Going on a long trip, should I pack it for him???-SN

So I jumped all in when my ex said he was going to California and told him to take our son. It would be good for bonding, and he would get to go to Disneyland which our son has been BEGGING for.

Well now that I have the confirmation, I'm getting worried. They're going to be in Yorba Linda for 1 week staying with friends of his family. So I called up to my ex and asked him if he has warned them yet of our son's problems and what are they going to eat. I offered to make a list of food that our son eats that he won't gag on. He said he would take a list, but that he hasn't informed his friends yet of just was exactly is wrong with our son.

This family has not seen our son since he was 3 months old, and we separated when he was 1, and divorced when he was 2. And I decided to not let him go back until he was old enough, or unless I went with him and I never made it back(it was in the hopes to see his great grandma before she passed, I never made it). But now I think he's made enough progress in school(where he's been getting a lot of new coping schools and other abilities) to where he can go without me and he's 6. but he still has problems. Which still include an occasional outburst which can lead to throwing things and destroying things, or everything has to be in the right order or else he gets upset, he's still having problems speaking, his speech has improved so much better, but he still has difficulty when he gets excited. He still occasionally screams, and food is the biggest issue, he's been gagging more so than usual. Lastly his left arm is still partially disabled which means he struggles from time to time when having to do things with both arms, and can get upset if a situation comes up like that.

I really think he should inform the family that he'll be staying with for a week. He says he doesn't know. What do you think?

And also about the list. I'm worried the list wouldn't be enough or not be followed. As a safe precaution since they are driving I was thinking of packing a box of snacks that our son likes and won't gag on. But I don't want to be intrusive.

What are everyone's thoughts on this?

I would defiantly pack the snack boxes!!!!

Pack the snacks, who cares what others think, your son will be the thankful one.

I would pack the snack box or have your Ex go shopping with you one day.

Pack the snacks, who cares what others think, your son will be the thankful one.

I would definitely make a list and stress how important it is. I also think the bag of snacks for the drive is a great idea.

I don't think that would be intrusive. I think it is a way to help him out and minimize some of the stress of taking the long trip. Maybe just talk to him and suggest it and get his reaction from the suggestion, that should help you gauge how it will make him feel. Either way though, your doing it for your son and to make the trip easy for him as well.

Ok whew. Because my son is really bad. I mean he likes corn dogs, but if it's deep fried he'll gag. If it's not the right apple cut the right way, he'll gag. etc...and I was getting worried. There's obviously somethings I can't send but I can pack a box of non perishable snacks! And send of list of perishable food they can buy once they get there!

Thanks ladies, because I have bad anxiety and I've been freaking out about it!

Quoting Blaiden & Layla's Mama!:" I don't think that would be intrusive. I think it is a way to help him out and minimize some of the stress ... [snip!] ... you gauge how it will make him feel. Either way though, your doing it for your son and to make the trip easy for him as well. "

It was planned trip to go pick up his grandmother's sewing machine to bring back for his mom. And when I said he better take our son. He kind of got weird, like "Oh god I have to take him" and he's been acting weird ever since. Mostly because I think he's worried too being so far away from home and having him with all his problems.

Ok my ex said it was great idea(I was surprised he said that!) so yay! I'll feel better now!

Plus our son LOVES packing his box of food. We're going out of town this weekend too and we get to get the stuff for the food box for his this weekend packed tomorrow!

I'd even get things like pasta (if he eats that)

And I'd probably send a pic of the way you cut his fruit (like a little pic of his prepared food)

Quoting Jamils_ mommy:" I'd even get things like pasta (if he eats that) And I'd probably send a pic of the way you cut his fruit (like a little pic of his prepared food)"

I was wondering if I should take it as far as getting his rice mac n cheese that he likes too. I am going to send a list and his dad has seen some of the way we cut his food for apples, but right now he's off apples again. All good ideas. I just don't want to be the over bearing mother. His dad likes to often "pretend" nothing is wrong with him. I'm more worried about him not telling the family he's staying with and him having a breakdown. I don't have enough funds to fly down and bring him back. Let alone drive.

<blockquote><b>Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:</b>" I was wondering if I should take it as far as getting his rice mac n cheese that he likes too. I am ... [snip!] ... family he's staying with and him having a breakdown. I don't have enough funds to fly down and bring him back. Let alone drive."</blockquote>


Ya I would, he can totally play it off like your neurotic... Hell give him an out and wrote a note he has food allergies, the thing is anyone can deny a disability until the meltdown, and then they will get on there toes

Quoting Jamils_ mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:</b>" I was wondering if I should take ... [snip!] ... note he has food allergies, the thing is anyone can deny a disability until the meltdown, and then they will get on there toes"

When I told him one time, "Did you know Jacob throws his mattress too?"

He was like "He does WHAT?"

And then he admitted he doesn't have him enough to see a true meltdown.

Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" When I told him one time, "Did you know Jacob throws his mattress too?" He was like "He does WHAT?" And then he admitted he doesn't have him enough to see a true meltdown."

least he admitted it...
you arent overbearing. you are trying to help your ex and your son have the best vacation possible