re: If you cheated...

I would never cheat, I'm a Catholic and I'd be forever guilty!   But just to answer your question, yes, I would tell my husband. It would eat me alive day in and day out if I kep that to myself. It's just not me.

No, I wouldn't. Or rather, no, I didn't. It avoided a lot of problems (I kept all my teeth, for instance, and several other men didn't get their asses kicked) and I ended up leaving anyway.

About the question, "Would I want him to tell me if he were cheating?" Actually, I'd just want him to cut to the chase and end the relationship instead of stringing me along like that. That's what I should have done and didn't, and that's the lesson I learned. Our time is valuable, I wasted a lot of it fucking around (literally) while still tied to a life I didn't want.

Moreover, cheating is stressful. You're always watching your back, making one more lie to cover another, and feeling really bad about the whole situation because you know it's wrong, even when you're doing it for revenge. At least for me, there is no such thing as guilt-free cheating. It's just better to pack your bags and move on.

i cheated on my bf 3 months into our relationship. i told him. he got mad.. but he eventually forgive me. we worked past it and now we have a 5 month old little girl

I would never cheat on anybody! I couldnt do it. I would feel horrible about, it would eat me alive! I guess if I did I would tell the guy.

Quoting Whitney Pie.:“ I would never cheat, I'm a Catholic and I'd be forever guilty!   But just to answer your question, ... [snip!] ... question, yes, I would tell my husband. It would eat me alive day in and day out if I kep that to myself. It's just not me.”

I'm Catholic and attended a Catholic University for years and Catholic girls are always the worst.

Quoting meridian:“ No, I wouldn't. Or rather, no, I didn't. It avoided a lot of problems (I kept all my teeth, for instance, ... [snip!] ... it for revenge. At least for me, there is no such thing as guilt-free cheating. It's just better to pack your bags and move on.”

You can't remember half the crap you lie about....

I always tell my boyfriends (you know I'm married now) that if they feel the need to cheat, do me the favor and break it off before it happens because I deserve that much. That way they know from the getgo....

I would never want my husband to cheat, but my biggest fear with cheating is that he will develope an emotional attatchment to that woman. Sure, knowing they had sex would kill me and I'd never sleep with him again - in fact, I'd divorce him even quicker than if he got drunk again (you know the story)....but knowing he grew attached to her would hurt me more.

Yes, I would. First of all I have never cheated [but I have been cheated ON] and I can't see myself ever letting a situation go that far. I'm HUGE about cheating -- it's an extremely BIG deal to me.
Secondly, if I did for some reason cheat [unfortunately I have known very loyal people who have cheated on their significant other -- it seems that anyone is capable] I would fess up. Why add ANOTHER lie to the mix? Obviously it's a bad situation AS IS but if my guy FOUND OUT, and I hadn't told him, that'd be like a triple-whammy. First you cheated, second you didn't tell me and tried to make it better, third you kept a lie going. Not good.
I am Christian so I am big on the entire forgiveness thing -- I have seen a lot of married couples go thru cheating, then go thru therapy, and come out with an even STRONGER relationship. As far as bf/gf go I would probably expect seperation but for a married couple I would expect maturity, honesty, etc. Obviously the person cheated for a REASON... which means both parties in the relationship are probably at fault!

So yea... tell him... that's what I would do.

Quoting pinkpigeon:“ Yes, I would. First of all I have never cheated [but I have been cheated ON] and I can't see myself ever ... [snip!] ... REASON... which means both parties in the relationship are probably at fault! So yea... tell him... that's what I would do.”

If my husband cheated, I'd never stay with him. I commend those who go to therapy/counseling, but But I cannot look at him in the face and not think of him cheating on me. I'd never be able to have sex with him and I'd never let him live that down. The second you decide to cheat is bad enough, much less actually going through with it. I'd leave him and move back to Chicago with our son....even if he didn't like it, I'd remind him that 1: he made me stay in Arizona, knowing it sucks here and knowing how unhappy I was, and all for this marriage, which is a sham if he cheats, and 2: the fact that I deserve happiness and he owes it to me.

Quoting whorebagslutfacemonster:“ telling him IS selfish is most cases. people fess up to that stuff for their own peace of mind. if you're ... [snip!] ... than being selfish. i've even heard psychologists and therapists and doctors say sometimes it is actually better to not tell.”

I think it depends on your spouse. I KNOW K.would want me to tell him if I ever cheated (which would be kind of stupid for me to do seeing as we have a theoretically open relationship, heh, so no need to go behind his back even if I was tempted to).

C.

Quoting meridian:“ No, I wouldn't. Or rather, no, I didn't. It avoided a lot of problems (I kept all my teeth, for instance, ... [snip!] ... it for revenge. At least for me, there is no such thing as guilt-free cheating. It's just better to pack your bags and move on.”

Apparently to this girl there is:

http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about223488.html

Quoting God:“ I think it depends on your spouse. I KNOW K.would want me to tell him if I ever cheated (which would ... [snip!] ... to do seeing as we have a theoretically open relationship, heh, so no need to go behind his back even if I was tempted to). C.”

I agree but also think it depends on you. If you would want to know then dont you have a moral responsibility to tell them? I mean if you dont know if they would want to know or not. My husband and I had talked about itbecause we seen friends and friends spouses cheat if it ever happened we would want to know.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ I agree but also think it depends on you. If you would want to know then dont you have a moral responsibility ... [snip!] ... husband and I had talked about itbecause we seen friends and friends spouses cheat if it ever happened we would want to know.”

Good question. I guess you'd have to use your best judgment as to whether or not it would be in your particular s/os best interest to tell them or not in that case.

C.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ I agree but also think it depends on you. If you would want to know then dont you have a moral responsibility ... [snip!] ... husband and I had talked about itbecause we seen friends and friends spouses cheat if it ever happened we would want to know.”

I agree. My bf and I talked about this situation a long time ago. We both said we'd want to know if either one of us cheated on the other. Of course we always said we'd then break up but we have been thru so much and our beliefs are rooted in Faith that now we'd still want to know, but we believe we could work thru it.
IN THE END communication is key.

Quoting pinkpigeon:“ I agree. My bf and I talked about this situation a long time ago. We both said we'd want to know if ... [snip!] ... are rooted in Faith that now we'd still want to know, but we believe we could work thru it. IN THE END communication is key.”

Mine said he wouldnt leave me and would want to try counseling to figure out why it happened but the guy better become invisible or he's in trouble. lol. I dont know if we would break up if either of us cheated but I think we would have to take a break and re-evaluate the relationship.

Quoting Future_Chicago_Cubs_Mommy:“ So how did he react to you once he found out?”

Basically he just asked me if I had been with him. I told him that I had but that it happened before me and him were together. It was a lie, but I didn't want it to ruin my relationship. I know it was wrong to lie to him but i knew it would break up our family