re: If you cheated...

Quoting Erica (MizAmERICA):“ I agree 100 percent...If I knew I would never do it again, why would I want to tell him and cause him that pain because I fucked up?”

Good that you feel this way - I completely agree.....everyone makes mistakes and I know I would NOT want him to tell me if he did - as long as it only happened once, and even then if it happened more than once, I still want to be "left in the dark".....

It would ruin me and I would hate him, even though he's our son's father. I don't want to hate him.

Quoting Erica (MizAmERICA):“ I agree 100 percent...If I knew I would never do it again, why would I want to tell him and cause him that pain because I fucked up?”

I think the other has a right to know because the moment you have sex with someone else, you introduce the possibility of STIs into the equation, even if you used a condom. No matter how painful, the other person has a right to know for safety reasons.

C.

Quoting God:“ I think the other has a right to know because the moment you have sex with someone else, you introduce ... [snip!] ... the equation, even if you used a condom. No matter how painful, the other person has a right to know for safety reasons. C.”

Well that's very true as well...that didn't really come to mind when making this post though lol...

I'm just glad I'm not in that situation, I couldn't imagine the thoughts I owuld think!

Quoting God:“ I think the other has a right to know because the moment you have sex with someone else, you introduce ... [snip!] ... the equation, even if you used a condom. No matter how painful, the other person has a right to know for safety reasons. C.”

You bring up a valid point with the STD thing but if you've had yourself tested and that isn't a possibility then I still have to say no.

Most people, mind you I'm not saying all, tell the truth about things like this simply to assuage their own guilt. Don't you find that remotely selfish?

Quoting ♥ Hunter's Mama:“ You bring up a valid point with the STD thing but if you've had yourself tested and that isn't a possibility ... [snip!] ... not saying all, tell the truth about things like this simply to assuage their own guilt. Don't you find that remotely selfish?”

I can see how it's selfish in some regards, yes.

C.

Quoting Erica (MizAmERICA):“ just curious, if you don't mind...how did he eventually find out?”

Well the guy that i cheated on him with, they ended up becoming really good friends and one day they got into an arguement and his friend said to him, "F*** you, I slept with your wife!" We weren't married when I cheated but we had gotten married before he found out...

Quoting n8ivebutterfli:“ Well the guy that i cheated on him with, they ended up becoming really good friends and one day they ... [snip!] ... to him, "F*** you, I slept with your wife!" We weren't married when I cheated but we had gotten married before he found out...”

So how did he react to you once he found out?

I have a friend that cheated on her SO a few times while they were having "troubles" although they were not sperated or anything. He didnt find out until she told him. He was mad at first and stayed that way for a couple months but now they have a stronger relationship then they ever had before. If she hadnt told him then he never would have found out because they had two completely seperate sets of friends.

I would tell him because IMO its better to find out sooner then to hide it. The thought of having something in the back of my mind that he doesnt know thats a big deal would drive me crazy. I wouldnt want him to hide it from me so I would never hide anything from him.

Quoting ♥ Hunter's Mama:“ You bring up a valid point with the STD thing but if you've had yourself tested and that isn't a possibility ... [snip!] ... not saying all, tell the truth about things like this simply to assuage their own guilt. Don't you find that remotely selfish?”

I think it selfish to hide it because of fear of how they would react or fear of them leaving. They have a right to know.

One of my close friends cheated on her husband with a guy we knew from high school. Turns out....that guy had herpes. She never told her husband but he's in the military so eventually.....he found out he had herpes.

That didn't go over well.

Quoting KalyBelle:“ One of my close friends cheated on her husband with a guy we knew from high school. Turns out....that ... [snip!] ... She never told her husband but he's in the military so eventually.....he found out he had herpes. That didn't go over well.”

Poor guy

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ Poor guy”

Yah well they're still together. It was a pretty odd relationship to begin with. They started dating online. 2 months later he flew here and they got married. Only 2 days after meeting in person. The next week is when she cheated on him. LoL So they've only been together now a total of like 3.5 months!

I don't know...... who am I cheating with?? Is it David Tennant or Sting? (i have a thing for brits) I'd never cheat but, if for some reason I did, I'd tell. We would get a divorce and I'd be screwed for the rest of my life.....hence why I'd never cheat..

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ I would tell him because IMO its better to find out sooner then to hide it. The thought of having something in the back of my mind that he doesnt know thats a big deal would drive me crazy. I wouldnt want him to hide it from me so I would never hide anything from him..”

That's not telling him because he "deserves" to know. That's telling him to make yourself feel better. I never said anything about being afraid to tell for fear of reaction. I was talking about being "honest" to make your guilt less.

Quoting ♥ Hunter's Mama:“ That's not telling him because he "deserves" to know. That's telling him to make yourself feel better. ... [snip!] ... said anything about being afraid to tell for fear of reaction. I was talking about being "honest" to make your guilt less.”

Being honest wouldnt change my guilt. Yeah it would drive me crazy because it would be like lying everyday and he doesnt not deserve to be forced to stay with a liar even if he would never know otherwise. He deserves better then that and he deserves to have the option to leave if he wants to. I dont think telling them would really make anyone feel less guilty because they still did it.