her.

<blockquote><b>Quoting MJ's Mama♥:</b>" Lately what has been my trigger is BD's new girlfriend. We have to go through an exchange center and ... [snip!] ... best idea and have stopped. But every time I go there, I really REALLY have to try not to say anything or even drive by her."</blockquote>


I don't understand why she would be there. It's stupid and I can understand your anger.

But from the legal issues you've posted about. You have to view your daughter as the motivation to control your anger.

What If you lost it and ended up in jail and that whore of 5 minutes is raising your baby.

For me that would be enough to motivate me towards being indifferent until she is out of your life.

Quoting kravenscookiejar:" While I have come extremely close to losing control before, I don't recall any time that I was actually ... [snip!] ... hurt anyone. Is your therapist not helping you with this issue? Might you seek a different therapist who specializes?"

I just recently started therapy again. I hope it helps!

Quoting MJ's Mama♥:" I just recently started therapy again. I hope it helps!"

I hope so, too! I imagine it can't be easy feeling this way. I sincerely hope you are able to find a happy place  

Quoting Monkey Nuts:" <blockquote><b>Quoting MJ's Mama♥:</b>" Lately what has been my trigger is ... [snip!] ... is raising your baby. For me that would be enough to motivate me towards being indifferent until she is out of your life."

This is EXACTLY what I've been thinking. If I didn't care about going to jail I honestly probably would have beaten her ass already. I know violence isn't the answer, but whenever I get so angry I just lose it. I kinda black out.

Quoting Lil Dude's Mamma:" Yes, I do. It's horrible, but I'm not in therapy for it or taking meds, perhaps I should be. I've learned ... [snip!] ... situations that trigger my anger when I know I'm in a mood that will likely make me lose control... did that make any sense?"

Made sense!   You should look into therapy. I hope you can over come this as well!

You have to retrain your brain to handle the anger response. My default emotion is anger because its easier for me to be angry instead of showing how I really feel (sad, hurt, etc). I've been through anger management twice (and yes, it is a joke) and have also tried therapy. Neither worked for me because I wasn't ready to let go of my anger. For the last year I have been practicing Zen Buddhism, which has really helped me to retrain my brain. Zen teaches you in a way you can understand how to let go and let be. And Zen is nice because its not full blown Buddhism. Its more of a way to live your life than something you have to believe in.

You need something positive to redirect too. Its not easy to do.