re: Mind sm*rfed again by BD.

Quoting Tavi:" I think they only way to find out if he's real about this is for him to put for the effort like the ... [snip!] ... Make him come to you guys. You don't owe him anything. He needs to make the effort if he really wants to be a father to him. "

Well, I've got another therapy appointment tomorrow, maybe she can help me figure out some set deadlines.
Like...I don't know. But I'm certainly not driving to Gastonia and back AGAIN, and paying for gas AGAIN, just to be spit on.
I mean, I'd crawl on my hands and knees from Gastonia to my city to see my child, I'm sure he can find a ride...

Quoting Shannonsfirst:" I completely understand. It a hard hard place to be. Unfortunately there is no easy answer. Let me ... [snip!] ... KNOW whats important in life. If 'BD' is good for your son, he will take the steps, you shouldnt have to take them for him."

Beacon of light there man.
And yeah, you're right. If he had my son, I'd put on ballerina shoes and tip toe my ass to Gastonia if I had to, because I love him, that is my baby, he is my purpose for getting up every morning.

Quoting Dr. Fetus Killa:" True, but he's trying to try. Perhaps he waited for the moment for his bipolar whore to get on board so there would be less drama."

Could be. I never know with that girl.
I'll give it to him, when we had our first/only visitation, he was great. Nervous as smurf, but he was great. He fed LO, changed his diapers (put the first one on backwards, lmao), played with him, it was kind of like he'd just always been around.
I want that, I really do, but I'm scared and that's hard for me to admit.

Quoting Dr. Fetus Killa:" True, but he's trying to try. Perhaps he waited for the moment for his bipolar whore to get on board so there would be less drama."

Maybe so. All I know is I can understand why OP is so cautious with this situation. If he was in fact waiting for her to jump onboard so there'd be less drama, that right there says something too. There should be no drama about wanting to see your child. Especially when the mother is ready and willing to make it happen.

There's only so much bullsmurf someone can tolerate before they start shutting doors...

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" Well, I've got another therapy appointment tomorrow, maybe she can help me figure out some set deadlines. ... [snip!] ... be spit on. I mean, I'd crawl on my hands and knees from Gastonia to my city to see my child, I'm sure he can find a ride..."

Yea, that's a good idea. See what she thinks about the situation too. She could probably put it better than a lot of us can.

If he truly wants to be a dad, he'll pull through for his son. A couple hours of driving is nothing.

Quoting Tavi:" Yea, that's a good idea. See what she thinks about the situation too. She could probably put it better ... [snip!] ... than a lot of us can. If he truly wants to be a dad, he'll pull through for his son. A couple hours of driving is nothing. "

Yep, I've done the drive before, didn't kill me lmao. Knees were stiff, had to pee, but that's the only negative side effects.

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" Could be. I never know with that girl. I'll give it to him, when we had our first/only visitation, he ... [snip!] ... it was kind of like he'd just always been around. I want that, I really do, but I'm scared and that's hard for me to admit."

Remember that you CAN ask for visitations to be just his father. His dirty whore doesn't have to be there and she really has no right or reason to be there either.... It might cause more issues but at least you can weed the stupid smurf out and if she gets pissy about it and says she doesn't want him around then you KNOW FOR A FACT that he's a worthless pile.

Quoting Dr. Fetus Killa:" Remember that you CAN ask for visitations to be just his father. His dirty whore doesn't have to be ... [snip!] ... out and if she gets pissy about it and says she doesn't want him around then you KNOW FOR A FACT that he's a worthless pile. "

I'm a bit torn on that one.
I think if I actually met her face to face and got to know her a bit better and saw how she acted with/around children, I may be comfortable with it, but I doubt it...
I do worry about her in the sense, however, that she's quick to snap and take her anger out on a lot of people verbally and physically. Not to mention, she expects to discipline my son how she sees fit, AKA spanking and I absolutely do not agree with spanking. Time out, redirection, taking privileges, she can knock herself out, but I don't want her hitting my son and I'm about 99% positive she can't respect that. I think that's part of the reason I'm scared.
I'd be more comfortable with unsupervised visitation when LO is verbal and can express to me if something bad is happening while I'm not around.
Blech, I don't know.