Apparently...

My SO has said that he basically has no sex drive anymore. We used to have sex 2-3 times a week. It was like every time we saw each other, he couldn't wait to get into my pants. Now...it feels like pulling teeth to get him in bed with me.

We previously have had a lot of relationship problems. He says that it's just because of those problems (that were quite some time ago) that he just doesn't have the sex drive.

Now, I have also noticed that the passion is gone. It just isn't the same. He doesn't think that can come back.

I am so distraught over this. I don't have a clue what to do. Any advice or suggestions ladies? (Besides leave him...lol)

Maybe time apart will help sometimes trying to fix things only makes things worse and i'm not saying leave him lol

Thanks.. I just am so lost. We've just bought a house together, and are planning a wedding and all of this stuff, and then he says the "lust is gone" last night. Even worse is I have nobody to talk to anymore.

Quoting *Berrrr:" Thanks.. I just am so lost. We've just bought a house together, and are planning a wedding and all of ... [snip!] ... wedding and all of this stuff, and then he says the "lust is gone" last night. Even worse is I have nobody to talk to anymore."

Not to pry but have you guys tried doing new/different things in the bedroom? Maybe ask what his fantasies are...or are you guys not open like that?

Quoting Kelly+Brandon=Blake:" Not to pry but have you guys tried doing new/different things in the bedroom? Maybe ask what his fantasies are...or are you guys not open like that?"

I've tried that in the past. Mostly he isn't into much. He has a foot fetish, and I try to do all I can for him (I try to understand it and be supportive...it's just a little outside my mind I guess... Haha.) Like, he likes tying me up and tickling me. Having me beg for him to stop. (Sorry, TMI possible. Heh) But usually that ends in him getting overly excited, and I don't end up getting any pleasure. Ya know?

I just want that lust back  

Quoting *Berrrr:" Thanks.. I just am so lost. We've just bought a house together, and are planning a wedding and all of ... [snip!] ... wedding and all of this stuff, and then he says the "lust is gone" last night. Even worse is I have nobody to talk to anymore."

Something very very similar happen to me and we both just tried to ignore the feelings and continue doing what we where doing within a few months things got bad and he moved out after about 2 weeks we realized that being apart wasnt what he or I wanted and things didnt go back to normal but they where even better. Maybe try staying with family/friends for a couple of days.. good luck mommas hope everything gets better i know rough patches suck

Quoting *Berrrr:" Thanks.. I just am so lost. We've just bought a house together, and are planning a wedding and all of ... [snip!] ... wedding and all of this stuff, and then he says the "lust is gone" last night. Even worse is I have nobody to talk to anymore."

Also, I started feeling like we were starting to drift and we've(my SO and I) only been together for a year so I started being flirty..sometimes funny flirty, sometimes sexy flirty...and it brightened things up alot. I just found that I tend to lose myself in relationships so maybe if you bring out your "younger self" again it might spark something that attracted him to you in in the first place. Just some thoughts, hope it helps  

Quoting *Berrrr:" I've tried that in the past. Mostly he isn't into much. He has a foot fetish, and I try to do all I ... [snip!] ... that ends in him getting overly excited, and I don't end up getting any pleasure. Ya know? I just want that lust back  "

Hmm..and no not TMI lol that's what this site is for!   But yeah I seriously would look into marriage counseling. It doesn't mean you guys are super troubled but I truly believe it helps alot! My SO and I started couples counseling just yesterday and it's crazy but it already made a big difference, we feel so much closer and I can only see it going up from here. And we're working on "couple time" and him having a hard time expressing his affection.

Thanks ladies. I think it's mostly that I just needed to talk about it. SO works third shift (He'll be switching to 2nd shift within the next 2-3 weeks) and I just am alone. So, typically, my mind goes crazy. Haha

Quoting Kelly+Brandon=Blake:" Hmm..and no not TMI lol that's what this site is for!   But yeah I seriously would look into marriage ... [snip!] ... I can only see it going up from here. And we're working on "couple time" and him having a hard time expressing his affection."

I've had this suggested before. The problem is idk where to go for it, and idk if we'd be able to afford it.

Quoting *Berrrr:" I've had this suggested before. The problem is idk where to go for it, and idk if we'd be able to afford it."

Do you have state insurance or insurance at all? There are plenty of places that are good priced. You have to ask yourself if your relationship is worth fixing to spend the money. I'm on the state so it's free until I have our baby and then we're going to pay for the rest which won't be too much. And honestly if it was more money then I'm positive we would still pay for it because money don't mean anything if we're not together and happy. And take my SO and I for example. We're great at solving problems outside of our relationship but when it comes to each other, the communication and the trying to figure out what and how to do things..it's just not that easy. Our therapist is great at taking both our sides and making us see each others views and giving us ways to reach each other differently. We're actually going to go on a real date this weekend and we're both so excited! If you guys really want to be with each other, the money won't matter sweetheart. You never know until you try, and it's never too late to start.  

It isn't that the money matters, it's that we just don't have it to spend at the moment. It would be worth it, but it isn't worth not paying the electric bill or something like that...know what I mean?

I've got insurance, but I honestly don't know if it covers things like that.

Quoting *Berrrr:" It isn't that the money matters, it's that we just don't have it to spend at the moment. It would be ... [snip!] ... bill or something like that...know what I mean? I've got insurance, but I honestly don't know if it covers things like that."

Yeah I understand that lol but why don't make some phone calls and try to find out if you guys can be covered...what can it hurt?